Crimson Dungeon (Part 3: The Men's Best Attempt)

We left for the dungeon the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to go.

Well, most of us were.

“Kazuma? Why do you look so tired?” I asked. The pale and gaunt form of my boyfriend was not exactly a reassuring sight for the battle we were about to commit to. It wasn’t even Aqua this time, as we’d pretty conclusively been in each other’s arms all night after I’d fingered her to orgasm. “Did you not change watch with anyone for Musume?”

“Nnnn….” He groaned, barely able to keep his eyes open.

“Blonde.”

My eyes were doing something far different, as the voice of Musume made them bolt open. “Ah! Y-yeah?”

“I wanted to thank you for having no one watch me like a prisoner all night,” She said, no smile on her face but almost looking at me with respect, “It felt… nice to be respected in my choice to stay. I’m sure the King would have preferred you have multiple guards watching me, but I shall remember your choice to trust me.”

“N-no problem…” I gulped, daren’t not stating the plan Kazuma apparently failed with.

The tall woman nodded and then turned on her heel, walking towards Megumin and Aqua who were waiting for us at the end of the path. As she left I could feel myself breathe again, looking back at my genius boyfriend still struggling to hold his head up.

With a slight exhale and a smile I couldn’t deny, I quickly knelt down in front of him. “Not sure what happened, but you deserve a treat. Can I give you a lift for now?”

“...y’shure?”

“You’re as light as a feather to me,” I replied, and after another moment to consider it he shrugged and climbed onto my back. Our journey towards the dungeon starting once more, though now with a lot more hair sniffing on his part. “Feel free to grope me while you’re riding me, Kazuma.” He did thusly. "Mmn, th-that’s better." Genuinely. For both stability and the loneliness my chest felt whenever he wasn’t feeling me up.

“Thnks, Drknss…” He mumbled into my back, settling in to me while I walked us towards the others, “...hey, maybe we can stay somewhere other than Megumin’s tonight?”

“Oh? Want a little alone time? Just us and Aqua.”

“Sounds good… I just… don’t want to go back…” He had gotten almost to a terrified hiss with his voice back there. What happened last night? Did he get into an argument with Megumin that freaked him out or something?

I’ll have to reassure him when I get the chance… “...sexually, of course…”

“Hm?”

“Oh… I said that out loud…”

I quickly caught up to the others. Aqua complained she wanted a ride too, but I just promised my back to her on the way home. Megumin huffed, Musume seemed nonplussed, and after a brief jaunt through town we'd soon arrived at the dungeon.

The tall expanse of futuristic metal that rose to the heavens above us was always a marvel to see. I’d previously known it as the ‘secret facility’, a name used by the Crimson Demons during the tour of the area, despite the name 'secret' they had been very proud of having something so ‘cool’ in their village and shared it often.

Kazuma had also been dragged here before by Sylvia during her raid for the Mage Killer, but even he had to admit that seeing it in this new state was impressive. It had been rebuilt somewhat after Sylvia crashed through the top of the jagged metal, now adjourned with plenty of dark arts/'badass' paraphernalia, sporting a big new banner that said ‘CRIMSON DUNGEON’ in big red and black letters. Outside was a bustle of villagers all walking towards the large entrance, chatting away about their chances or kissing each other for greetings.

What really caught my eye was the vendors. About four different stalls were set up for different reasons. Drinks, merchandise, a betting booth… and a food booth being run by a very familiar giant snake.

“Luminara! What are you doing here?”

Her ears perked cutely on my voice, and her smile went wide when she saw both me and Kazuma approach, “Darkness! Kazuma! You made it! Look look look, The Snakery Bakery is in business!” She proudly announced. Posing for us wearing her cute muffin hat and frilly white apron that struggled to contain her ample chest.

“Eyy, nice job. The food smells great.” said Kazuma from my back.

“Thanks! Sales are going really well~ I met Yunyun when she came to your house looking for you, and I offered to help feed the masses with my new business!” She beamed, using her tail as a long extremity to hand Kazuma a muffin from the table, “Fafy is helping cook too. We’re still small, this stall is all the location I can afford right now, but we’ll also be at the festival later! Oh, I think the rest of the monster gang is coming too! Minus, uh… you know who.”

Right, Sylvia probably wanted to avoid the town for a while.

Which is almost ironic considering the Demon King’s Daughter was leaning over my shoulder right now to inspect.

“You, snake girl.”

