Chapter 49

Leaving the pageant Leah felt like electricity was flowing through her skin she was so energized. She had stood around sipping on coffee after the long day with Candi, Bailey and Jeremy while Miss Megan signed the paperwork for everything. None of it felt real, and while he mind kept coming back to not really believing she now had a crown on her head, she also knew the rug could be pulled out at any time if the truth came out. She wasn’t a sixteen year old girl, she wasn’t even a girl, yet she wore the crown. Jeremy knew the truth about her, well something closer to the truth. She didn’t think she was transgender, she hadn’t felt like she always was a girl… yet that was exactly what she felt like now. If the people running the contest found out it would all be taken away. She had been standing there not listening to the people around her talking as she looked into the milk infused coffee with much more sugar that she had ever really taken in her life, and then looked up to Jeremy.

He had noticed where she was looking and returned the look, giving her a smile that brought butterflies to Leah’s stomach. Then she looked to Bailey and Candi, wondering how they would react if they knew what Jeremy did. Feeling wanted by Jeremy when he discovered what was between her legs was amazing. The two girls already accepted her, took her under their wings, but if they found out would they shove her away or be like the sweet boy that at that very second was putting his arm around her waist. Leah wasn’t really sure Candi or Bailey had a cruel bone in their bodies. Looking at them reminded Leah of the conflict inside of her, she was attracted to Jeremy, against all odds she was, but not other men. The idea of sleeping with either or both of the blonde, green eyed girls was still very appealing, but at the same time further away.

“I mean look at the two of you, you are like totally the cutest couple, if Ry and I were like as perfect as the two of you he might get a cavity from how sweet things were.” Candi motioned to Leah and Jeremy. Leah wasn’t sure what had been said leading up to it, but the idea of them being cute together let alone a perfect couple made her blush.

“We like aren’t perfect.” Leah pulled away from Jeremy’s hand, taking a step the side, pulling her hands together as she started to feel like the room was growing smaller and quieter, even though intellectually she knew that no one else was paying attention to the group of teen’s conversation. “I’m like not who I seem to be.” Bailey’s eyes started to grow wider and his mouth opened slightly, something she quickly covered with his hand. Surprised, Leah sounded like she was about to confess to being Liam.

“Don’t be like that, myself and I know Bailey feels like a fraud sometimes.” Candi’s statement caught Leah off guard, the idea of either of these gorgeous girls could feel like that when they could twist any man around their finger.

“Really?” Candi seemed like the queen of confidence so hearing her admit that was a surprise to Leah.

“Yep, sometimes I am in the middle of making a video for my channel and I just have to stop. Like who am I to give advice to others when I’m just figuring things out myself. And you wouldn’t believe how many times I have to remind my little sis how pretty she is. Like how can she look that hot, but so often forget it.”

“I’m not that hot.” Jeremy opened his mouth to disagree with Bailey when she said that and agree with Candi, but shut it not wanting Leah to get the wrong idea.

“I umm didn’t know that about either of you.” Bailey arguing with Candi that she wasn’t hot made Leah look at the girl in a slightly different light. She wasn’t sure how someone like either of these girls could battle with self esteem like she did, but she also couldn’t understand why Jeremy really did either. “But like that isn’t what I meant I wanted to tell you…” While Leah had taken a step away from Jeremy she reached out for his hand, entwining his fingers with her own for support. He had accepted her, had told her how he loved her and she desperately wanted more of that in her life than friends that wouldn’t really be supportive, like those she used to be around.

“Tell you… I’m transgender.” The last word came out in a whisper, so quite she had to repeat herself, knowing the others could not have heard her speak that hard truth. A truth that she wasn’t even sure was really the right word to describe her, but it was the closest thing she knew. “I was born a boy… but I’m a girl.”

