Chapter 45

Waking up the next morning Leah smiled slightly feeling content for a second as she smelled Jeremy. Opening her eyes she saw the letter that had his cologne on it laying next to her in bed. Memories of the previous night came back to her, how he confessed his love, gave her a present, a blow job, him finding out the truth… a truth and still saying he loved her and her saying the same to him. She hadn’t said a word on the way back home and hadn’t kissed the boy goodnight, she was too torn. She wasn’t actually a girl, she… he was a man, only pretending to be a girl. If he really was Leah he could actually love Jeremy, but he couldn’t because he wasn’t gay, he didn’t like boys.

Still laying there in bed Liam thought back to his brother getting backhanded for standing in the way of his father when he wanted to discipline… beat him for wearing one of his mothers’s necklaces. Him saying he wouldn’t have a boy that was some fag. He hadn’t understood it then, but Liam knew he didn’t want his brother to be hurt, so he stopped doing things like that. It was the right call he thought, boys don’t do things like that and they shouldn’t be going out on dates with a boy, even if it was probably the best person he had ever met. He couldn’t like Jeremy, he couldn’t actually like the feel of panties or being pampered; those were for girls.

Moving his right hand from under the blanket he cupped one of his breasts, it seemed so normal to have them there, but a man shouldn’t have tender C breasts… and definitely shouldn’t enjoy someone touching them. Liam frowned as he rolled his thumb over his nipple, feeling the pleasant jolt through himself. The feeling of it felt wonderful, but he knew it was wrong and he wanted it to be right. He wanted to be a good girl and proud instead of some freak living a freaky life. Miss Megan had made him live this life, it was because of her he learned these things, these things he liked, but wasn’t allowed to like. It was because of her he met sweet kissable Jeremy… Liam shook his head, his imagination thinking about being held by him. It didn’t make any sense, he didn’t look at men and think about them that way, why was Jeremy different?

Liam felt his eyes well up, rolling over in the bed he pressed his face into his pillow as he started to cry. Life would be so much easier… so much better if he really was Leah. Then it would be okay to like getting his nails done, or the feeling of his long hair being brushed… and it would be okay to be around her boyfriend. Laying there in bed Liam cried himself back to sleep, thinking about how things would have been better if he had been born a girl instead. No having to hold in his emotions, no having to act tough, as a small boy he could never live up to his fathers wishes, if he had been a girl things would have been different, if he had been a girl he could have spent more time with his mom. If only being Leah was real.

“Why aren’t you out of bed yet!?” The yelling startled Leah awake, rolling over she saw daddy standing over her dressed for work and looking upset. “You are going to make me late for work, it takes you forever to get ready.” Chuck shook his head at how inconsiderate his shit little brother was being, knowing full well he already had to leave for work early to drop him off at Megan’s place and here he was not even out of bed when they should be about to leave. “Ya know what?! You can find your own way to the bitches house, I’m going to text her and let her know my daughter wanted extra beauty sleep and I had to get to work. No, nothing to say? Yeah just continue to lay there little princess.” Chuck huffed before storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Working himself up more and more as he grabbed his keys and left for work.

Leah was unsure of what to make of what just happened, a glance at the clock and she really had overslept, but being a little late wasn’t the end of the world. She had made it home before curfew the night before and daddy had already been asleep and while it was her fault for falling back to sleep he could have checked on her earlier. She really wished he would have, talking about the raging emotions in her would have been nice, not that they ever talked about how they felt in the past. Pulling her phone off the charger she called Miss Megan.

“Good morning sweetie, is everything okay? Or are you just calling to say you are on the way over?” Leah pressed her lips together and tightened her grip on the blanket she had in her free hand. This woman had spanked her, tortured her and still was one of the only people to take the time to ask her is she was okay. Thinking about it she had all along praised her when she was doing things right, even if it was praise for things she didn’t want to be doing, while daddy had been nothing, but negative.

“I’m.. I’m not really doing okay Miss Megan.” That simple confession felt like a leap of faith, would she tell him to man up or to keep a smile on her face and move on?

“I’m sorry to hear that Leah, would you like to talk about it now or when you get here?” Leah bit the inside of her cheek, wondering if this was really okay.

“I.. I ahh… I’m still in bed, I had a bad night and Daddy got upset and yelled at me before like leaving for work.”

“I see… Charles just left you did he? From what I understand you were with Jeremy last night, was that part of the problem?”

“Sorta, but not really he like… no everything was perfect with him, but also like too perfect and… and…”

“Slow down, take a deep breath. Tell you what, I want you to do two things for me. I can tell there is a lot on your mind, focus on the good things and get ready for the day. I will head over to pick you shortly, I just have to finish this report real quick. Think you can hold on till I get there?” Leah nodded her head, feeling tears already coming back to her eyes, wishing her emotions would just stay under control like they used to.

“Leah, are you there?”

“Yes… sorry Miss Megan, I was like nodding my head.”

“It is fine sweetie, I will see you soon.”

When Megan got there she found Leah wearing a dark blue jumper dress with a crisp white button up blouse and considering how it looked on her she was wearing one of her push up bras. She paired it with the first pair of heels she received, dark blue with a brown leather strap and still around her neck was the silver cross necklace. “You look very nice this morning Leah.”

