Cause and Effect

It's really frustrating when things happen without being able to explain them. Like Déjà vu, or why people buy wooden fruit. Little things that end up bugging you all day... Such as...

"Where the fuck have you been?" Ty asks his sister as she finally arrives in Music. Poppy and I had been surprised when we arrived this morning to find him on his own, with Echo nowhere to be seen. Turns out they had some fight, and he hadn't seen her all weekend. "You missed your shift."

Echo simply rolls her eyes and sits down with us, not acknowledging her brother. I've known some awkward silences in my time... But this is... Overbearing.

Poppy finally breaks the silence by tapping Echo on the shoulder. "You've... Got something on your neck." She informs her quietly. I sneak a peek and immediately recognise the mark on her skin... Figures Poppy wouldn't realise what it is.

"Oh, so you were with some fuckboy, makes total sense, if in doubt sleep with the nearest warm body, right?" Ty cuts in, startling Poppy.

"I don't have to explain myself to you." Echo finally answers. I can almost feel the sadistic pleasure she's taking from letting Ty's rage boil over. "Not my fault the only woman you care about is Mummy dearest." She adds spitefully.

Ty stands suddenly, surprising even me. It's at this point I realise the rest of the classroom is completely silent. "She's your mother too, and she's sick. Maybe if you weren't so focused on being a slut you'd remember that!" He snarls. Echo stands in response, both tempers at a fever pitch.

The slap is sudden and deafening... But mostly unexpected. Ty recoils, looking in shock at the aggressor, not Echo but Poppy. My sister's eyes are filled with tears, but lit with a fire I don't often see from her.

All of us are awestruck by the outburst, until Poppy grabs her bag and runs out of the room without another word. Echo cackles and sits back down, satisfied in watching Ty's crush turn her back on him. The man himself still seems petrified. I can't say either reaction matters to me.

I stand and rush out of the room in pursuit. Light truancy is a small price to pay to look after Poppy. She hasn't gotten far, I see her leaning against a wall outside the music building, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looks to me as I approach, her expression is racked with guilt, but still visibly furious.

"Come on." I reach out my hand. "Let's go somewhere private." I explain, best not to be caught out of class, it won't improve anything. She takes my hand and we venture away from the built up area to a more run-down part of the campus. Looks like an old science building from the look of the classrooms through the window.

We venture inside, as expected it's practically deserted. Poppy cuts into the girls' bathroom, but doesn't let go of my hand, pulling me inside. It's not weird to go into a bathroom that's out of use, right? Like janitors. Seems fine to me.

My sister walks over to one of the sinks and runs the tap, before splashing water on her face. "I'm... I'm an idiot, aren't I?" She asks, looking in the mirror. "I thought he seemed like a nice guy, just misunderstood..."

"So you really do like him, huh?" I surmise. "Look, I don't know what the deal is with those two, but people say some fucked-up stuff when they're angry. It doesn't mean he's a monster, and you aren't stupid for having faith in people."

Poppy turns to me, leaning back against the sink. "It's not just that... It's... I don't like-like people very often, and it seems like every time I do I let myself get my hopes up." She clarifies. "It all seems so... Chaotic. Like, why would I take a drive in a hurricane if I'm safe at home?"

I sigh and walk closer, leaning back against the sink next to her. "Good question. Maybe being safe isn't the most important thing? Maybe taking that risk, for better or worse, is better than just hiding away." I ponder.

"That's the thing... Right now, I don't think he's worth it." Poppy admits, moving closer and leaning on my shoulder.

I snort at Poppy's hesitation. "That's fine, it doesn't have to be him, we're only eighteen, you don't have to worry about it until you want to." I reply.

"But I want to worry about it!" Poppy moans. "Why is it so easy for everyone else? They see someone the like, they go out, and they have sex until they're bored and find the next someone... I can't even get past step one." She complains.

"Sex isn't that big of a deal, you know, I barely recall my first time. You know what I do remember? My first kiss, my first love letter, the first time I danced with a girl." I reminisce. This is actually true, but I think my hazy memory of losing my virginity is more related to the amount of **** I'd consumed.

Poppy tuts at my reassurance. "Easy for you to say, you've done it." She points out. "Besides, your first dance was with Rosie, and I wrote that letter."

Hang on, what?

"Wait, you sent me that love letter on Valentine's day?" I ask, Poppy's face scrunching up as she realises she wasn't meant to tell me that.

"Sorry..." She whimpers. "All my friends were sending them to their boyfriends and... Well, I said I had one. So, instead I sent it to the most important guy in my life. I mean, who loves me more than you?" She counters with her puppy dog eyes looking up from my shoulder. Well that's just unfair.

I put my arm around her to pull her closer. "No one." I relent, being mad at her would require herculean strength I don't possess. Looking into those big blue eyes is like staring out into sea... Calming... Wondrous... Unlike anything else on the Earth.

I don't realise how long I stare into her eyes.

I don't realise how close we've gotten.

I don't even realise when I press my lips to hers.

Until it's all too late.

After a few seconds Poppy pulls away and backs off, her fingers covering her mouth. "I... Why did you do that?" She shrieks. Alarm bells ring in my head, this isn't like Rosie or Marie, I made the move, I kissed her. "You're... I'm your sister! We can't... I don't..." She panics, pacing back and forth.

"Poppy, I'm sorry, I-" I begin.

"Stop!" She interjects, tears in her eyes again. "I trusted you." She growls, her voice breaking. Those words run around my mind as she escapes the bathroom... Escapes me. Trusted. Past tense. I think back to the question Marie asked me on the shopping trip.

Now I have a reason to feel guilty.