Chapter 11

I was building myself up to the conversation with Myta, but she beat me to it. We’d been on the road for perhaps an hour, long enough to leave behind the camp’s traffic. There were no other travelers on this stretch of road, and the two of us shared a companionable silence. So when I felt her nervousness spike for no apparent reason, I became alarmed.

“Master,” her voice caused me to jump, startled as I already was. “The other day you said that I was your responsibility, until my spirit was healed. What happens to me after that?”

“When you are well, and we return to Kuru, I can see about transferring your bond back to your aunt.” The thought of it pained me, more than I expected. Myta had been more lively over the past days. Her warm amusement and rare laughter coming more readily. It was difficult to imagine losing them in only another year. “Ket told us our bond is different than a standard **** bond, so it may take some time and research to determine how to do so safely.”

“And what if…” she hesitated for a long moment, refusing to meet my gaze. “What if I do not wish to be bound to Pedu?”

“I do not know how to remove the bond entirely, it is designed to be irreversible. Simply severing it would bleed your mana…”

“That is not what I’m saying.” She cut me off, a stark break from her normal deference “I am asking, what if I wish to remain with you?”

“That…” I could feel her fear, bordering on panic. A strange compliment to my own internal turmoil. “Ket told us the bond influences our emotions. I think that may be influencing your desire to remain with me. I do not wish to compel your loyalty, or your obedience.”

“Don’t you?” There was that smile, almost a smirk. “I think you enjoy compelling me.” A moment later the mirth faded from her face, and she looked away again. “I promise you that I wish to remain, and for my part I do not care if that feeling is caused by the bond. You have taken care of me, treated me better than I have been treated in a long time. And given me a purpose to focus on.

“I understand that my presence endangers you though I am honestly not sure why. But I meant it when I said that I would work to make myself useful. Ket also said that you would need to depend on me soon. Please, let me be useful.”

I couldn’t argue with her resolve. In truth, I didn’t want to. “Very well. I will consider you to be my servant for the foreseeable future. Unless you change your mind.”

*Vas, she is your vas.* I was somehow unsurprised by the mental voice, even though I’d seen no hint of the leopard spirit’s presence. Myta touched my arm, making a contented noise. In fact I felt the satisfaction flow from her at Ket’s assertion. Idly, I ran my hand up her back, gently scratching her scalp.

“Ket, do you happen to know of a clearing nearby?” If she was here, then perhaps she could serve as a more literal guide.

*Yes. I will tell your goats.* Not quite the response I’d expected, but when the goats turned towards a small game trail a short time later, I let them have their heads. It didn’t take too long to reach the spirit’s promised clearing, a glade perhaps thirty feet across. The ground was relatively level, carpeted thickly with clover, and seemed relatively free of boulders. It would suit my purpose well.

“Climb on down and limber up.” I told Myta, as I hopped off the bench to searching through our gear. I pulled out what I needed to set an abbreviated camp figuring that we could linger here until lunch. As I got to work clearing the area for a small fire I kept an eye on her. She ran through a series of stretches and warming exercises, ones that the Pure monks commonly used. Functional, but I could show her better ones later. She showed no signs of fatigue or strain, though it did appear that she was less limber than a practiced martial artist should be. If my eyes didn’t deceive me, she was significantly less limber than she expected to be as well. A strange exception for whatever had guided her body back to her ‘peak’ condition. When she was done with those, I tossed her the crude spear I’d bought at the camp.

“Forms,” I said simply as she caught the weapon. She hesitated, and I thought perhaps it might have been the first time she had done so, when I’d given her a clear instruction. For some reason she was nervous, and that itched at my curiosity. I was not a student of sun’s ray, but she seemed certain enough of the form. It was an aggressive style, favoring bursts of speed and rapid thrusting attacks. It was style well favored by many who were aspected to fire, especially among the Pure. Still, something about her motions felt off to me, like a dancer stepping just off-beat. She came to the end of her forms panting, and looking somewhat ill.

“Again,” I said. Keeping a closer eye on her individual motions as she started her forms over. That was when I started to see it. Here, the muscles of her forearm twitched in the middle of a thrust. There, her leg tried to drop her during an advance. Mentally cursing, I looked at her spirit as she moved through the steps. What I saw was like nails scraping slate to my spiritual sense.

All martial arts forms that I knew of were designed to harness the spirit, empowering the body. They encouraged the flow of mana, directing the energy to empower the attacks and maneuvers of the form. Not all spirit bodies were the same, so the forms needed to be somewhat flexible. Most martial artists would unconsciously adjust the form as they practiced it, altering the moves to align with their own meridians. Right now, Myta’s spirit form was in revolt, her motions were twisting against her channels, causing her mana to clot like old blood. It was possible that somehow, against all my experience, she had naturally developed a version of this form that actively harmed her. From the look of discomfort and concentration on her face however, I doubted it.

