Chapter 5

*Trigger Warning: This chapter includes themes of homophobia and the use of homophobic slurs*

The next couple of days were shrouded in a depressing pall as we did our best to comfort and support Ash as he slowly recovered from what had happened to him with many ups and downs along the way. For the first day after the incident he barely left our bedroom, Mum bringing us up meals, drinks and anything else on a tray. He didn’t seem to want to eat anything, however much I implored him, although he did have some toast before bed which I took as a promising sign. I was by his side constantly as he clung to me like a security blanket, even trips to the bathroom having to be accompanied at first as if he was afraid Sheila was going to jump out from a cupboard and start hurling **** at him again. At one point, only a few hours after she had left, I tried going downstairs to get him a drink but as soon as I rose from the bed he reached out to grab my arm. As I looked back at him his eyes were filled with fear, tears brimming up and threatening to spill over. “Please, don’t leave me,” he begged, making my heart break as I saw this wonderful person put through so much undeserved pain. I smiled softly, climbing back onto the bed with him and softly stroking his hair to try and comfort him.

“It’s okay baby, I’ll never leave you, I promise,” I cooed softly as I tried to sooth him.

“Really?” he asked between soft sobs.

“Really Ash,” I replied certainly, leaning forward to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead as I stroked his hair, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he replied as I held him tight, wishing I had the power to go back in time and stop what had happened to him. He started to open up a little more the next day, it was slow, but he took small steps, gradually coming out of his shell as I did my best to be patient and understanding. Sadness was with him in every moment, his mothers words ricocheting around his mind like a cancer, poisoning him and causing him to even question what he was doing with his life. It scared me seeing him like this and it made me wonder how we would have coped if he didn’t have the loving support network of myself and my parents to take care of him. It didn’t bear thinking about.

Finally on the third day he seemed to be feeling much better and he came downstairs to join us for breakfast. Mum was overjoyed, giving him a big cuddle and smothering his face with kisses, the relief she was feeling obvious to us all. Me and Dad virtually had to pry her off him and she apologised for being overzealous, but Ash quickly put her fears to rest by giving her another quick hug of thanks. We sat down to eat and thankfully we were able to talk pretty normally, Dad talking about work and Mum telling us about a new garden centre that had just opened up on the outskirts of town. Apparently there was a cafe attached that did luxurious afternoon teas and she suggested that we could all go together, once Ash was feeling up to it of course. We all looked over at him as he pondered, considering whether he was ready to step out of that big, scary front door and into the wider world. The world that had dealt him such a harsh hand, one he had been battling to overcome ever since. “That sounds really nice Pippa,” he replied with a soft smile, “maybe we could go tomorrow?” he suggested cautiously.

“Tomorrow sounds fine to me, what do you think boys?” she asked, turning to myself and Dad as we both nodded our approval enthusiastically, my hand placed on Ashley’s thigh under the table to give him an encouraging squeeze.

“It’ll be nice to get out of the house,” Ash added quietly, looking down at his hands, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to put up with me for the last few days,” he added sadly.

My Mum responded, quick as a flash, “You don’t need to apologise sweetheart,” she explained, “you are family and we will always be here for you, no matter what.”

“Mum’s right baby,” I added, “we all love you so much.”

“Damn right,” Dad added, a single tear rolling down his cheek in a rare moment of emotion. He reached out and took Ash’ hand as he continued, “You're like a son to me Ash, you really are...” I could tell he wanted to say more, but he was too choked up to continue, Ash squeezing his hand and thanking him for his words, knowing how hard it must have been for him.

“I’m glad that the two of you are better parents than my real ones,” Ash said, smiling happily at them both as we all shared this moment together. It was nice, peaceful and quiet, interrupted by the sound of Dad’s stomach grumbling. We all laughed together at it's demands for food.

“I guess someone thinks we should have something to eat” he chuckled as he grabbed a box of cereal and started to pour it into his bowl. “Can you pass me the milk Bruce?” he asked and just as I was picking up the carton from the table we heard a knock at the door. All four of us turned in unison to look in the direction of the hallway, remembering what had happened just a couple of days earlier.

“I’ll get it,” Ash said cheerily, getting up from his seat, reasoning that “it's probably just the postman!” As I watched him leaving I felt a pit form in my stomach, a warning that something bad was about to happen, a sixth sense of some kind kicking in, warning me of dangee. I rose from the table without even thinking as I heard my lover open the door, followed by his pained and confused voice floating down the hall.

“What are you doing here, Mum?” he said, his voice quivering, sounding like he was about to burst into tears.

In a flash I darted towards the dining room door and out into the hallway, striding towards the door and more importantly, my boyfriend. As I got closer to the door I was surprised to see Sheila was looking clean and sober, wearing a plain blue dress and a pair of weathered tennis shoes. Her eyes were still distant and haunted, coloured by years of abusing her body and mind with **** and other substances, but she almost looked like an entirely different woman to the one that had burst into our bedroom just three days earlier. As much as my mind was screaming at me to push her away and slam the door in her face I remembered Dad's words, instead standing behind Ash. I gently took his hand in mine to let him know I was there, allowing him the chance to deal with this himself before I intervened. Apparently I had gotten to the door so quickly that Sheila hadn’t been able to respond and so Ashley took a deep breath and repeated himself.

“Mum,” his voice wavered, “why are you here?”

