Chapter 28 - Alive

Six months had passed since Emma left, and this was the first time I'd seen Ashley since then.

We were sitting in a café downtown, both of us with coffee. Ashley had been on a rant for the past ten minutes about her landlord.

"And then he has the audacity to tell me that the mold is my fault," she said, gesturing with her cup. "My fault! Like I'm the one who installed faulty ventilation in a bathroom with no windows. He says I should've been running the exhaust fan more. I run it every time I shower! But apparently that's not good enough, and now he's trying to charge me for the remediation because he claims it's tenant negligence."

I smiled, listening. It felt good to just sit here, to hear about normal problems. Landlords and mold and deposit disputes.

"I'm looking into tenant rights laws," she continued. "Because I'm pretty sure he can't do that. And honestly, I'm tempted to just move out, but finding a new place in this market?" She shook her head. "It's a nightmare."

She stopped suddenly, looking at me. "God, I must be boring you to death. Sorry."

"You're not," I said. "I'm fine. Really."

"Are you?" she asked, her expression softening. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "I am. Really. I mean it." I took a sip of my coffee. "I miss her. But it's okay. I'm processing it this time. Moving forward. Trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I've been looking for work, actually."

"What about the money?" Ashley asked. "From that Latina woman. What was her name?"

"Luciana," I said. "I still have some of it left, thank God. And some from other hosts we used. But I don't think it's a good idea for me to just stay idle. I need to do something."

Ashley nodded. "If you feel ready to go back to work, and if you think it would do you good, then Emma would probably want you to."

"Yeah," I said quietly. "I think she would."

We sat in silence for a moment. Then Ashley spoke again.

"It took me a while too. To process all of it. But somehow, having her inside me, feeling her leave…" She paused. "It gave me some peace. Maybe it's something she left inside me. As a gift."

"What do you remember?" I asked, realizing I'd never actually asked her. "About your time with her inside you. Before you started coming back."

Ashley looked thoughtful. "Not much, honestly. It's like… fragments. Feelings more than memories. I remember being calm. Content. I remember…" She trailed off, then looked at me carefully, as if weighing something.

Finally, she reached into her handbag and pulled out an envelope.

On it were the words: For Calvin, when he's ready.

"I wasn't sure if you were ready," Ashley said. "But maybe you are. Besides, it's for you, not me."

I took the letter, my hands shaking slightly. Was I ready?

I slipped it into my jacket pocket without opening it. "Thank you."

"It's nothing heavy," Ashley said, placing a hand on mine. "If it's like the one she left for me. Just… kind words. Maybe some advice."

"Another goodbye," I said. The words came out harder than I meant them to. It was good, in a way. But also bad. I'd had enough goodbyes from my dead wife.

Ashley sighed. "When you're ready. If you're ever ready." She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "You're right. She did say goodbye already. I don't think it's meant to be necessary for you to read it."

I nodded, my throat tight.

We finished our coffee. I set my cup down and looked at Ashley.

"I need a bit of time to process this," I admitted, my voice still calm and collected. "I've been working on it, moving forward. This is just… a bit sudden. Diving back into the whole thing."

Ashley's face fell. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should have waited longer—"

"No," I said quickly. "You did nothing wrong. I'm grateful. For everything you did. Really."

She nodded, looking relieved.

We said our goodbyes outside the café, hugging briefly. Then she walked toward the subway, and I headed to my car.

I sat in the driver's seat for a long time, not starting the engine. Just thinking.

Finally, I pulled the envelope out of my jacket. My hands were steadier now. I opened it.

The handwriting was Ashley's, but the words were Emma's.

Calvin,

I'm fading. I can feel it. I needed to write this before I don't have the strength to anymore. Being in Ashley helps so much. She cares. She loves me. It makes this easier.

I love you. I will always love you. But you need to be happy. Move on. And when you're ready, meet someone else.

If there's one thing we learned from all this, it's that there are plenty of women out there you enjoy spending time with. Different personalities. Different bodies. Yes, it was me inside them all, but sometimes it was more them than me. And yet you connected. Most of the time.

That matters.

So go find that again, please.

I love you.

—Emma

I expected to cry. I felt sad, yes. But also happy. Peaceful, even.

I nodded to myself.

I folded the letter carefully and put it back in my pocket. Then I pulled out my phone.

I scrolled through my messages, going back. Seven months. Further. Until I found the conversation: Elizabeth.

I typed slowly.

Me: I know how weird last time was. I'm sorry. I was still processing my wife's death, mixed everything up in my head, acted crazy. I've had time now. And I'm still thinking about that date. That connection. Would you like to go out again?

I hit send before I could second-guess myself.

Then I put the phone down on the passenger seat, not wanting to wait, not wanting to expect anything.

The phone buzzed.

I picked it up.

Elizabeth: I'd like that.

The end

Hey there! This is it. I hope you enjoyed the story and I'd be happy to hear your feedback.

Also, feel free to join my Discord server where you'll meet lovely weirdos who love to chat about mind control, smut and hypnosis.

See you soon for another kinky story ;)