Bailey could see the fear in Leah’s face as she spoke, the way she hunched her body and gripped harder onto Jeremy’s hand like she was bracing for an impact. It was what Aunt Megan had been telling him, something he couldn’t really accept, but the fear of people not accepting what came from what looked like a teen girl’s mouth wasn’t a lie, wasn’t an act. The fact Jeremy still held onto Leah’s hand meant he already knew and had accepted it. “Who you were and who you are can like be different and I totally know we all like who you are Leah.” Bailey thought of the letter from Liam, explaining himself and asking to be forgiven, it seemed so easy to forgive Leah for something Liam did, Bailey really didn’t even feel like they were the same person.

Tilting her head just slightly Candi smiled at Leah. “If you thought that would change how we think of you, then you are crazy girl, because we all think you are amazing. I like never would have guessed, but it means so much to both Bailey and myself you would open up like this. Oh my god, I am just so happy for you and that you would tell us.” Candi felt tears coming to her eyes, she fanned her face for a second before giving up and letting them run down her cheeks as she hugged Leah. Turning her head and opening one arm as she looked over at Bailey so she knew she was welcome in the hug too. This was the best summer of her life, just because she became an adult, not because of how much fun she was having, but because of all the people she got to grow close to.

Finishing what she was doing Megan walked up on the group seeing them happy talking amongst themselves. “Everyone looks rather happy here, I hate to interrupt it, but we do have to vacate soon. Everyone ready to go out and celebrate?” The group broke their hug, looking to the adult in their little party.

“We totally are Auntie.” Bailey gave Megan a big smile. Things had been changing so quickly, but right there in that moment it felt natural to smile at her, the person that somehow engineered this moment of happiness they all could share.

Candi gave Leah a tight hug, rocking her body slightly from left right. “You are just so brave, and you come and ask us anything, Bailey and I are totally an ally, I like don’t know a lot or like really anything about this, but I totally will. We are totally here for you.” She said in a whisper as she held Leah close, letting go so Bailey could have another turn.

“I like have no idea how you had the courage to like say that, if you like need anything you just ask. Oh and like congrats again on winning.” Bailey really didn’t understand how Liam just came out and said that, he had been living as a girl for longer and couldn’t imagine telling his best friend he was actually a male. He figured the difference might be the fact that Liam actually wanted to be Leah, something he could never really want. Life had more than a few upsides since his life flipped, but it didn’t change who he was.

“There will be plenty of time to hug and celebrate, Candi, Bailey lets head to the cars. I’m sure those two would like a moment to themselves.” With that the group departed leaving Leah standing next to Jeremy, a silence falling between them as they both thought hard on what to say now that they were alone, making the moment drag on and become awkward and that awkwardness just making the silence drag on longer.

“So…” Jeremy searched for to say, he wanted to say so much to the beautiful girl next to him.”

“Yeah?” Leah latched onto the one word the boy said, glad he was speaking up. All the courage in her feeling like it dried up with the confession.”

“Congratulations again, I love seeing the crown on you. Makes you look like a princess and I have always thought you deserve to be treated like one and I hope you feel like one, especially today.” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck, only finding it in him to look his girlfriend in the eye near the end. He hated feeling like this, he knew they both liked each other, they both loved one another and yet he constantly had to fight his own mind that he was good enough to be with Leah, to be with the beautiful princess standing before him.

“I’m.. I’m not a princess, but…” A small smile grew on Leah’s face as what she was going to say next came to mind and her heart repeated it as the truth. “You do make me feel like one.” Leah could see the boy’s goofy smile on his face before he got himself under control, moving closer so he could wrap one arm around her waist, while she felt the finger tips of his other hand gently touch her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her, stopping just before their lips were about to meet.

“You will always be my princess.” When Jeremy kissed her, Leah opened her mouth to invite his tongue in and as it did she felt her nipples start to grow hard. She wrapped her arms around his neck to hold herself up as she felt like her toes were about to curl and knees grow weak. She felt happy, happy to be loved, happy to be accepted, happy to be the one pursued and happy to not pretend and put walls up. Before him just touching her felt wrong, but right now everything felt right and she was happy she was no longer fighting it, fighting who she was. Not a bitter sarcastic man, but a happy girl.

“Do you want to talk about what you just said to your friends?” Jeremy asked as he took Leah’s hand in his own, wishing they were somewhere private to continue that deep wonderful encounter and more if his raging hormones had anything to say about it. Leah shook her head, she still had one more hard conversation left.