She looked at her son, then at me, then to the floor before speaking. “I wanted to apologise, to you both,” she said at a volume barely louder than a whisper

“What?” Ash asked in disbelief.

“I wanted to apologise,” she repeated, “for what happened the other day.”

“You mean when you burst into our room and called us faggots?” I interrupted, unable to hold down my anger for a second longer. She physically recoiled at the word, a hint of regret flashing across her face as she was reminded of what she had done and what she had said.

“Yes…, yes, for that…” she added weakly. “Please son, could I come in, so we can talk properly?”

Ash turned to look at me, unsure of what to do. “It’s up to you Ash,” I said encouragingly, giving his hand a squeeze and waiting to see what he would decide.

“Okay, you can come in,” Ash replied, “But on one condition. I want you to say sorry to Pippa and Neil too.”

“I… I can do that,” Sheila said with a meek smile on her face, looking shocked to have been granted her request. I couldn’t deny it had surprised me too. After everything this woman had put Ash through, he was still giving her a chance. I pondered whether I could do the same if I was in his shoes? Familial bonds are strong and hard to break, even in situations like Ash’. It was clear he had always wanted his mothers love, giving her chance after chance after chance despite always being let down and broken by her selfish ways. Sometimes I just wanted to shake him and tell him to cut her out of his life completely, but I knew it was his decision to make and that it was my job to respect that decision and support him regardless, even if it blew up in his face in the end. He allowed her inside the house and we made our way down the hallway and towards the living room. Mum and Dad were both standing in the dining room door, looking on as we approached them, Mum looking concerned whereas Dad was on high alert, ready to step in and intervene if needed.

“Do you mind if we talk with Sheila in the living room, Pippa?” he asked softly, pleading with her with his eyes, knowing she had every right to refuse after his Mother's last unannounced appearance and the turmoil it had caused.

Mum looked uncertain, but before she could answer, Sheila spoke up. “Neil, Pippa, I’m really sorry for bursting in here the other day. I know I shouldn’t have done it and if I was sober I would have never dreamed of doing something like that. The booze, it just makes me into a different person. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, finally sober for the first time in weeks and I didn’t even recognise myself” She looked down at the floor, seemingly ashamed of her behavior as tears formed in her eyes. “I promise you both that it’ll never happen again,” she said sincerely, raising her gaze to look them both in the eye. Mum still seemed unsure as she looked at Dad for his reaction before responding.

“It’s okay Sheila, we understand that addictions can be very hard to deal with and we appreciate your apology, but if anything like that did happen again, we would have to call the police, do you understand?”

Sheila nodded to confirm that she did, although I was skeptical whether any threat could really work on her. She seemed contrite and apologetic, but I had known her too long to entirely buy it and I suspected Mum and Dad felt the same. Would she be able to convince Ash though? That was the question.

“You’re welcome to talk in the front room, make yourself at home Sheila,” Mum said kindly before taking Dad’s arm. “We’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything, okay boys?” She gave us both a reassuring look before turning towards the back of the house, Dad following close behind her. As he turned Dad flashed me a look as if to remind me of what we had talked about a couple of days earlier. I needed to keep my anger in check, even when I was face to face with the cause of the pain my boyfriend was going through. I gave him an understanding nod before following Ash and Sheila into the front room. We took our places, myself and Ash on the big sofa and Sheila on the smaller one across the room. My instinct was to go on the offensive, giving her a real piece of my mind. How dare she invade our private space? How dare she insult us? Worst of all, how dare she hurt the man I love more than anything else on this messed up, confusing, and frequently violent planet? As much as I wanted to protect Ash, I knew that this was his battle to fight and ultimately his decision to make. My job was to support him, whatever the outcome and as we all sat awkwardly, tension hanging in the air I softly rubbed Ashleys back to try and help him stay calm.

“So, you were saying that you wanted to apologise?” Ash asked meekly, unable to even look at his mother as she sat across the room from him nervously wringing her hands in her lap.

“Yes, I do…,” she replied before trailing off, seemingly unsure of what to say next.

“Go on then,” I interjected firmly, still fighting the urge to explode on her.

“I don’t want you to think I’m making excuses,” she started, my eyes rolling upwards as I waited to hear how she was going to justify her actions this time, “but I had actually been clean for a couple of months, up until a couple of weeks ago,” she explained.

“Well that’s good,” Ash said softly, trying to encourage her, “so what went wrong?”

“My boyfriend, Dave, dumped me,” she explained, “because I wouldn’t give him money for ****.”

“Doesn’t that sound familiar?” I asked sarcastically, shooting Sheila a dirty look and remembering all the times she had come to Ash begging for cash to fuel her drink habit. She looked hurt by my comment, but took it in her stride, clearly realising that she had no right to protest.

“That’s fair,” she admitted before continuing, “I got really depressed and started drinking again. I was on a five day bender and I don’t even remember what happened before I got here. I can’t believe what I said to you Ashley, to you both,” she added as she looked over at me, still stone faced and unimpressed by her apology. “I just need some help to get back on my feet,” she explained, “I’ve been staying in a shelter lately, but if you can help me out I could try and get a deposit together for my own flat” she explained, her voice quickening as she finally got to the real reason she had come to visit her estranged child.

“Well, how much would you need for a deposit?” Ash asked apprehensively as he held my hand, squeezing it a little tighter as I felt his little body tensing up next to me.