“Um, get it right, please. It’s Luminara, of The Snakery. Bakery.” She was probably a bit too proud of the name to be sassing the daughter of evil like that. Perhaps the Crimson Demons were wearing off on her.

“You are selling to humans without fear of being slain by adventurers?” Musume frowned, looking genuinely confused, “How is this possible?”

“When my unlooped snake donuts taste this good, it doesn’t matter who sells it!” She said with a smile before grabbing a cup of food and wriggling it at Musume. Wow, so she broke a donut into one long snake-like pastry. How thematic!

Kazuma couldn’t help but comment under his breath, “That’s just a churro…”

The answer didn’t seem to satisfy Musume at all, instead turning around to see two Crimson Demon men chatting away while consuming some snake donuts. “You! Human scum! Answer me, do you accept this mon-!”

“Hey! Only the beautiful Soketto is allowed to call me scum! Who the hell are you?!” barked the man with the purple scarf.

“Hmm, is this the Demon King’s daughter we were told would be arriving?” Asked his friend, scratching at his thick black beard. His eyes were narrow, and a strange tension arose from the two as they studied Musume. She paused briefly, trying to gauge if this was a threatening aura or not.

Purple scarf snapped his fingers, “Oh yeah! The one Megumin already beat!”

“...what?”

The bearded man nodded, “Yeah, that’s the one. Guess we can ignore her then.” He surmised as the pair turned away from the ultimate evil, “I can’t believe she’s running around like she’s hot shit after being beaten by the explosion freak.”

I quickly dropped Kazuma on the floor and bearhugged a rabid Megumin before she could make the situation any worse. But there was little I could do about the twitch in Musume’s eye. “You… you think I am worthless, yet you do not wish to test yourself against my mettle?!”

“Nah, everyone knows your first defeat is the only one that matters.” Shrugged purple scarf, “Besides, I have to save my strength for the dungeon! That way I can become chief and make Soketto my bride!”

“You are such a perv,” His friend sighed, “Besides, the title will obviously be falling to me! Stuckapo: Crimson Demon Chief/Baker has a nice ring to it! Much better than ‘second person to beat the Demon King’s Daughter’! HAHAHA!”

“HA! Good one! Let’s get out of here before we accidentally defeat Megumin’s sloppy seconds with our manly aura!”

They laughed loudly down the path towards the dungeon. Leaving us to nervously approach the twitching anger ball capable of levelling the whole town to dust with her fire breath. “Uh… M-Musume-chan? Normally you wouldn’t kill everyone over that, right?” A stab in the dark if that would work, but every little helps.

It took a minute of intense calming breaths for her to respond. During which time a small amount of purple energy seemed to escape her murmuring rage filled mouth, “...I understand I must not even use the lowest form of magic… but a small curse upon those two fools just happened to spill out of me…”

“W-what does it do?”

“It makes both of their tongues fail to rest peacefully in their mouths.”

That made all four of us shudder. “Cruel… but fair.” said Megumin.

BBBZZAART!!!

KKKCRACKKOOMMM!!!!

FWASH! FWASH! FWASH! FWASH!

“AAHHHHH!!!! JUST DIE ALREADY!!!!!”

This… this was really a sight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Crimson Demons struggle so much.

The inside of the secret building added to the arena vibes the outside had been ramping up towards. A dungeon entrance leading downwards was in the centre of a large ring of quickly constructed wooden seats. Rows of benches for onlookers to gaze upon the single cave entrance would certainly be a foolish sight, if not for the large magical projectors showing what was happening inside the dungeon from different angles.

And the absolute destruction that was being made of the Crimson Demons.

The men of the village had already been sent inside after a quick introduction by the chief. The idea being that there would be a dungeon level of monsters to defeat, each monster defeated would earn you a point, and whoever could make it to the end would gain three additional points. Once everyone was either defeated or victorious, the next layer of the dungeon would be constructed and the process would repeat, with the highest point score being the winner and chief. It was a fairly long and tedious process where each man had to have their own introduction before joining the centre ring, so it was already midday by the time anyone had been sent in. At least Luminara and Fafy had made bank with their snacks though. Kazuma had also been offered a spot in the men’s group, but denied it since it would only be beaten by Yunyun’s score anyway.

After entering the cave though, it was clear the instructions to the engineer ‘put it on maximum difficulty’ may have been a tad too far. The highest level monsters I’d ever seen had been constructed and blocked the way for the spell casters. We’re talking 20ft tall pig demons, practically immune to magic, and able to slam a man against the wall with just the pressure of swinging its humongous club.

