Comments on Episode 2

Have I got Controversial Second Episode Syndrome? This time it was not about pissing in mouths or even the slap but the perceived ‘****’ of Ninetta in the story when she was tied up inside the sack. Bearing in mind she was a murderer who was sentenced to **** and not one person complained when she poisoned her husband, this seemed harsh. All of this I tried to argue on TV, but it did not help that I was playing the “****”, of which more later.

Jane Pearce called me back to London and said the neo-feminist element of The Love Party took a very dim view and were hoping they was nothing else that might ask them to pull the programme from the BBC, a request which would surely be fulfilled. I asked her if they would allow the showing of “Straw Dogs” which she did not answer, but did point out that for Ninetta to be smiling at the end, after what happened to her and her sister, was entirely inappropriate.

The story was really good and involved filming in many locations, at which we made extensive use of the publicity opportunities, giving full cast press conferences in France and Greece. There was quite an element of **** in the episode which may have been a bit more than Boccaccio intended although we created a slightly more cheerful ending.

One aspect we thought might receive comment was the **** scenes but, because the probing was more sexual than bruising, any potential complainants were probably sidetracked by other events. 9 (including Kate’s narration) out of the 10 Brigata featured in the conclusion to this opening tale as well as a very special guest, whose appearance and performance I will now explain.

Just before filming, the Spanish porn actor chosen to play the duke withdrew with what he claimed was illness. Whether he began to think of his reputation in the Spanish speaking world if he was seen to mistreat Selena Florez or he was just felt nervous about proper acting I do not know, but sources tell me he was seen on a beach in Marbella while we were filming this episode.

So somebody had to step in and, as I had made my first appearance as a servant in the opening credits, I thought the idea of me playing the part fitted in well and Jacqui could direct. The fact that I had unfinished business with Selena from the previous summer was merely a coincidence … and if you believe that, you will believe anything. I am not sure what she had been up to in the last 12 months, but she managed to take almost my whole length this time without much discomfort and, against Jacqui’s wishes, I came inside her.

How I would have loved to piss on the young Latino, but I did not want to do anything which might affect our relationship so we did that thing with Aria as I knew should would have no qualms about the scene. Needless to say, the props department made some very realistic looking human fluids for Selena to lick off Aria’s bum. The star must however been congratulated for being willing, probably after observing what happened in the first series, to perform a soaking herself. And although, like most people with a sense of taste, I do not particularly like drinking urine, it was still well worth it.