Comments on Episode 6

Jason frequently regaled me with his tales of life in Japan where he had managed to become friendly with many of the leading politicians and media figures with whom he had attended special clubs and parties in which things took place which would make your eyes pop. Jason mentioned a very high up official, who I shall not name, had a particular fetish and should we include an example, it might open doors. Specifically, the person in question guaranteed that he had the power to affect a change in Japanese law that the pixellation of genitalia would end, which meant that ‘The Decameron XXX’ could be shown uncut there, leading to more money for us and possibly future work.

My plan resulted in the first intended action to be entirely cut even though it was not sexual. Now you may remember Xenia’s bravery in taking part in that gangsterbang (a new word which perfectly describes what happened), this time I asked her to push the envelope and take a shit on camera. The idea was that Elio would be asleep resting against the bottom of the tower and the turds would land on him. Of course they would no more be real than the urine which hit his face in the final alternative scene which, thanks to raising the bar in Series 1, passed uncommented.

Nevertheless Xenia agreed! I am not sure what is supposed to be erotic about this, and I certainly do not share the fetish, so we were playing it for comedy. If you do not know Britain, you might be unaware of the phrase ‘toilet humour’ and the degree to which it pervades UK culture from Chaucer onwards. Jane, when news reached her, I suspect from a disgruntled member (I am not saying who I think) of the cast and crew, immediately but the kybosh on it. However we had filmed the actual defecation in full multi-angle HD (the gratuitousness was purely for the benefit of our customer) and Jason was going to deliver it to his friend. Sadly I had no way of rewarding Xenia for her efforts, which I felt bad about as I did not know how long Jason could resist leaking it on the Net.

That is enough shit from me. Before I move on to the cleaner half of the episode, let me tie up the rest of the sunburn story. The skin peeling was really gross and, if it had not been for the part I have been writing about, I would have chickened out and let Jacqui direct the scenes. Until the disfigurement, Xenia looked magnificent but, as I mentioned when commenting on the previous episode, Dione, Eva and the desk took a bit of focus from her. In hindsight I would have liked to have avoided the story and given more space to the tales that followed.

My problem was to fit everything in and while the bath story potentially merited a double episode, the winter/summer tale certainly did not, so I had to find a way of segueing between the two. I was rather pleased with my idea of filming from the thunderstorm into the best sex scenes in all three series. I had so much fun, and despite my jealousy of Ed with Tina (must stop calling her that, she hates it), I would have given anything to swap places with Jason here.

I do not know where all the interracial nonsense comes from in the US. How can something normal for almost everyone else in the western world still be labelled a fetish?! Women are women and while I cannot pretend that I did not choose a black girl, the model Anita Badawi, because of her colour, it was merely because white cum on black skin looks good.

Author's note: Anita resembles http://fyeahnorthafricanwomen.tumblr.com/image/24144796924

The twins were actually from Cyprus and had already appeared in several hardcore videos. People might label this ****, but I call it every man’s dream. After all, the act of twins fucking each other is pretty close to self **** and we all like a bit of that. You might not be surprised that Jason and I teamed up for this pair. Sorry Kate, but the temptation was more than I could stand. Porn stars – no; porn twins – yes!

Let us talk about bath-houses for a minute. Common myth suggests people in the Middle Ages revelled in filth and one bath a year, but in Italy every town had communal bath-houses where people would wash frequently. I find it almost impossible to believe, being a student of human nature, that there was not another aspect to them. People parading around naked was bound to lead to sexual thoughts even amongst the same sex. When I read this tale there was absolutely no chance I was not going to take advantage of this and I believe, because Boccaccio mentions all the ****-girls, that these scenes were exactly what the author intended.

Of course the Brigata had their own bath conveniently just the right size and shape for the ten to sit opposite each other in pairs. Ignoring the logistics of keeping the water at the right temperature and crystal clear so we can witness all that happens below, the scene was set for the start of the next episode. After Christina’s footjob, it should not take a genius to guess what happened next.