“No, umm like maybe another time. For now I’m just happy.” She hugged him, placing her head on his chest, taking a few deep breaths as she listened to his heart beat.

“Another time then.” Jeremy said wrapping one hand around her, pressing his hand into her back to hold her close.

“Yeah…” Leah let out a sigh full of contentment before pulling away so they could get going. Jeremy walked her to the SUV she arrived in, giving her one last kiss like they were departing for a long time apart instead of just an hour-long car ride. When Leah got into the vehicle she got into the back seat out of habit at this point.

“Sweetie do you want to ride up front?” Leah looked to the empty passenger seat, smiling before getting out and running around the vehicle in her heels to ride in the front seat for the first time in a long while, outside of being with Jeremy.

The car trip had only been going on for ten minutes before Leah was able to speak up. “Miss Megan, I umm. Candi, Bailey and Jeremy know I’m a boy.” With no preamble or build up the statement made Megan do a double take.

“What exactly do they know?” It was great that Liam had found himself in Leah, but she had broken a few laws for this to come about, and if she had said something she shouldn’t have it could get her into trouble. An icy feeling ran through her as she kept looking from the road to Leah, wanting to answer the question.

“They all think I’m like transgender, but like not who I am… who I used to be. I just umm came out and said it and both the girls were so happy for me, they called me brave. Candi said she was an ally but like didn’t know what that was so she would have to look things up, but she wanted to help and…” Leah trailed off realizing she was talking rapidly and excitedly, moving her hands around as she spoke. Megan licked her lips, nodding to herself as that cold feeling withdrew slowly.

“That sounds like her, what about Jeremy? I saw his goodbye to you so I’m guessing it went well.”

“Ahh, he found out on his birthday when we were in the park and he gave me that gift I showed you. We were umm, kissing and stuff and earlier that day my tuck kit came off and I didn’t have another and, and… and he felt it, but it didn’t matter to him. He said he loved me and… and…” Megan pulled over to the side of the road, unbuckling her seatbelt so she could reach over to give a hug to the girl who was fighting off tears.

“Shhh, shhh, its okay. That sounds wonderful, it seems he is good for you. I’m sorry Charles isn’t here for you to talk to. I told him he needed to speak with you, but it seems he couldn’t even stay to watch your pageant.” And what I get for letting him out of the chastity cage before the pageant instead of after, Megan added mentally. She wasn’t going to make him put it back on, but she was going to let him know her displeasure.

“No, no…” Leah shook her head. “It was super nice he was there for me this morning, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to him yet. He has known me like my whole life, he has to already know or have an idea, but there is like also a lot of our Dad in him so I don’t know how he will like take it.”

“Well, no matter how he takes it you have a circle of people who accept you and love you.” Leah gave the blue-eyed woman a small smile, the world was a little blurry with the tears in her eyes, but she took note of what she had just said. “I know Jeremy does… but do you really?”

“Do I what?” Megan had lost the thread; she was about to correct herself and tell the girl that of course she accepted her.

“Do you love me, like you just said.” Megan rocked her head back, not realizing she had said or implied that. She replied quickly, not wanting Leah to see her having to consider the question. “I do, I do love you Leah in a paternal sense. It feels like I have watched you grow up and blossom into a wonderful young woman.”

Miss Megan had been much nicer to her, but that she cared for her, loved her set off a sparkler in her heart. It felt like receiving a gift you desperately wanted, yet didn’t know you did till you saw it. Leah wiped a tear from her eyes, knowing she was going to have to fix her makeup again. “I, I wasn’t like a good person and I know what I did was wrong, and all of this was to teach me a lesson, but like… because of you I’m happy.”

“Just keep that in mind next time I spank you for misbehaving.” Megan spoke with a smile and myrth in her voice, causing a small laugh to escape Leah’s mouth even as she tried to sniffle.

“I will.” Leah let out a giggle, thinking more about how everything came together. The good, the bad, the worse for his life to transform into her life.