And that was just one monster.

We’d watched an absolute bloodbath of terror from the male’s side. I had gotten jealous several times while imagining myself getting slammed into walls by snakes or ripped apart by dogs.

Thankfully my blue haired Goddess was able to quickly lend a hand and begin reviving the many, MANY, males being carted out from the dungeon’s entrance.

Not a single point had been scored after two hours of fighting.

“I cannot believe these were the warriors causing my father so many issues,” Musume commented after another pile of men was shot from the dungeon. “They cannot even defeat one monster?”

“I-I’m sure they tried their best…” Said Yunyun, who had saved us all seats at the front, much to Megumin’s chagrin. “It does make me a little nervous though, how strong are those fake monsters…?”

“If any of them had learned explosion, this would never have happened!”

“You do realise that we’d still be dealing with a fuck ton of corpses from all the idiots using explosion in a confined space, right?” Kazuma and Megumin locked angry eyes again briefly, but she didn’t have enough of a retort to actually sass back.

I decided to actually try and calm the poor girl, “Yunyun, could we try and convince your dad to call it off? If no man has managed to earn a point, I fail to see how harming all the wom-”

“Bukkororii has earned three points!”

Our heads all spun around to see the man who had grilled Musume earlier standing in the end zone of the dungeon.

“I did it!” He exclaimed loudly, pumping his arms victoriously in the air repeatedly, “My genius plan to sneak by the competition for three easy points worked perfectly! The Crimson Demon Son-of-the-Shoe-Shop-Owner will soon be the leader of the whole damned village! HAHAHA!”

This was not a revelation anyone seemed happy about.

“No!” Yunyun exclaimed, hands on her face in panic, “Anyone but him!”

Her rival nodded with concern, “Ugh, seriously. Bukkororii is known for being the laziest perverted jerk in the whole village whenever Kazuma’s not visiting.”

“Oi.”

My hands continued to coddle our friend, “D-don’t worry, Yunyun. I’m sure someone can beat his score!”

“ALL CRIMSON DEMONS DEFEATED! BUKKORORII IS VICTORIOUS!”

Ah, well that was a bit of a nail in that proverbial coffin. Yunyun’s face was in her hands, “Well… I’m sure you could still beat his score!”

She turned to me with huge watery eyes, “B-but then I have to marry him!”

Oh, right. That… is not… great…

His big lecherous grin was plastered all over the screen, and he was currently doing a strange victory dance where he humped the air for fun.

“Uh, perhaps I’ll try and talk to someone about it?”

There was no talking to any of these animals.

Even normalities did nothing. Trying to make it normal for Bukkororii to give up the points didn’t work, he was too excited to either marry Soketto or, as a consolation prize, Yunyun. Trying to **** a redo of the men’s portion where Kazuma can participate didn’t work, mostly because the men were all super injured. And trying to start a democratic election again REALLY didn’t work. The only hope I had now was to find the one controlling the dungeon and try to at least lower the difficulty. Maybe if multiple women win more points than Bukkororii then I can convince there to be a redo on the male side? Or have Yunyun marry a woman, that’d probably be easier.

I cautiously made my way through the labyrinthine corridors of the futuristic science lab, the hum of machinery and the crackle of magical energy filling the air. Panels had been ripped out of the walls, wires and potions littered the space, all seemingly leading up to a single point in the back of the room.

At first, my attention was drawn to the intricate machinery that lined the walls, but as I looked closer, I caught sight of a woman’s silhouette amidst the chaos. The figure was hunched in a chair while smacking a weird rectangle in front of a magical viewing screen. She wore scientist robes adorned with pockets and pouches, and a pair of large, round glasses perched on her nose, reflecting the glow of the magical apparatuses around her. Her black hair was tied back in a ponytail, swaying gently behind her as she worked.

My feet approached slowly, as delicate as crusader feet could, “Um, hello?” I asked openly to no response, “Excuse me?”

Despite the dim turquoise lighting, I could see that she had a medium-sized body, her lab coat revealing a hint of scruffy red clothes underneath. There was an air of determination about her, a sense of focus beyond my abilities as she tinkered with the rectangle with deft precision.

“M-miss?” I repeated, just barely grazing her shoulder with my hand.

Suddenly, finally realising my presence, she straightened up and shot out of her chair. For a moment, there was a tense silence between us, broken only by the gentle hum of the machinery.