“I think five hundred pounds would be enough,” she explained excitedly, “then once I’m in my own place I can find a job and pay you back! I already have a couple of interviews lined up and a flat I’m looking at.” She looked at her son expectantly, hope sparkling in her eyes as she awaited his response. My immediate reaction was that she was still lying. I didn’t know what exactly she needed the money for, but I didn’t believe for a second that she was trying to get her life back on track, this was just another trick to take advantage of her son and milk him for everything he was worth. I looked to Ash, who was deep in thought. I could see the internal battle within, the young boy that still wanted the love of his mother fighting with the man that knew how many times he had been deceived by her in the past.

Finally, he spoke. “I need to have a think about this,” he explained, “ would you mind giving us a few minutes alone Mum?”

She was quick to comply, standing up from her seat and reaching into her coat pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “Of course Ashy,” she said warmly, using her pet name for him, another manipulative tactic that she had used to great success in the past. “I’ll just go and have a smoke outside and you can come and fetch her whenever you’re ready!” She walked across the room so she was standing in front of Ash, reaching out her hand and softly stroking his cheek affectionately. “Thank you for hearing me out,” she said softly, before leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. Ash looked a little uncomfortable, but I could tell there was a part of him that was loving this, finally receiving the maternal affection he had missed out on for virtually his whole life. She gave him a big smile, glancing at me before making her way outside, closing the front room door behind her and leaving the two of us.

“What do you think baby?” Ash asked nervously as he turned to me, crossing his legs on the sofa so we were facing each other and taking both of my hands in his.

“Do you really want to know?” I asked apprehensively, still wary of how sensitive of an issue this was for my partner and not sure if he was ready to hear my blunt feelings on the matter.

“Don’t hold back,” Ash said confidently, stroking my cheek softly to thank me for my concern as he waited for me to speak.

“She’s a habitual liar baby,” I explained softly, “how many times has she done this? Coming to you with some tall tale about getting her life back on track and being a proper mum, if only you’ll give her some money?”

“More times than I can count,” Ashley admitted sadly.

“And how many times has she stuck to her word?”

“None,” Ash added, a tear welling up in his eye as he thought back on the years of lies and heartbreaks he’d had to suffer through.

“Look sweetheart,” I said as I held his hands tightly, “It’s your decision to make. I know that she’s your Mum and it's hard to say no to her but whatever happens, I’ll have your back, okay?”

“Okay,” Ash replied, smiling and taking some time to consider his options. “I think I’ll give her the money.” He looked at me, seeing a flash of disappointment on my face that I quickly tried to cover up.

“You think I’m stupid, don’t you?” Ash asked mournfully, looking down to the floor. I reached out to take his face and turn it towards me, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

“No, I don’t think you’re stupid,” I explained, “you have a big heart and you always try to see the best in people. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much, but also why I need to protect you, because there are bad people out there who will take advantage of your kindness and I can’t allow that.” Ash smiled for the first time since his Mum had arrived, leaning forwards to kiss me softly, hands on my cheeks as we made out quietly. Once our lips parted we stared deep into each other's eyes, our love strengthened by the fires of hardship to make us more infatuated than before.

“Thank you for taking care of me Daddy,” he whispered quietly as we savoured the quiet moment and enjoyed each other's presence.

“Do you want me to go and get her?” I asked, “let her know you’ve made up your mind?”

“That would be great, thanks Bruce,” Ashley replied, allowing my hands to slip from his as I stood up to go and retrieve Sheila. I still thought this was a bad idea that would lead to Ashley being hurt, but this was his choice to make, not mine, and I needed to respect that. After putting on my shoes in the hallway I went outside to look for Sheila but found the front garden empty. I checked by the garage at the side of the house and she wasn’t there either. Exiting the front gate I looked up and down the street, but there was no sign of her. She surely hadn’t left while waiting for Ash to make his decision, had she? Mildly annoyed, I started to walk down the street to look for her. There was no sign of Sheila until I noticed a plume of smoke billowing from one of the back streets that criss-crossed between all the houses. It must be her, I reasoned and so I started to head towards it. As I neared the source of the smoke, I heard Sheila’s voice as she talked to someone on the phone, only able to overhear her side of the conversation. Something in my gut told me not to round the corner and to eavesdrop instead and so I pressed myself flat against the wall to listen in to what she was saying.

“Yeah, I asked him for the money and he said he needs to make up his mind.”

“No Dave, I don’t know how long it's going to take, but I think I did a good job of convincing him that I’m really sorry.”

“Listen, tell your dealer that I’m working on it and he’ll have his money by the end of the day, okay?”

“There’s no need to shout, I’m doing the best I can! You should be grateful that I’m even here, you know how much I hate queers. I can’t believe my own son ended up being a shirt lifter. It’s probably that Bruce’s fault, I never liked him, always thought there was something wrong with him, now at least I know I was right, the disgusting little poofter!”

