Chapter 33 The Butler

The drive took nearly an hour.

Which was surprising.

Not because the property was particularly far from the city.

But because Greta drove like a woman who viewed traffic laws as personal insults.

Taylor sat rigidly in the passenger seat.

Crystal spent most of the trip alternating between screaming and threatening legal action.

Joey eventually gave up and simply accepted ****.

Cassandra looked completely unbothered.

When they finally turned off the main road and onto a winding gravel drive, Joey immediately sat forward.

The property stretched farther than he could see.

Towering trees surrounded the estate on all sides, creating a natural wall of forest that hid everything beyond the gates.

And the gates themselves were ridiculous.

Two wrought iron doors nearly fifteen feet tall blocked the entrance.

Ancient runes had been carved directly into the black metal.

Hidden among them Joey could see cameras.

Motion sensors.

Laser emitters.

And what looked suspiciously like a mounted machine gun.

"...Greta?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that a machine gun?"

Greta looked.

"Oh."

A pause.

"I forgot that was still there."

Crystal covered her face.

"How do you FORGET a machine gun?"

Greta shrugged.

"It blends in."

"It absolutely does not."

The gates slowly began to open.

Joey noticed several runes glowing faintly as Cassandra approached.

The symbols shifted from red to blue.

Recognition.

Acceptance.

The wards knew her.

As the vehicle passed through the gates, Joey felt a strange tingling sensation crawl across his skin.

Almost like walking through a spiderweb.

Taylor shivered.

"You felt that too?"

Cassandra nodded.

"The registration wards."

Joey frowned.

"The what?"

"The property recognizes everyone authorized to be here."

Greta grinned.

"One of my better purchases."

They continued down the winding drive.

Then the house appeared.

Joey stared.

"That is not a house."

"It is technically a manor."

"That is not helping."

The structure looked like someone had taken a medieval fortress and allowed a billionaire architect to redesign it while heavily intoxicated.

Stone walls rose three stories high.

Watchtowers stood at each corner.

Massive stained-glass windows overlooked carefully maintained gardens.

Sections of the roof carried solar panels.

Other sections carried gargoyle statues.

One of the gargoyles moved.

Joey pointed.

"The gargoyle moved."

"Good."

"What do you mean good?"

"If it hadn't moved I'd be concerned."

Joey decided he didn't want to know.

The vehicle finally stopped.

Everyone climbed out.

Taylor looked around in amazement.

Crystal looked around in terror.

Joey honestly wasn't sure which reaction was more appropriate.

The front doors alone looked heavy enough to survive artillery.

As they approached, the doors swung open automatically.

Joey immediately stopped walking.

"Nope."

Crystal bumped into his back.

"What now?"

"The haunted mansion just opened itself."

"It isn't haunted," Greta said.

A calm voice echoed from hidden speakers somewhere overhead.

"Correct. I am not haunted."

Joey nearly jumped.

"Oh come on!"

The voice continued.

"My name is Harold. I manage Blackthorn Manor."

Joey slowly turned in a circle.

"You sound like a haunted butler."

"I have been informed that is a compliment."

Crystal looked equally alarmed.

"Where are you?"

"Everywhere."

Joey pointed dramatically.

"See? That's exactly what a ghost would say."

Greta barked out a laugh.

"Harold isn't a ghost. He's an artificial intelligence."

Joey blinked.

"...What?"

Taylor looked surprised as well.

"An AI?"

"One of the best," Greta said proudly.

"Thank you, Greta."

"You are welcome, Harold."

Joey looked between them.

"Why does a fortified supernatural compound need an AI?"

Harold answered immediately.

"Because humans are inefficient."

A brief pause.

"I apologize. That response was considered impolite."

"It was also accurate," Cassandra said.

"Thank you, Cassandra."

Joey rubbed his temples.

"So we're living in a smart house."

Harold responded instantly.

"I prefer 'highly sophisticated autonomous security and logistics platform.'"

"You're a smart house."

A pause.

"...Accepted."

Inside was somehow even stranger.

The entry hall looked like a castle.

Stone floors.

Massive chandeliers.

Ancient suits of armor.

Moving portraits.

Then Joey looked up.

A security camera rotated and focused directly on him.

The chandelier contained motion sensors.

Small defensive turrets were hidden among decorative carvings.

The entire building felt like a collision between the fifteenth century and the twenty-fifth.

"What exactly happens if somebody attacks this place?" Joey asked.

Greta's grin widened.

"Oh, you're gonna love this."

Immediately Joey regretted asking.

Cassandra pointed toward a series of silver symbols carved into the floor.

"The registration ward tracks everyone approved to be here."

Taylor crouched slightly to examine them.

"That's incredibly advanced magic."

Greta looked proud.

"If one of us triggers an alarm?" Crystal asked.

"Nothing happens," Greta answered.

Crystal blinked.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

Joey frowned.

"Then what's the point?"

"The defenses know who belongs here."

Greta tapped one of the runes with her boot.

"If someone unauthorized enters after an alarm goes off?"

A low mechanical hum echoed through the walls.

Everybody paused.

Even Greta.

"...That wasn't me."

Joey immediately disliked that answer.

Harold's calm voice filled the entry hall.

"Defense demonstration requested."

"No," Joey said immediately.

"Request denied."

"Good."

"Defense demonstration approved."

"What?!"

Panels suddenly opened throughout the walls.

Steel shutters slammed down over every window.

Hidden ballistae unfolded from behind paintings.

Silver-coated spear launchers emerged from the ceiling.

Rows of glowing runes ignited across the stone walls.

Outside, the gargoyles turned their heads toward the front gate.

Crystal screamed.

Joey screamed.

Taylor screamed.

Cassandra nodded approvingly.

"Excellent response time."

"Thank you," Harold replied.

Joey pointed upward.

"Why is the house proud of itself?"

"Because I exceeded projected deployment metrics by fourteen percent."

Greta grinned.

"That's my boy."

"I am not technically anyone's boy."

The defenses slowly retracted.

The shutters rose.

The walls sealed themselves.

As if nothing had happened.

Nobody spoke for several seconds.

Finally Cassandra folded her arms.

"Good."

Joey stared at her.

"You think that's good?"

"Cautious optimism."

Greta laughed loudly.

Taylor quietly moved closer to Joey.

Which honestly felt reasonable.

The house was terrifying.

Yet strangely comforting.

Because for the first time since Silas.

For the first time since Leviathan.

For the first time since hunters started kicking down doors and trying to kill everyone—

Joey finally felt safe.

Or at least safer than he had.

As they began exploring their new home, Harold's calm voice echoed through the halls once more.

"Welcome to Blackthorn Manor."

And somehow that sounded less like a greeting—

and more like a warning.