Then, without warning, she turned dramatically to face me, her expression hidden behind her glasses other than a broad smirk. I braced myself for a traditional Crimson Demon greeting, but to my surprise, she remained silent, her lips pressed together in a determined line.

…

The quiet continued to drone on, growing in awkwardness as I expected her to say… well, anything.

How was I supposed to respond to the silent standoff? Was this some sort of test?

As the seconds stretched on, I couldn't help but ask, “...hello? Can you speak?”

“Ah! I forgot to say anything again!” The woman gasped, shocking herself at her lack of verbosity, “Man, my intro was so good too! Gahh! That’s frustrating.”

“...you forgot to say your intro?” Thank Eris.

“Yeah, happens all the time. People think it’s because I get too lost in my own head. ‘When your head is stuck in the clouds the rest of your body doesn’t always know how to act’ is what my mom would say.” She sighed a jovial sigh, hands in pockets, she was taking this all rather well. “Anyway, I won’t redo it in full, but you may call me Saikomiko! Technology expert and female NEET of the Crimson Demons! What can I do for you?”

“Technology expert? Oh! You’re the one who fixed the dungeon!”

She beamed a pleasant row of teeth at my realisation, “That’s me! The creator has always been an obsession of mine. I mean, he freaking created us! His abilities far exceed my own, but I’ve studied all his works to finally be able to control this dungeon for the betterment of my village, yep!”

I nodded at Saikomiko’s resolution. To be able to do all of this must have taken some sort of genius grade mind, so it was good that she had an honourable head on her shoulders.

The scientist leaned up against her work desk, “Let me guess, you figured out I rigged it for Bukkororii to win, right?”

“Y-you did?!”

Her eyes went wide yet, her lips went tight, and she said nothing. Had I the capability to read her mind I’d assume she’s regretting getting her thoughts and words mixed up again. Maybe ‘genius’ was a bit of a strong word.

“Does the contest need to be redone? This is for the fate of your whole village. Please use your mouth to speak.”

“Mouth! Thanks, and no. Crimson Demons aren’t against cheating, as long as it was for the right reasons or done to do something cool. Winning the contest definitely classifies.” Saikomiko shrugged, “Besides, if that fool wins he said he’ll let me run science experiments on people! Guinea pigs for new dungeon layouts! Pushing technology to its limit, just like the creator dreamed! Imagine the strength of the Crimson Demons after just a few decades of controlled breeding and genetic manipulation!”

I think I liked her more when this was all inside her head.

“F-first of all, please give me your contact details so I can volunteer for the torturous experiments in the future,” I coughed into my hand, thankfully Kazuma isn’t around to hear this, “Secondly, if you’re to be bought so easily, can I ask you to make sure Yunyun wins the next round?”

“No can do. Bukkororii wants Soketto, the fortune teller, to win, so that she can be his queen. My hands are tied, strange non-Crimson Demon lady.” She said while turning away from me, returning to her chair and rectangle.

“Right…”

Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.

I walked up slowly and stood behind her while she tapped away on her rectangle. The lines of green words across the screen meaning absolutely nothing to me, and with how many numbers there were I think I’d have to use the earrings just to make my brain understand.

Something I occasionally forget is that I have two earrings. The power to change reality is often the easiest solution, but I can also use the other ear to not have to worry about my actions.

Like reaching around the chair and taking Saikomiko’s large breasts in my hands.

“Mm,” She still feels it, even through her thick red sweater. Not to brag but my tit massage skills have really bloomed this last week, the glorious mounds of my friends have trained me to squeeze these heavenly science melons with expert precision, and getting to feel Saikomiko’s nipples slowly harden through her top was heavenly. “Th-this won’t change my opinion, you know.”

“I assumed,” I hummed into her ear before nibbling at it, if nothing else this was rather cathartic, but I also needed to change how things were going before the next round of the dungeon, “Hmm, if I said you normally wanted to be in the Harem Knight Kazuma’s harem, what would you say?”

“W-who’s Kazuma?”

“Oh, he’s my boyfriend… he’s over there.” I gestured to the second viewing portal she had open, one showing the outside of the dungeon where the viewers were sitting. After a quick point at him she seemed to consider it.

Her typing had slowed down considerably as my groping distraction worked its magic, “Right… so he’s the one the other blonde lady was talking about…”

“Wait, who?”