My fists were clenched tight, knuckles white, face burning red as the rage burned inside me. My instincts were right all along, she wasn’t sorry for what she did, not in the slightest. She just wanted to make a withdrawal from the ‘Bank of Ash’ once again, passing on her problems caused by her own irresponsible nature to her son. I was tempted to go round the corner, confronting and threatening her to stay away from Me, Ash and my family forever right then and there, but a calm, soothing voice in my head stopped me, a voice that I eventually realised belonged to my Father. Maybe this was what Ash needed to get past this I reasoned, to finally put Sheila in his rear view and never look back. He needed to know what she had said so that he could finally see her for the manipulative bitch that she is. I quickly glanced around the corner to see her pulling out another cig from the packet with her back turned to me, discarding the empty cardboard packet onto the floor as she lit up another of the slender white tubes. It seemed like she was going to be busy smoking on the phone for a while, so it was time to go and break the bad news to Ash. I hated having to be the one to tell him, but it would be for the best in the long run. With a heavy heart, I trudged my way back down the street and back into my childhood home. Before I’d had time to work out what I was going to say I found myself standing outside the living room door. I took a deep breath, firm in my resolve, before heading inside.

Ash instantly turned to look at me as he heard me enter, a confused expression on his face as he wondered why his Mum wasn’t with me. I walked over and took a seat next to him, reaching out for his hands and preparing myself to tell him what had happened. “Where’s Sheila?” he asked, pain already in his voice as he feared the worst.

“She’s still smoking outside,” I said with a sigh, “and she was on the phone when I went to go and find her.”

“Oh?” Ash replied, still looking confused.

“I overheard her talking to someone.” I added, looking away, unable to meet Ash’ gaze as I prepared to break his heart.

“Who?” he asked, squirming in his seat uncomfortably as he waited to hear why I was so clearly on edge.

“Dave. Her supposed ‘ex.’ It sounds like he owes money to a **** dealer and that's why she wants that £500 from you, not because she’s trying to find a house.” Within a matter of seconds the tears had already started to flow from his beautiful face, shattering me from the inside out as I was **** to see him in pain again. I had debated whether to tell him about her comments about our relationship, but he was going to suffer enough, it just seemed unnecessary to hurt him even more. Ash clung to my chest as he cried, trying to process what I had told him. He would later tell me that he was barely even surprised to find out she had been using him and that was the thing that hurt the most, that part of him had expected it.

After a couple of minutes of doing my best to comfort Ashley we heard a knock at the door. Sheila was back, she must have finished her cigarette. Ash pulled his face from the warm safety of my torso and wiped away his tears, a determined look on his face. “What do you want to do baby?” I asked him calmly, waiting to see what he would do next.

“Come with me,” he said as he stood up, cheeks still damp with tears as he led me by the hand to the front door. “Pippa! Neil!” Ash shouted over his shoulder once we reached the hallway, waiting for them to join us from the kitchen before opening the door. My parents emerged from the rear of the house, giving us both a supportive but unsure grin as they both wondered what was going on. I put my arm around my boyfriend's shoulder and he pulled the door open. Sheila stood there with her most innocent, angelic look on her face, a thin mask of lies that attempted to cover up the terrible person she was beneath.

“Hi Ashy,” she said, once again using his pet name to try and curry some favour, “so did you have a chance to think? Do you think you can lend me the money?” she asked as she tried to take a step inside the house. My parents' eyebrows shot up as they heard she had asked for money, seemingly just as skeptical as I was about Sheila’s visit. Ash stood in front of her, blocking her path as a look of anger crossed her face. “What are you doing Ash?” she asked as she stepped back outside, her voice rising as she realised things weren’t playing out the way they wanted them to.

“I’m not going to give you any money,” Ash said while holding onto my arm for support. “Bruce heard you talking to Dave on the phone,” he explained, “I thought you said that the two of you broke up?” he asked with a raised, accusing eyebrow. His Mum scrambled to make excuses, claiming that they’d just gotten back together, that they were going to be moving in together etc, etc, but Ash didn’t want to hear it and so he interrupted, speaking firmly and defiantly. “You know what Sheila, I think I’ve heard enough of your excuses to last a lifetime. We’re done.”

“What do you mean?” she asked in a bewildered voice, apparently unable to comprehend what her son was saying.

“You’ve never been a real mother to me, have you Sheila?” Ash asked. “I was always just a way to get money or booze. You always put your boyfriends before me, let me go hungry, left me walking around in old, tatty clothes that were barely held together. Well, I’ve had enough. I’m in love with Bruce. He is my boyfriend and he takes care of me better than you ever did.”

“How dare you speak to me like thi…” Sheila tried to interrupt, but Ash wasn’t stopping now.

“Pippa and Neil took me in when you abandoned me,” he said, turning to point at them, “they’re real parents, they love me, they support me, they care about me. Unlike you.” Mum’s face lit up as she heard Ashleys words, a tear forming in her eye and Dad looked pretty chuffed too, giving him a nod of support and pride. As we turned back to her Sheila actually looked upset at her son's words, the first time I’d ever seen any kind of remorse from her, but at this point, it was too late for apologies. “I don’t want to ever see or hear from you again Sheila and if you come here again, we will call the police and report what you did as a hate crime, do you understand?” Ash said firmly, mustering up every ounce of internal strength he had to go ahead with what needed to be done.

Sheila stood there staring at him blankly, thoughts whirling in her mind until finally her cheeks turned red, mouth twisting into a venomous scowl as she dropped the act and let her true colours show. “You ungrateful little shit!” she spat out, “I’m your mother and I always will be, who do you think you are? You think because your boyfriend told you you’re special that you are? You’ll never amount to anything Ashley, you’re just a dirty, disgusting little gayboy and I should have gotten rid of you when I found out I was pregnant!”