“Thank you Miss Megan, are we going to go?” Leah asked, seeing her large black bag purse hanging from her shoulder, when she normally left it in the car when she was just picking her up. “Shortly, I wanted to talk to you inside first.”

Inside Megan sat close to the feminized man, looking him over and seeing no real trace of Liam, just Leah. As the girl sitting next to her talked she talked with her hands like most women do, sat with her legs crossed at the knee. “I’m here now, so do you want to talk about what is bothering you?”

The conversation surprised Megan, the macho skirt chasing man had actually confessed to thinking life would be better off if not just that he was really Leah, but if he had been born a girl. She had already decided not to punish Liam anymore, not unless he really got out of line again, not after he had sent that letter to Bailey. Bailey was still on board to push Liam more, but she could tell even Bailey’s resolve wasn’t behind it and now she felt genuinely sorry for Liam as he told her a story about when he was little, he sat next to his mother as she got ready for the day. Telling her how she was the prettiest person ever, echoes of similar words coming out of Becky’s mouth when she was little and how happy it made her flitted through her mind. This was a story about Liam, but it was being told by Leah and they felt like different people to her at this point. Liam’s mother had asked him if he wanted to be pretty too and she put lipstick on him. He was sure his mother intended to wipe it off before she was done, but he had run off to show his father that he was pretty, but instead it had earned him a bruise and a command to never do that again. He had cried in his room, feeling alone, his brother off with his friends while he could hear his parents fighting over what happened.

“Are you saying you want to live as Leah?” Megan could see the anxiety and anguish on the face of the person in front of her. It was already there, but when she asked the question they looked like it might have been a physical blow to voice it.

“No, yes… MAYBE I JUST DON’T KNOW!” Leah had a few tears escape while she talked, but right now she was sure her makeup was a mess as they flowed down from her eyes. She felt the older woman’s wrap around her, and with that gesture Leah pressed her face into her shoulder and stopped fighting back the tears.

Megan held Leah tightly with one hand, the other rubbing her back. She felt confused and conflicted as to what was going on. She wasn’t a psychologist and could only think how making Liam act like a teen girl had awoken something buried deep. It made her unsure how to really proceed from here, but considering the reason this all started she was going to need to speak with Bailey.

Later that day Leah picked up her saxophone case and gave a smile to Miss Megan. “I”m like going out back to practice my song for the pageant.” She watched Leah go out the back door, choosing not to speak up about the beauty pageant. On one hand she did want to see Leah compete, on the other she now felt guilty for some of the things she made this person do when they confessed to her their feelings. Even if Liam-Leah was confused about what they really wanted. They were far from ironing things out, if Liam wanted to stay as Leah did that mean as she was right now as a teenager or going back to something like her old life, but living as a female. Or was all of this just part of female hormones running through their system, making Liam confused about how he really felt. Megan had already found a professional for them to talk things through with, but Navada wasn’t exactly number one for mental health, so the appointment wasn’t for almost a month. Now though, with Leah out practicing, she thought it would be a good time to speak with Bailey.

Megan: How is my favorite Niece?

Bailey: OMG soooo bored!

Bailey: I was filing and then Miss April said I was doing it wrong

Bailey: So now I’m like having 2 remove staples and unwrinkle paper so it can b scanned or something

Megan: I wanted to talk to you about Leah

Bailey: Yeah!? do u think Liam gave Jeremy a blow job like she was supposed 2?

Bailey: I like asked Jeremy how was last night and all he would say is he had fun and couldnt like say more.

Megan: Honestly, I’m not sure

Bailey: We should have like made a selfie doing it part of the punishment

Megan: Bailey, pumpkin. Leah confessed to me that she wants to be a girl.

Bailey: IDK what like u mean, Liam is like already doing that

Megan: No, Liam wants to continue to live as Leah as in after all this.

Bailey: He is trying 2 trick u like no boy would like 2 live as a girl

Megan: Don’t you enjoy looking pretty and getting compliments?

Bailey: That is like totally different everyone likes getting compliments

Megan: Liam is not lying and I need you to be okay with it

Bailey: So like when I get 2 b a boy again Liam is like going 2 stay as Leah?

Megan: Yes

Bailey: oh… umm Im like confused

Megan: We can talk through it some more, but you need to know this isn’t about punishing Liam anymore, this is about enabling Leah.

Bailey: K, like sure I guess…

Liam hadn’t exactly said he was going to transition and be Leah from now on, but she was having a hard time seeing the person out on her back porch dressed up, wearing makeup and heels for a day around the house as anyone other than Leah. Especially after the confession and the letter that was sent to Bailey… she wasn’t willing to punish Liam any further after he had actually learned his lesson. She looked toward her backdoor, unable to see the person playing the instrument, thinking it was funny how Liam put up so much more of a fight than Bailey, yet he was willing to admit what he did wrong, wanting forgiveness and accepting that he liked some aspects of a femenine life. While Bailey had confessed there didn’t seem to be any regret and Bailey still wouldn’t admit to liking how their life was now, when she could clearly see how happy her new niece was.