“Repeat the forms until I tell you to stop.” I told her, ignoring the pulse of frustration I felt from her. “And while you are doing that I need you to answer some questions for me. This is very important, not just for me, but to determine our future together. Do you understand?”

“Yes master.” Her response was quick and firm, her expression shifting from uncomfortable to resolved. Good, now I just needed to keep her attention occupied.

“What is it that you expect from me, what is it that you want from me, as your… veth?” Ket let out an approving rumble when I finally settled on the term the spirits used.

“I… don’t understand. As your ****, your vas, i am here to serve your wants.”

My scoff was mirrored by the cat spirit, and I felt a spike of surprised kinship with her, but I kept my focus on Myta. Her expression was genuinely confused, which frustrated me just a little, but her motions were adjusting slowly as she was distracted from the forms.

“Only a fool imagines that a bond like we share would wipe away your desires. And while I have met many such fools, I’d prefer not to because me one. You asked, specifically, to remain with me. For me to be the one holding your bond. Tell me why.” Eyes distant, she failed to respond for long minutes. I could feel her mind racing in circles, trying to make sense of her own feelings. “Talk to me Myta, tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Master I… you make me feel certain, safe. With you, my choices are simple and clear. You told me that I needed to become useful to you, and then instructed me on how to do so. When I make a mistake, you explain my error. When I succeed, you tell me that I have done well.”

“And you former masters did not.” It wasn’t a question, but she nodded anyway. “They despised you for your birth, sabotaged your work, and set you to impossible tasks. And even when you gave your best efforts to them, they made you feel a failure. Like you could never be good enough, not because of what you did, but for who you are.”

“Yes, master.” Her voice was rough with emotion. There was rage in it, and bitterness, even a strong helping of shame. I understood exactly how she felt, and not just from the bond. A long time ago, I’d carried those same chains, and my heart ached in sympathy.

“I understand then, what you need from me. I will try to be explicit, and clear, about my desires and expectations. I will continue to correct any errors that you make, and provide an explanation if I am displeased with you at any point. I will also continue to let you know when you have met, or especially when you have exceeded my expectations. Which you have done now, by the way. Stop doing the forms, now.” She followed her last form to it’s conclusion, and then fell into a rest position, panting lightly. I stepped in close to her, cupping her cheek and tilting her head so that I could directly meet her gaze.

“Myta, I take responsibility for you. Not just as your physician, but as you veth, whatever that will mean.” I paused to try and sort out my thoughts, because this felt like a kind of pivotal moment, a sacred path. And I could tell that she felt the same. “I am not perfect, but I will do my best to fill your needs. If they aren’t being met, of if you decide you wish to end our relationship, you will tell me.” I slipped my hand to the back of her head, tangling my fingers in her hair, clenching my fist to pull it tight against her scalp. I’d done this before, in the shared visions, but not in the real world. There was something viscerally satisfying about it, something that made my blood surge, and my teeth ache to bite her neck.

Whimpering a little, she nodded, or she tried to at least. Her head pulled against my grip, and though she tried to finish the gesture and acknowledge my last statement, she got a little lost in the feeling of my hand pulling at her hair. Close enough. I released her, slowly and deliberately, so she had plenty of time to steady herself. Truth be told, my own legs were a little unsteady. Ket was still watching us, keeping her peace, but I could practically feel the rumble of an approving purr. Apparently, even without particularly understanding the dynamics of a veth and vas relationship, I was doing well.

“Now you have impressed me, by how quickly you overcame training that was meant to cripple you.” My vas blinked rapidly, attempting to clear her head. I sympathized, but we still had work to do. “How do you feel?”

“I feel… good?” Her answer sounded like a question, and I understood her confusion immediately.

“How you were doing the forms before, you trainers drilled them into you very strictly, very precisely. Didn’t they?” She nodded. “The were trying to cripple you, to disrupt your spirit. That is why you would feel tired and sick when doing them.” For a moment Myta was lost in memories, undoubtedly reviewing all her training in a new light. I felt her disbelief, which slowly transformed into surprise, and then sparked into anger. Her eyes shone brighter, and I saw a ripple of lighter crimson move through her hair.

“Why would they do that? What purpose could it possibly serve?” I was oddly glad to hear the heat in her voice. She had been so deferent to this point, so oddly passive, that part if me wondered of her fire could be truly rekindled.

“I have a suspicion, but it doesn’t matter right now. We will deal with the Pure later. For now, you need to relearn everything you know, step by step. Begin you first form again, at half speed…”