We had heard enough, myself, Mum and Dad all grouping round Ash at the front door to make it clear he had us behind him. “You heard what Ashley said,” Dad said in a deep, rumbling voice, “he wants nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah,” I added, “now leave before we call the police!”

Sheila looked to my Mum, trying to appeal to a fellow matriarch, but despite my Mum’s usual cheery demeanor, the look on her face said that she wasn’t messing around and she stepped forwards until she was face to face with her. “You are no mother Sheila, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of Ash like you never could, now get out of here.”

Sheila looked taken aback, in a state of disbelief that her son had finally stood up to her. We had formed a protective barrier around Ash, one that she couldn’t break through, fuelled by his own strength and determination to sever a bond that had been like a noose around his neck for decades. As she turned on her heels to leave, muttering obscenities and insults as she went, I turned to look at Ash, realizing that I had never been more proud of him in my entire life. He stood still as a statue, watching her retreat, holding himself firm and resolute until she fell from our sight, off to corrupt someone else's lives for a change. Once she was gone, he turned to us, looking physically weak, drained and a little pale, but most of all happy, giving us all a smile of thanks and all three of us reached out to embrace him as a family.

“You know we meant what we said don’t you Ashley?” Mum asked tearily as we released our hug, “You are a part of this family and always will be, okay?”

“Yeah,” Dad added, “we’ll look out for you now, you don’t need to worry.”

My arm was still wrapped around Ash’ shoulders and I gave him a squeeze. “You’ve got all the love you could ever need, right here,” I explained warmly, so grateful to have my parents in my life.

“Thank you all,” Ash replied happily, wiping away a couple of stray tears with his fingers, “but this was all a lot. I think I might need to go and have a lie down by myself though for a little bit, if that's okay?”

“Of course it is sweetie,” Mum said, “do you want us to come and get you up later on?”

“No, that's okay,” Ash said in response, “I’ll come down once I wake up.” Mum and Dad both congratulated him before making themselves scarce, leaving me and Ashley alone as he pulled me into a gentle kiss, both arms wrapped around my back as he leant up on his tiptoes to meet my lips. “Thank you for always keeping me safe and looking out for me Bruce,” he whispered, “I’m the luckiest boy in the world and I love you so much.”

“I love you too Ash,” I replied with our foreheads pressed together as we stared into each other's eyes, “now go and get some rest baby.”

“I will Daddy,” he whispered softly, reluctantly letting me go before turning to head up to our room.

I watched Ash make his way upstairs, waiting to hear the sound of our bedroom door closing before joining Mum and Dad in the living room. We talked for a while about everything that had gone on before I helped Mum to prepare us some lunch. Ash still wasn’t awake by the time the food was ready and so the three of us tucked in, leaving some food to one side for him to be eaten when he woke up. After lunch the TV went on as me and Dad watched a football game while Mum read quietly in the corner of the room, only occasionally raising her gaze when me or Dad got particularly noisy. She was more than used to our exuberance when watching the beautiful game, but she was still more than happy to keep us in check if we were getting a little too rambunctious. I found myself glancing upwards throughout the day, looking at the ceiling above which my baby was sleeping. I wanted to go and see him, but he needed his time alone and to get some rest and so I just hoped he was sleeping peacefully with nice dreams instead of nightmares to keep him company.

The day stretched on and I once again found myself in the kitchen helping Mum to prepare food when Ash entered the room, stretching and yawning but looking refreshed, the colour back in his cheeks after the traumatic experience he’d gone through earlier in the day.

“Hey babe!” I said happily, dropping a bowl into the water in the sink and quickly drying my hands so I could go to him and give him a big cuddle. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, pretty well thanks,” he replied with a smile, “I really needed a rest.”

“Well, you’ve had a hard couple of days sweetheart,” Mum reasoned, “take a seat and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea!” she offered and Ash did as he was told, laughing and joking with us as we worked. It was nice seeing him back to his old self, the more confident boy I had come to know over the past few months, although it would surely take him a while to fully get over what had happened. While finally cutting his Mother from his life had been painful, I was confident that it would be better for him in the long run and that if Sheila did come back, he’d have the three of us to watch out for him and make sure that she couldn’t hurt him any more.

We spent the rest of the day enjoying our meal together, the dark fog of Sheila having finally dissipated from the house and allowing us to enjoy ourselves again. We didn’t feel the need to talk about what had happened, all of us just glad to see Ash finally moving forwards with his life with us behind him every step of the way. After tea Mum bust out a classic board game and we spent the evening rolling dice, scoring points, talking and laughing. It was a great ending to a day that had started off so badly, but unbeknownst to me, things were only going to get better once we made our way up to bed.

Ash wasn’t tired due to his long nap earlier in the day and so I got out my laptop and booted up his favourite streaming app. We got comfortable under the covers, spooning together as he watched the latest anime he was obsessed with. It was more his thing than mine, but I couldn’t deny that most of his shows ended up growing on me over time as I watched so many episodes with him. His small frame nestled in the safety of my arms felt amazing and we relaxed together watching episode after episode until the wee hours of the morning. Turning to check the bedside table alarm clock I realised that it was nearly two in the morning, letting out a long yawn as I fought the urge to fall asleep. Ash turned to look at me, his sweet little face begging to be covered in kisses.

