Confusion

Sam Hayden felt confused and conflicted, and the longer he dwelt on it, the worse it got. He was a scientist to be sure, but the scientific process wasn’t his primary focus: he was a device builder, and planner, and a designer. An inventor, not a research scientist.

Yet the feelings he had about the lichen project filled him with uncertainty. He didn’t feel like he could talk to anyone about it either. There were many excellent reasons to start the lichen populating right away, yet the counter-argument had been entirely neglected. How could he form an opinion without it?

The one person he felt like he could have talked to seemed anything but receptive lately too. Since the expedition to the SpaceY site, Colby Smith had acted strange around him. Distant and dismissive. He felt like they had a good thing going, and the turn seemed strange.

It was made even more odd to Hayden by the fact they’d still been spending time together and even sleeping together. He questioned himself daily. Was this his problem? Was he misreading something? Was Colby happy with the relationship but dealing with something else she didn’t want to talk about? He felt like he had a dozen questions, no answers, and how could he even ask?

“Hey Colby, are you mad at me for fucking Tara? It’s not my fault that she’s the best damn cocksucker on Mars,” he imagined himself saying to her and he couldn’t imagine it going over. It was, he reckoned, was the crux of the issue, but how could Smith know that? Surely, she couldn’t, so the friction must be coming from elsewhere, he reasoned. His brain was screaming to him that something was off, but he didn’t know what it was, or why he felt as he did.

The first time with Dayton he felt terrible for days afterwards, but the more it kept accidently-on-purpose happening, the more he enjoyed it. He still felt like the biggest piece of shit on Mars, but that feeling was tempered by pleasure. If anything, feeling like a scumbag made it even hotter.

“Mars to Sam are you in there,” came Elizabeth Davis’s soft, Scottish accented voice. Hayden snapped out of his mental labours to look across the table to see the red-clad former SpaceY eating a plate of beans.

“Shit sorry I’m uh, I was miles away,” he stuttered. He tried to maintain a normal conversation after that with the young Scot, but when Tara Dayton walked by, his brain seemed to short circuit. He felt like he couldn’t even look at her without remembering all the times they’d fucked.

And once again, he couldn’t tell a soul, and it felt like he would go insane.

He looked over the blonde geology specialist in front of him. She was cute; short, with a blonde pixie cut, thick glasses, and a round butt. She looked to Hayden like the ‘nerd who is actually super pretty’ trope from Hollywood. Her red mining jumpsuit fit better than the one Li had given her, but it was tight around her butt, and long in the arms and legs. It, like Sheldon’s, was stained with red dirt.

“How goes the mining,” Hayden asked, attempting small talk to distract himself.

“Och fine,” she responded pleasantly, “it’s nice to be back to working in my field, even if it’s not quiet what I’d prepared for.”

“Which was,” Hayden inquired.

“Wells. I used to work on oil but here it’s water not oil, that is our most important commodity,” she explained. Hayden nodded amicably. He found himself thinking about Stacey, and their little apartment in LA. It was the first time he’d thought about home since the mission departed, and a pang of sadness tugged at his heart.

“What’s ah, what’s that like,” asked Hayden absently. Davis looked unimpressed, but she responded politely.

“It’s fine. Keeps me busy.”

Hayden nodded, and soon after, Davis politely excused herself and left him alone with his thoughts, but he made sure, in spite of his distraction, to check out Davis’s ass wiggle pleasantly as she walked away. He sat for some time, how long he didn’t know, sipping at his cup of lukewarm tea and mulling over his situation. He decided he needed advice, and for this, there was only one person he wanted to go to.

Hans Hermann sat up slowly, grunting in pain, when he saw Hayden approaching. He looked terrible; his arm bandaged up to the elbow with yellow antiseptic stains on the material, and a long bloody streak down the top of the hand where Alphonse had operated on him. On his left arm, there were IV’s and sensor attached that beeped parodically. In the clinic office, Ilsa Kellerman was writing some notes.

“Ah Sam, it is good to see you my friend,” Hermann said through gritted teeth.