“A-a member of his fanclub. Managed to rope D-Dondoko and Funifurahhh~ i-into it before she was chased out of the v-village…” How the hell did Cecily’s reach extend all the way here?! Though, having some members of Kazuma’s fanclub in every city is kinda hot… “A-anyway, sorry but Saikomiko is far t-too unique and original to be tied down to what is ‘normal’... though, if he wanted to approach me, I may say y-yes.”

Okay. Cecily aside, we’re actually getting somewhere. They aren’t actually immune to the earrings, just psychologically incapable of being normal. This is good experiment time for Megumin too. I could be remiss about my actions but, to be fair, she is planning on doing much worse to the populace.

“You may think you’re abnormal, but your body can’t be so easily swayed,” I purred, enjoying the sizable tits a bit too much. Taking her poking nubbins in between my fingers hard enough to make her gasp, “Ohh, I’m so sure that these nice nipples are normally your weak spot, right?”

The red face she was fighting off grew much more crimson while she had to grit her teeth through the drool leaking from her mouth.

I’m sure she wanted to say ‘yes’ if she could remember to speak, but right now she was focused on letting me do what I wanted to her body. “You know, I can relate to you, Saikomiko. Sometimes I get so horny my head feels too full to speak as well. Normally your head is just swimming in dirty scientific breakthroughs, isn’t it?”

Saikomiko leaning her head against me the deeper I squeezed her vast chest. The smell of womanly juices beginning to stain the air between us, and she had no defence against me lifting her thick cotton top up to uncover those sweet bouncy breasts underneath. Scooping them out her bra to deeply pinch and manipulate the Crimson Demon’s nipples. Her breasts were bigger than Aqua’s but not as large as Luna’s. I’m sure being a NEET has kept her exercise levels down, so this fatty tissue was able to grow nice and soft for my fingers. With her now twitching pink areola taking up a not-insignificant portion of the surface area, perfect for me to play-

“THE FEMALE ROUND OF THE DUNGEON CONTEST WILL BEGIN IN FIVE MINUTES!”

Crap! Ran out of time getting distracted by Saikomiko’s huge tits! I need to get back down there or else they’ll be without a tank in the battle!

“Look, Saikomiko. You’d normally think my groping felt absolutely amazing right? Please remember to speak!”

“Nnnn…” Her tone seemed happy, though her eyes towards mine seemed hungry, “Not normal… but yes. That was a-amazing…”

“Good, so you’d normally want more, right?” Her chair quickly spun around to let the bare chested scientist leap up and into my arms, forcing her tits against mine as we briefly locked lips, “Mm! H-hold on! I have to go down and go into your dungeon!”

“No. Stay here and grope me more, blonde lady.”

The temptation was strong, but my honour to help my friends was too strong. “It’s Darkness. And I’ll come play with you again, IF you help me get Yunyun to victory this time.”

The woman groaned, and not from pleasure this time, “But she’s so la~ame! That boring loner would never let me fuse eagle wings to someone’s back…”

I was running out of time, I had to get back down to the main stage before I forfeit my chance to go into the dungeon. “Just… Please help! I know deep down you all think that Yunyun would do a good job! And keep thinking of the pleasure me and my big dicked boyfriend can give you!” I yelled while rushing out the lab and down through the labyrinth.

Hopefully Saikomiko will do the right thing, there’s only so much mental pushing I can accomplish with Crimson Demons.

After the blonde hottie left, the scientist sat in steamy need. Thrumming her long fingers against the desk.

The problem with frustration is it often spirals into more frustration before you can deter its warpath.

Having to type with one hand while you pinch your nipple with the other, for example. Or the fact your hand isn’t as pleasurable as the blonde lady’s expert teasing, and your favourite panties and chair are now permanently stained by your love liquid…

Saikomiko’s mind was having trouble focusing on importing the dungeon’s many challenges. So many huge enemies, she wondered what their cocks would feel like? The epic toughness of the pig demon she loved to summon now felt superfluous to the size and shape of what his demonic cock might be like. As she searched the files, ignoring her work briefly, she was heavily disappointed to find the pig sported a completely smooth crotch under the brown loincloth it wore. Constructs.

It was here where her mind birthed two ideas.

One idea was little too focused on Darkness’ words of ‘big dicked boyfriend’. A man whose cock had a fanclub… what was the size? The shape? The taste? The obsession in Saikomiko’s mind began building as wildly as some of her biggest inventions.

But the second idea remembered the creator’s secret ‘hidden_ero-dungeon_file.exe’.