“Don’t stay up on my account Bruce, get some sleep if you want,” he offered sweetly, but an idea had formed in my mind earlier that evening and now that Mum and Dad were definitely asleep, it was finally time for action.

“Well, before I do, I thought you deserved a reward for how strong and brave you were today,” I whispered softly into his ear as I continued to spoon him. My hand slid down his chest and to his crotch where I found his cute little cock, small and soft but quickly swelling at my touch, a barely audible moan disturbing the quiet night air as I stroked him.

“What did you have in mind D… Daddy?” he asked breathlessly as my fingers squeezed his prick to make sure he was as hard as possible for what I had in mind. I didn’t reply, instead sliding under the covers and kissing down his torso until my lips met his swollen tip. Sucking him into my mouth I savoured the taste before slowly pleasuring him with my lips. My mouth was quickly full of saliva, which I used liberally to coat my lover's member, flicking his frenulum with my tongue, swirling it around his head and taking him all the way inside. I could feel him shaking and trembling underneath me, reaching up to pinch his hard nipples, each whine and moan that passed his lips fuelling me further, desire rising by the second. He still wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of this kind of pleasure and I could feel him rapidly approaching climax, but I wasn’t finished with him yet and so I withdrew my mouth from his phallus, pulling myself up until my head was peeking out from under the duvet, allowing me to meet the gaze of the man I loved.

“I’m so proud of you for standing up to her baby,” I whispered as I gently stroked his hair, “it must have been really hard for you,” I reasoned.

“It was Bruce,” he replied, “I don’t know if I would have been able to do it without you.”

“That's very sweet of you to say baby,” I answered warmly, giving Ash a deep kiss as the passion between us overflowed, “but this is all about you.” I climbed out of the bed, reaching into my suitcase to find the small bottle of lube we had packed. After rooting around for a while, I found it, pulling it out with a satisfied smile. Without even thinking Ash had picked himself off the bed, getting onto all fours to present his peachy arse and tight little hole to me. I licked my lips, tempted to change my plan and slide inside him, but I resisted, instead taking up position on my back on the bed. Ash turned to look at me, confused, until I handed him the bottle. “Lube me up baby.”

“You mean?” Ash asked in disbelief.

“It’s time,” I said confidently, “just go gentle on me okay handsome?”

“Oh, I will!” Ash replied ecstatically, climbing on top of me so he could kiss me hungrily. He’d always been the bottom in our relationship, but today that was going to change. I couldn’t deny, the idea of having him inside me was intimidating, even with his small size. I’d never played with myself like that and so I truly was a virgin when it came to being penetrated. Ash had trusted me to take care of him for months and so it was only fair that I let him try having sex with me. I might not end up liking it, but I wanted to try.. I knew how much it would mean to him to finally be connected in this way and as our lips parted he focused on what was about to happen.

He squeezed out a glob of the clear lubricant onto his fingers, pressing it against my virgin hole and slowly rubbing, making sure I was well covered and ready to be taken for the first time. The cold gel pressing against me made me shiver and shake. It felt good, I could only hope that having inside of me would feel the same, or maybe even better? One of his digits pressed against my opening and quickly slid inside me thanks to the lube and the sensation was incredible. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before, flashes of colour dancing in my vision as my sphincter squeezed against him, a guttural moan exploding from my lungs as my legs gently shook. I felt so ****, on my back, legs spread, Ash’ fingers slowly stretching me out, but despite this, I felt completely safe with him as I held onto his arm and watched him finger me slowly, preparing me for what was to come. He leaned down to kiss me softly and we moaned into each other's mouths as I rode the hitherto unknown pleasure of having my prostate massaged by his slender little digit. My cock was semi-hard, laying on top of my stomach and twitching and shifting as Ash delved deeper and deeper into my most special place, exploring my insides as fire burned in his eyes. He looked up at me as his finger finally sunk knuckle deep in my arse, causing my eyes to close as my back arched and an unexpected whine shot up from deep inside my lungs. God, I sounded so **** and needy I could hardly believe it. It was certainly a big change being in this position but maybe I was finally starting to understand why Ash liked being submissive so much?

“Are you ready Daddy?” I heard him whisper slowly, opening my eyes to gaze at him lovingly.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I replied through gritted teeth as I felt his slender digit slide out of me with a satisfying pop, my hole feeling empty without him inside me. I watched Ash grab the lube again, pouring some onto his cock and slowly massaging it along his length before lining up between my legs.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked hesitantly, cock hovering mere inches away from my back entrance, tantalisingly close to splitting me open and popping my cherry. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Ash added, “I really appreciate you offering, but I know it’s not your usual…” I leant up from the bed, putting my finger on his soft lips to quieten him.

“I’m sure baby,” I replied earnestly, “I want us to be as close as possible, to share everything together and I need to feel you inside me for that to happen,” I explained. “Now go nice and slow,” I instructed, “and I’ll tell you if I need you to stop.

“Okay Bruce,” Ash replied, a look of nervousness on his face as he shuffled closer to me on his knees until his head pressed against my entrance. The sensation made us both shudder, the lube making everything slick and slippery and Ashley even started teasing me by pressing his head repeatedly against my opening, threatening to push inside at any moment. I bit my lip with frustration, head rocking back and rolling my eyes as I waited to feel him inside me for the first time.