“How are you Hans,” Hayden asked, sitting on the little exam stool next to the bed.

“I am well, the good nurse here,” Hermann said, gesturing with his uninjured hand to Kellerman who had just emerged from the office, “is taking good care of me.”

“I’m glad to hear it Ilsa,” joked Hayden, “we need our spiritual advisor alive and in good spirits.”

“Oh well, he’s both of those things,” chuckled Kellerman ruefully. “Hey Hans, I’m going to get some food since you have a visitor. Keep an eye on him OK,” she asked, looking at Hayden who nodded. He and Hermann both watched the slender medic as she walked away, Hermann, with undisguised lust.

“Maybe I am trapped in this clinic for too long, but that one is a nice little piece,” Hermann said in a low voice after Kellerman closed the door behind her.

“Both,” grunted Hayden with a grin. “How are ya holding up?”

“It fucking hurts,” Hermann responded, trying to hide the obvious pain in his voice. “It feels like my skin, my muscles, even my bones, are on fire, and there is only… fuck… only so much the morphine can do.”

“Shit man,” Hayden commented sympathetically, “that’s… fucked man.” He didn’t know what to say or do; what are you supposed to say to someone with a crushed hand? There aren’t exactly ‘sorry your hand got squished and frozen’ cards at the **** store, and no **** store to get them at.

“It is… what it is my friend,” Hermann said, reaching for the self medicate button. “Anyways, soon I will rest, but tell me, what are you up to? Is there something you needed or are you just here to ask a broken-down philosopher how he is feeling?”

“Well… both,” admitted Hayden. “I’d plan to check up on you and all, but I do have a matter I wanted, uh, wanted to talk about.”

“Ah yes, do tell,” Hermann responded, dragging himself into a sitting position, wincing in pain.

“Well, it’s a rather personal matter,” Hayden began, hesitatingly at first. He explained the whole situation; the relationship with Smith, the threesomes, the affair with Dayton. Hermann nodded and listened throughout, asking a very few questions, and otherwise just listening to the younger man.

“I understand the predicament,” Hermann said somberly when Hayden had explained himself fully. “This… this is tough. The affairs of the heart are not an easy thing to disentangle.”

“I don’t… I don’t even know what to do anymore man. Like, I feel like shit about messing around but it’s so fucking hot bro,” explained Hayden.

“You are fond of Smith,” asked Hermann.

“Yeah, very uh, a lot. We have a good thing going,” Hayden said, a note of sadness in the words.

“I see, I see. And you do not want to give up the affair with Miss Dayton,” Hermann asked pointedly.

“No! I mean like, it’s uh, it’s…” stuttered Hayden.

“I understand Sam I understand. It’s not so easy, these issues,” Hermann said in a soothing tone. “What do you think would happen if you told Colby?”

“I can’t imagine how, or that it would be good,” Hayden said, wincing as he spoke. Hermann nodded along.

“And Tara?”

“It’s weird,” he confided, “have you ever noticed it’s like, impossible to surprise her? Like, she always knows where everyone is, what they’re doing. She seems to know what people are gonna say and what they’re gonna do before they do it.”

“That is a strange observation Sam,” Hermann said.

“I… Uh, I don’t mean like,” Hayden began.

“Do not take for a criticism,” Hermann said quickly, “I mean the situation is, itself, very strange. I had not noticed this, but now that you mention it, it is odd.”

“It’s weirded me out a couple of times. Maybe it’s the proximity for work? That’s the other thing;” Hayden added, “we work in such close quarters I can’t afford to piss anyone off.”

“We all do I believe, but for you this is a particular problem,” Hermann said with a nod.

“Yeah exactly. So like, I dunno, I’m at a loss,” concluded Hayden.

“I can see why you would be,” Hermann understandingly said. “Are you wishing for my advice?”

“I’m all ears,” responded Hayden.

“Keep doing what you are doing,” croaked Hermann, whose medication was evidently taking hold.

“Wait, what,” Hayden asked, aghast.

