Christina’s Plan in Action: Time to Fuck Annalise

You heft your six pack of Bud Light and flex in your mirror. Damn you look good.

Ready, comes the text from Christina. Annalise is waiting outside the door. Don’t bother with the ****, she’s primed and ready.

It’s all coming together. Christina’s plan for **** is every guy’s dream. You’re going to fuck these two hotties in succession. Who could ask for more?

You step out the door, expecting to see Annalise in her usual skimpy outfit. Instead, you’re treated to the sight of Christina in a conservative grey dress, a serious look on her face.

“Where’s Annalise?” you ask, peeking around her.

Christina’s much too thin to hide an entire human being behind her.

“Patience,” she smiles, the stretch of her lips looking somewhat eerie to you. “Come outside with me and I’ll tell you where she is. This is going to be fun.”

You follow Christina out of East Hall, blinking in the sunlight as the two of you come to a stop outdoors.

“So… what’s the deal?” you ask, looking around. Lots of students mill around the area. They’re talking homework, parties, classes, hook-ups, all as expected. But still no Annalise in sight.

“Annalise went out on a run down the trail by the river,” Christina says matter-of-factly. “We made a bet. If you can catch her, you’ll get to fuck her.” She flashes you a smile. “She has a five minute head start on you, but… I’m sure you can run her down.”

“And then what? You’ll swoop in and steal me away from her?” you ask.

“That’s the idea,” she smiles, though once again, it looks entirely too cold to be genuine.

“Uh… okay,” you say. You look down at your nice shirt and frown. “I can’t run in this. Give me a sec, do you mind holding on to—”

Christina throws a scrunched up ball of white cloth at you that you catch out of instinct.

“Change into this tee,” she says. “It’s Dri-fit. Told you I came prepared.”

You toss your shirt to her and quickly slip on the white shirt, ignoring the sudden peal of laughter from a group of guys behind you. They give you a thumbs up, just as Christina slaps you on the back.

“Come on! What’re you waiting for, no time to lose!” she exclaims. “You’ve got a girl to catch!”

“I’m on it!” you shout as you take off, sprinting across the campus.

The river trail is on the other side of campus. To get there, you need to pass through the heart of campus. But you don’t get far before you start noticing something odd. As you run past a group of ChiO sisters sunning themselves on the quad, you hear loud snickers and derisive snorts, one of them calling out: “Trust no whores!” You ignore them and continue running, your mind set on catching Annalise and bagging her.

Then, two guys wolf-whistle at you from a distance, one of them yelling: “Wear it with pride bro!” You realize as you pass a professor who raises a sharp eyebrow at you that something must be very wrong. You come to an abrupt stop before the anthropology building, looking down to examine your shirt. It looks normal. You search frantically for a sign that something’s wrong. But the shirt’s plain, white, and harmless. Could it be…

“Behind you, pretty boy!” some guy whoops as he jogs by.

You strip off your shirt and turn it around. Your eyes widen.

MANWHORE

The word stares back at you in all its angry red lettering.

What the fuck? Why did Christina do this to you?

You slam on Christina’s door sweaty and bare chested, yelling for her to open up, fully aware of how crazy you look. It takes her a minute to do so. When she does, she gives you that same cold smile that she’s been giving you all afternoon.

“Something the matter?” she asks.

“What the fuck?” you ask her, thrusting the white shirt at her. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t see the problem,” she shrugs, ignoring your arm.

“I ran out there for an hour! Annalise was nowhere to be found. Nowhere on the trail. Nowhere. To. Be. Found,” you yell, giving the door a pound with each word.

Christina nods, saying: “Yeah, she’s in the library studying.”

“So what’s your issue? Why’d you send me out in this wild goose chase wearing this shirt?” you ask, still fuming.

“You fucked Annalise,” she says. “What, you thought I wouldn’t find out? You really thought you’d get to fuck me anyways? Well, you’ve never been more wrong. You’re a fucking bastard and a liar and a manwhore, and now the whole damn campus knows about it.”

With that, she shuts her door in your face. You clutch the white shirt and resist the urge to tear it to shreds.

Christina -100