“Stop teasing me…, please” I said in an annoyed voice as I looked up at him, but he just flashed me back a cheeky grin before leaning down next to my ear.

“That’s a bit rich Daddy, considering all the teasing you’ve put me through since that first time on the sofa back at our flat, but maybe you’re right” he whispered, his words making me shudder, goosebumps spreading all over my body as my hairs stood on end. There was electricity in the air, an undeniable tension that was increasing with each passing moment, threatening to overflow at any second. We both knew this was a big step for us, something that would change our relationship forever, but we were both ready for it, the time had arrived.

I reached out to take Ash’ hand, our fingers interlacing as we shared a soft smile, communicating that I was ready without words. Using his hand to guide himself Ash pressed his cock against my hole and moved his hips forwards tentatively. Despite my earlier stretching by his finger my virgin ass still wasn’t loose enough to take him easily and so Ash very, very slowly applied more pressure until finally his cocks tip slipped inside me. I nearly came right then and there. It felt so overwhelming, pleasure radiating out through my body while feeling completely full, my muscles stretching to try and allow Ash deeper inside me. I wasn’t completely spared of any pain, gritting my teeth and grabbing onto Ash’ arm for a bit of reprieve, but as he probed deeper and deeper I could feel every twitch, spasm and throb against my internal walls and it was completely intoxicating. He was so sweet, checking on me repeatedly whenever he pushed a little deeper, giving me verbal affirmations and soft kisses to encourage me to keep going, to take him fully until his balls came to rest against my firm ass.

We’d done it, he was fully inside me, all three and a bit inches buried to the hilt. I wasn’t an anal virgin any more and that thought floated around my mind, turning me on more by the second. We weren’t in any rush to proceed further, my beautiful blonde boy leaning down to embrace me and cover me with kisses, my cock sandwiched beneath his torso and my own as we made out hungrily, unified physically once again, but in an entirely new way. He softly whispered sweet nothings to me, thanking me for doing this for him, saying how much he loved me, how much he needed me and much more that will remain between me and him. My heart beat harder in my chest as I heard his words, the perfect mix of romance and sexual exploration combining to make a potent potion of love.

Even as we lay together enjoying the moment every small movement Ash made sent a wave of pleasure crashing into my brain, receptors firing as my body tried to process this new sensation and the rising euphoria spreading out from my ass. “Fuck me baby,” I whispered softly, barely able to string words together as I tried to retain some semblance of self-control. Ash did as I asked, slowly withdrawing his hips until his cock was on the verge of slipping out of me. That emptiness was back, but even more intense than before and I longed to be filled again. Luckily for me, Ash was quick to push back against me, finding his journey a little easier this time as the lube did its work. After a couple of slow thrusts he got the bottle again so that he could pour some more lube onto his cock, continuing to allow him to slide in and out of me more easily. It felt amazing, in ways I can’t even begin to describe, but one thing I knew for sure is that I loved being fucked by Ashley. I really loved it.

My cheeks blushed red as I realised what was about to happen to me. He must have been fucking me for less than a minute and already I could feel an orgasm approaching at incredible speed. It was so embarrassing, I’d always been the leader in this relationship, the top, the dom, or whatever else you wanted to call it. I had expected with my previous experience that I would be able to last a while, but this new sensation was too much for me and my breathing got quicker and quicker by the second. Ash realised what was happening, speeding up a little as the wet sounds of my arse being invaded over and over filled the room. I hoped my parents were sleeping soundly, otherwise they would be treated to the faint sounds of their son being violated on the other side of their bedroom wall. I bit my lip at the thought. It was so naughty, but quickly my mind came back to where it should be, to Ash.

“Cum for me Bruce, cum for me please,” he whispered intensely as he stared deep into my eyes. I didn’t need to be asked twice. My limp cock stiffened slightly, rising from my stomach as a prostate powered orgasm rocked my body and mind in ways I had never felt before. I was whining and whimpering with every thrust as my climax washed over me, cum leaking from my semi-erect cock and covering my own stomach with seed. Ash continued to softly make love to me, causing my cock to bounce and jiggle, my hands covering my face as I twitched and squirmed on the bed, overcome with how incredible it felt to cum on my boyfriend's cock for the first time. Jizz continued to dribble from my member in a slow, steady stream, the life giving substance cooling on my skin and making me tingle all over. Ash gently slipped his cock out of me, spreading apart my cheeks to look at my gaping hole, freshly fucked and shiny with lube. It was an incredibly sexy sight and his cock bounced slowly up and down as he resisted the urge to push back into me again, instead getting on all fours so he could lower his mouth to my hairy stomach. His cute pink little tongue flicked out from between his lips as he lapped up every drop of cum from my body, each soft lick making me tingle and shiver. He let out satisfied moans as he tasted my essence, baby batter sliding down his throat and into his stomach, physically fuelling the man I love with my own seed. God that was an erotic thought. “Are you okay baby?” he asked me sweetly as he sat on the bed next to me, softly stroking my brow as I recovered from my first time.

“Yeah, I’m great baby,” I replied breathily. “That felt amazing.”