“The sins of the flesh are not sins my friend,” preached Hermann, “but blessings from divinity. Tell me something: would a loving and caring god give us the gift of pleasure, the joy of climax, were if it were not so?”

“Well sure,” Hayden said, confused, “but…”

“And in view of this, and knowing that you do not seek to harm, or cause division among the ladies what are your options? To be honest will potentially destroy the relationship you have with Colby. To lie, you will give and receive sacred pleasure while also remaining, as long as you are clever, not harming your lover. Lovers.”

“You’re high as fuck Hans,” chuckled Hayden.

“I am, yes, but this advice is why you came to me,” Hermann retorted.

“I don’t even believe in all that though,” Hayden persisted.

“You do not believe, but that matters not,” Hermann answered grandiloquently. “You came to me because even though you don’t hold my faith, you believe my words.”

“So let me get this straight,” Hayden said, suppressing a giggle, “you- no I mean God, wants me to keep sleeping with both women so that I don’t piss them off and also so that we all share in the pleasures of the flesh?”

“Well put my friend,” beamed Hermann, who was by this point, clearly struggling to stay awake.

“You’ve uh, you’ve given me a lot to think about,” Hayden said as Hermann worked his way down in the bed, clearly exhausted.

“You have much to consider Sam but remember this; you came to me because you sought my advice,” Hermann said as he pulled the hospital linin up to his chin. “Heed it, or don’t, but hear me when I say to heed your heart. Heed what brought you to me.”

“I will,” Hayden said somberly. He stood to leave and gave Hermann a gentle pat on the shoulder. He was already asleep, seen off by the **** in his system. Kellerman returned to the clinic as Hayden was rising to leave.

“How is he Ilsa,” he asked in a low voice in case Hermann could still hear them. She sighed heavily before responding.

“It’s not good. His hand I mean,” she said stiffly. “He is lucky to even keep the hand, with the amount of **** involved… We’ll see but he has a long road of physical therapy ahead of him.”

“Thanks,” Hayden said with sadness in his voice. It was tough to see Hermann in such pain, and he left feeling glum and no less confused. Thoughts swirled through his head, and he struggled to contain the worry he felt.

Hayden walked slowly down the long, cold hallways to the botany lab. He tried to distract himself by looking at the flourishing plants the botanists were tending and admired the resilient little insects they had released into the lab for pollination. It was late evening, and nobody was left working.

He found himself walking slowly towards the science lab. The work that needed to be done was done, and he had no reason to be there, but even as he thought about it, he felt compelled to keep walking.

The science lab was mostly dark. The workstation he used was off, as he had left it, as was Smith’s, but light emanated from the office. He saw, as he knew he would, that Tara Dayton was working at her desk within. He pretended not to notice and shuffled some papers on his desk around.

“I was expecting you,” Dayton said, standing in the doorway to her office. Her white jumpsuit was tied up around her waist, and she was wearing a well-worn black, Red Hot Chilli Peppers t-shirt.

“What do you mean,” Hayden asked, looking up from his pretend-work. “I was just stopping in to check on th…”

“No you weren’t,” Dayton giggled, interrupting him.

“What do you mean,” Hayden demanded.

“Don’t bullshit me Sam,” Dayton said lightly, “I know what you’re working on and you ain’t here to check on no vapour barrier for the moisture system.”

“And you know this how,” Hayden asked acidly. He was annoyed to be so jolted from his white lie.

“I know everything Sam,” Dayton retorted dismissively, stepping over to his workstation. She was standing so close Hayden could smell her shampoo. “And I know you aren’t here for this.” She pushed Hayden’s papers around dismissively.

“Well why am I here then Tara,” he asked, turning to fully face her. As was the habit among the Martian women, .4G meant most rarely wore bras, and Dayton was no exception, and Hayden noticed her nipples immediately.

“I think you wanted to see me, but you can’t quite admit to yourself that you do,” she said, her eyes flicking up and down his body. “I think you feel bad for cheating and think if you pretend to be surprised it’ll make getting what you want easier on your mind.”

