Check out the computer

Having access to everyone's most personal records is just too good of an opportunity to pass up. A few clicks of the keyboard, a you are looking at some information a lot of people would pay good money to see. For that matter, there are a lot of things people would do to stop anyone else from knowing these tidbits.

You see, for example, the pregnancy scare that the editor of the school newspaper had last year, and two potential fathers were listed -- one of them being a professor!

You are also perusing a list of recipients of medications to treat sexually transmitted diseases. Interestingly, about a dozen received treatment at the same time for the same thing. A little sleuthing shows that they all attended the same party last fall, when things got a bit out of control.

A thought starts to develop, and out of curiosity you exit the medical database and look to see what else you can access from this computer. To your delight, you see that you also have access to other key sites within the school's administration. From here, you can change room assignments, class schedules, and even grades.

You lament that you didn’t have access to all of this from the start; your scheme to have Sarah assigned as your suitemate seems crude and juvenile in comparison to what you could have done from here!

As you explore the database, you wonder about something. You pull up Sarah's medical record and find the specific diagnosis for her condition. "Sluttiness" wasn't showing up as a term the computer recognized. You find the term "acute nymphomania" in her record and do another search. This time it brings up several names of others in the campus community — students, faculty, and staff — who share that diagnosis.

With so many members of the campus community dealing with nymphomania, you are curious about how the condition is treated. You see that the nurse has discretion to assign medication, mandate counseling, rearrange housing assignments, or just about anything she deems appropriate to help students and staff cope with the challenges of being part of the educational community without becoming totally consumed by the desire to act out on sexual compulsions.

You think about this as you return to your assignment of alphabetizing the forms. When Nurse Mileu enters to check on you, she looks exhausted, but she is more than pleased with your progress and offers you the job on the spot.

You suppress a smile as you start to think about how to use this to your advantage.