Charmander defends your honor

You take one more look at the man who may be the next person to lay claim to your body as his personal prize.

Everything about him, from his sweaty armpits and spotty face, to his long, greasy hair and dirty clothes makes him feel extremely undesirable as a sexual partner. At least he only has one Pokeball on his waist. A one-versus-one fight against your Charmander means he has a chance of winning.

FLASH

The nerd takes a photo of you with his phone. You instinctively cover your cleavage with self-consciousness, but of course it's too late, he's already got his photo.

"I've, um, not seen you around here before. Are you... err... new to the area?" He asks awkwardly.

"Yes." You say truthfully, still feeling defensive. "Wait... You've never seen me at all?"

"No." He shakes his head and shrugs. "Pretty sure."

"Not even in any videos your friends have sent you?" You ask, with hope.

"I don't really have any friends." He says, sounding sad.

Now you just feel sorry for him. Maybe he's not a bad guy, just lonely, because of his nerdy personality and body odor.

"Um, so, do you have any useable Pokemon? Or can we get straight to, um, the... err... the naughty bit?" He asks hopefully.

You don't feel sorry for him any more.

"Not so fast, bucko. You're not laying a finger on me if my Charmander has anything to say about it. Go, Charmander!"

"Char Char!" The lizard Pokemon launches out of his Pokeball stands loyally in between you and the gross nerd.

"Oh, um, okay." He gently takes his own Pokeball from his belt, and pathetically tosses it forwards. His grip is so poor that it travels hardly any distance away from him.

"Come on out, Simon." He says gently.

You've never heard of a Pokemon called a Simon.

And then, suddenly in between your Charmander and the nerd, is a large round pink thing with a long tongue.

"Is that... A Lickitung?!" You gasp. "Aren't those, like, really rare?!"

"My dad caught one in the Safari Zone in Fuschia for me when I was a little kid." The nerd explains warmly. "We've been best buddies ever since. His name is Simon."

Of course a nerd with no friends would name his only Pokemon a human name.

"Simon, use Lick!" He calls to his Pokemon, but not energetically.

Oh shit. The battle for my body has begun, and I'm standing here like an idiot.

"Charmander, use Ember! Focus on his tongue!" You shout, your instinct driving your instructions.

The little bullets of fire smack into the approaching tongue, causing Lickitung... Simon... To grunt with pain and withdraw his tongue. Yes! You had an instinct that its tongue would be too sensitive to endure that attack!

"Oh, okay. That was mean. Simon, Disable."

A sudden sparkle of light appears in Lickitung's eye, and then your Charmander shudders. You frown. If that really was successful, and Charmander's ember is disabled, you might be in trouble here. But there's only one way to find out.

"Charmander, Ember!" You call.

"Ch-ch-char..." Charmander just shudders.

Oh shit.

"Okay Simon, use lick now."

"Charmander, scratch the tongue!" You call, but you already can sense it won't work as intended.

Your instinct proves correct once again, and you watch as the tongue extends, and then dodges to the side of Charmander's claw, and then strikes him in the face.

Charmander shivers and falls over forwards, looking completely exhausted, and paralyzed.

"Wait... FROM ONE LICK?!" You squeal in shock, looking at your defeated Charmander on the ground.

"Simon and I practice Lick every day. Have done since the day I turned 18." The nerd explains. "I practice too. In case I ever find a pretty girl who wants me to... you know... use 'lick' on her." He's practically salivating. You shudder as it dawns on you that until he's satisfied, this disgusting young man now owns you. Being a female Pokemon trainer can really suck.

"I want to be abundantly clear, I don't want your tongue anywhere near me." You spit, defiantly, as you recall your defeated Charmander. "**** me if you must, but I'm not going to pretend I want it."

"Okay." He says simply, as he recalls his Lickitung. "I won't do that. I want to save that for someone who wants it, anyway."

Your eyes brighten. "You won't?" Perhaps he really isn't that bad after all.

"I won't lick you." He clarifies. "I'll just fuck your brains out, and leave it at that."