Hayden didn’t want to admit she was right, again, but she was. He knew it, and she did too. He thought she was about to go in for a kiss but instead she turned on her heels and strode back to her office. Hayden admired her shapely, round ass with undisguised lust. At the doorway, Dayton turned her head back and giggled seeing him checking her out.

“You coming?”

Hayden felt his feet walking to Dayton’s office before he was conscious that he was walking. Dayton’s smirk grew slightly when she saw him walk to her, all the while feeling like he was in slow motion.

“Why do you keep coming back,” Dayton asked as she untied her white and blie jumpsuit sleeves.

“Isn’t it obvious,” Hayden responded, feeling his chest tighten with anticipation.

“Tell me,” Dayton said in a low, sultry voice. She dropped the sleeves and then pushed the jumpsuit down over her hips, letting it fall and leaving her in just panties and her black tee.

“These for starters,” Hayden said as he approached her, and felt her round tits through her t-shirt. He kissed her deeply but she quickly backed away.

“Be specific,” she said, backing away, “tell me why you cheat on Colby with me.”

“You’re really asking me that,” Hayden exclaimed in a low voice, “why?”

“I just like to know these sort of things Sam,” Dayton shrugged, watching Hayden as he unzipped his own jumpsuit and stepped out of it. “Why take such a risk?”

“Is it a risk?”

“Do you think if Colby walked in,” she asked slowly, rubbing her naked breasts while her eyes played up and down Hayden’s body. “She would be OK with this?”

“Maybe she would, I dunno,” he grunted, peeling his tank top off. His cock was by this time, tenting his underwear and his body craved Dayton’s touch, but she persisted.

“It’s dangerous to the sanctity of the team,” she explained softly, sitting back down in her office chair. She pushed her panties down and off and opened her legs. Hayden admired her short, shaved, blonde pubic hair above her visibly wet pussy. “It could really effect the dynamic if she was upset,” she continued, sliding her index finger inside herself.

“Mhm probably,” grunted Hayden, who pushed his boxers down and stepped out of them. He saw Dayton watch his cock bob up and down when he pulled it out, and her watching him excited him. He was deeply resentful of the line of questioning, but if his cock got wet, he’d call that a fair trade.

“So, mmmmm, so tell me why you do it,” moaned Dayton, her finger plunging deeply into herself while her other reached to her clit and started playing with her exposed nub. “You… you two seem happy, why, oh fuck, you seem to not want to pick one of us…”

Hayden started to slowly stroke his cock to the sight of his little blonde boss playing with herself. Each time she lifted her hips to her touch, she moaned, and her tits jiggled pleasantly, and her fingers were shiny with her juices. He was **** to take her, use her, and cover her with his hot load, but when he approached her, she waved him away.

“Not yet,” she said sharply, without stopping playing with herself, “if you want to me you have to tell me how you’re going to keep this game we play from endangering our mission Sam.”

“You want me to… OK,” Hayden stuttered, almost too horny to form complete sentences. He was listening entirely to his dick, and reengaging his brain in such a moment was more challenging then he cared to admit. Dayton nodded, while she pushed a second finger inside herself while she used her pinky to tease her asshole. “I uh, we have to be careful I guess.”

“Mi-mister Hayden,” Dayton moaned, “you need to do better than that.”

“What if… uh what if I told Colby I want you to join us again,” he proposed, “in a threesome. Then we could hook up without the risk?”

“Good boy,” whimpered Dayton, who bucked her hips, tipped her head back and moaned loudly. Her pussy was so wet her fingers squelched, and her cum dripped down her hand. She slid her soaking wet fingers out of her and held them up to Hayden. He licked the proffered fingers, tasting her juices. She reached out and took his hard cock in her hand and started to gently stroke him while she replaced her wet, fingers back in herself. “The next time I taste this cock,” she whispered, her lips so close to him that he could feel her breath on his cockhead as she spoke, “I want to taste Colby’s cunt on it.”

With that, Dayton started to gently lick up and down the shaft of Hayden’s cock. She worked her way up to his circumcised tip and licked the dot of precum off of it with obvious relish. Then she took him deep into her throat, making him gasp with the suddenness of the pleasure.

