Choose somebody damned

You decide to take a break, all this babysitting of young, attractive girls has really built up some tension in your pants. You walk back out into the main area of Hell and find it's not so scary anymore, in fact the constant warmth and feeling of being surrounded by many both incredible and disgusting sexual acts really helps feed your creativity. In front of you cobblestone bricks suddenly appear, forming a path across the deep, dark red brimstone which decorates the entirety of Hell, they lead you towards a room with the name Damned Records.

The door swings open as you near it and it slams behind you, the room is huge but empty, a long white carpet leads towards some cobble stone steps, and huge black candelabra's spit fire high into the air as you walk by them. At the top of the steps is a small altar, with a book on top of it titled Names of the Damned. You open it and find it to be very much like a yellow pages, a long list of names. You wonder how things work and pick a name at random by pressing your finger against it. Suddenly the book vanishes, and a man appears before you.

"Hi Lenny" you say casually, leaning against the altar. He looks up at you with fear in his eyes, "don't worry, just testing." you say as you press his name again, and Lenny vanishes back into the abyss, the book returning to it's rightful place.

You smile as you look down at the names in front of you, all of which are people you know in one way or another.. this could be fun.