“Well I’m glad Daddy!” Ash replied with a cheeky giggle, “It felt good for me too,” he added. As he said that he glanced down at his own crotch, his member still throbbing and in need of release. I was tired and wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t leave my baby boy unsatisfied, especially after the last few days he’d had. I pulled myself from the bed, turning over onto my stomach, face buried in the sheets, ass in the air as I braced myself on my knees, hole presented and ready to be used.

“You don’t have to Bruce…” Ash said as he stroked my back tenderly.

“I want to baby,” I replied, “you need to cum and I want to know what it feels like to be creampied.” I was looking at him over my shoulder as I spoke and I saw him physically shudder at my words, giving himself a couple of quick strokes to make sure he was fully hard before taking up position behind me. “I’m warmed up now baby, so go as hard as you want,” I told him, gripping the sheets and preparing myself to be properly fucked. He’d been so gentle, making love to me, taking care of me, but now, it was time to give myself up to him fully, to be used for his pleasure, just like all the times he had done so for me. I felt my heart soaring as I thought about all the intimate times that were to come, swapping back and forth between giving and receiving, stretching out our holes, stroking our cocks together and breeding each other repeatedly until we couldn’t physically manage it any more. My mind was flooded with mental images of us making love in every position and every way possible, but my quiet daydreaming was quickly interrupted by the sensation of Ash driving his prick inside me, balls slapping against my arse as he set a quick pace. He was sliding in and out of me so fast that I could barely handle it, my torso collapsing onto the bed, my knees barely keeping my arse in the air as Ash had to brace me by gripping onto my hips hard.

It was like he was letting out all his pent up desires from that very first time we’d been intimate up until now. He’d always been the submissive one, the one to be fucked and to get on his knees for the most part. Now in a position of power, the feeling must have been addicting and I could tell that he was savouring every single thrust into my tight hole. I could feel another orgasm approaching as he twitched inside me, realising he was about to unload in me and biting my lip as I waited to feel his warmth spreading within.

Without notice Ash’ hand went up and he gave me a hard spank on my right buttock, the unexpected pang of pain shooting through my body and making me whelp with a mix of soreness and arousal. It was the final thing that I needed to cum again, a few more dribbles of seed spurting out from my near empty balls and down onto the bedding below. At this point my body went totally limp, collapsing against the bed as I desperately sucked in air as my mind swam with pleasure. Ash wasn’t finished yet however, following me down onto the sheets and turning me to the side so he could slide back inside me, arms wrapped around my chest, kissing my neck as he pounded me. It was a good thing that Mum and Dad were sleeping because the noises I was making couldn’t be mistaken for anything else, moaning, whimpering and whining as Ash fucked me thoroughly, giving me the treatment I’d always needed without even realising it was something I desired. It was so intense that I could barely handle it, but I grit my teeth for him and bore it, just like he had done so many times for me. After another minute or so I felt his body go tense behind me, pulling me as close as he could to him, inhaling my scent deeply as he exploded inside me.

I could feel his dick swelling and twitching before it started to repeatedly pump and pulse, strings of hot, virulent seed firing deep inside me, its warmth making me tingle pleasantly as I felt it spreading into every available inch of my orifice, searching for an egg to impregnate that it was sadly doomed to never find. We lay there together, trembling and breathing together, truly closer than we had ever been. Ash tried to pull away, but I wanted him to stay inside me for as long as possible and so I held his arms in place to stop him from moving, feeling him slowly shrinking as he spooned me and covered me in affectionate kisses on my neck, ears and cheek. Eventually the combination of his withering member along with the lube and cum made him slip out of me and I felt a rush of cool air entering my arse making me shiver and moan again. We were so exhausted that neither of us could move and I felt his cum starting to slowly leak from me, sliding down my cheeks and onto the sheets below, soaking into the material and staining it with our love.

I eventually managed to find a reserve of energy to turn myself over to face Ashley and we kissed each other softly and held hands tenderly. “Did I do good?” Ash asked me uncertainly and I stared deep into his eyes before replying.

“You were incredible baby,” I replied, “We’ll have to do that again some time.”

“You really mean it Daddy?” Ashley asked with hopeful optimism in his eyes.

“I do sweetie, but it's been a long day, let's get some rest.” Ashley agreed, yawning loudly before pulling off the duvet and using it to cover us both, snuggling up under the sheets as we both closed our eyes. “You made all of us very proud today, you know that, don't you baby?” I asked groggily before falling asleep.

“I do Daddy, thank you.” he replied softly.

“I’ve been wanting to say this for a while Ashley, but now seems like the perfect time. You were always an amazing friend, but ever since we got together, I’ve been able to see how special you really are. You’re handsome, cute, smart, kind and funny. You’re honestly perfect to me in every way. Seeing you come out of your shell and being more confident makes me so happy and I couldn’t believe that you stood up to your Mum today. You really surprised me, but in a good way! I guess what I’m trying to say is, I can imagine spending the rest of our lives together. Maybe one day we could even get married! What do you think?” I asked excitedly.

I had been speaking with my eyes closed, cracking them open and turning to Ash to find him fast asleep and snoring heavily. It was a shame that my little speech hadn’t been heard, but maybe it was for the best. We’re both young, with all the time in the world to worry about our future and so I got comfy and closed my eyes so that I could fall asleep, images of sex, romance and Ash in a beautiful white wedding gown dancing around my mind and ending what had been an incredibly challenging day in the best way possible. As long as we were by each other's side, no-one could hurt us, however hard they tried.