“Ohhh fuck,” Hayden gasped, his knees weak. He watched her bob and slurp on his cock, taking her time, sliding the entirety of his shaft down her throat before pulling back out with drool and precum dripping from her lips.

“Also Sam,” Dayton said, looking up into his eyes. She kissed and sucked along his cock gently while she whispered, “if you hurt Colby, I’ll be very VERY upset with you,” before taking deepthroating him again. ‘I have a (slurp), vested interest in (suck) making sure you and Miss Smith stay happy with each other.”

“Uh, OK I’ll, gaaaa fuuuck,” Hayden gasped, “I’ll do… I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Good boy,” she said again, and after taking him in her mouth one last time, stood. “If you hurt Colby, you hurt me Sam, but if you make her happy…” she turned around, presenting her tight, round butt to him, and placing her hands on the desk. “I’ll make you happy.”

Hayden grabbed Dayton’s hips and guided himself into her slick entrance. As soon as he felt the tight wetness of her pussy engulf his cock, he rammed it hard inside her, making her squeak with shock and pleasure.

“I’ll… hghmmm, I’m gonna take you up on that,” he gasped between hard, ramming thrusts. She had nothing to say after that but moans and screams of pleasure. He held his hand on the small of her back, holding her down and thrusting so hard things fell off her desk while she wailed incoherently. Her hands gripped the edge of the desk and she screamed, and Hayden felt her tighten like a vice around him while his crotch get soaked with squirt.

Hayden pulled out long enough to soak his finger in her quivering pussy then pushed back in and kept fucking her. His wet finger slid down Dayton’s butt to her asshole, and he worked it gently inside, making her moan loudly. He started plowing her hard again, fingering her ass to the rhythm of the thrusts until he had his entire finger inside her. She wailed and started to squirt again, and he felt her cum run down his legs.

“Fuckfuck,” Dayton gasped, and stood back up, making Hayden slide out of her. Her pussy, inside of her thighs, and her office desk were all soaked with her squirt. She spun around, dropped to her knees, and took his wet cock deep in her mouth.

“Like tasting your pussy,” Hayden gasped, watching her suck and stroke his cock. He was close, very close, but he wanted it to last forever. She throated him again, and as she did, he felt her hand travel up the back of his thigh to his ass. The hand that pressed up the crack of his ass to his anus was wet, and insistent. “I uh…”

“Haven’t had your ass played with while your cock gets sucked? Just relax,” Dayton said softly before returning to sucking. The feeling of her sliding inside of him felt strange, alien, but also good. He watched her bob on his cock, slurping and sucking loudly. Then the feeling went from discomfort to and explosion of pleasure from deep inside him.

“Christ I’m… gaaahggh,” Hayden gasped as an orgasm ripped instantly through his body. Dayton kept sucking him in a steady rhythm, letting out low muffled whimpers as he pulsed filled her mouth with his hot load. He got so weak in the knees he almost fell down, but was held up by the finger probing his ass and the mouth that was sucking the cum out of him. As the orgasm subsided, she slid him out of her mouth and held his load on her tongue to show him before swallowing it.

“Next time,” she said while licking up drops of his cum from his shaft, “I want to eat your cum out of Colby’s sweet little pussy.”

“That… was incredible,” Hayden gasped, collapsing back onto the other office chair. Dayton knelt between his knees and licked up the last traces of cum.

“Can’t be too careful, don’t want to send you back smelling like cum,” she giggled. “But remember,” she added, a serious tone in her voice but her mouth still on Hayden’s cock, “if you hurt Colby…”

“I get it I get it,” he assured Dayton, and she kissed the last drop of his cum off of him, stood and sat down in the office chair.

“She’ll be wondering where you are,” Dayton commented, and Hayden realized she was telling him that it was time to leave. He dressed hastily. “Oh and Sam?” Hayden turned to face her.

“That was nice.”

Hayden half walked and half staggered out of the office feeling like things had, when all was said and done, gone rather well for him.