Cats are Freeloaders

Jack slowly did a slumped-shouldered one-eighty and spotted Patches, Holly’s calico cat, sitting down in the center of his bed and staring up at him with wide green eyes. Her eyes flicked to his side, and the colorful feline's tail flicked around behind her as the hairs on her back stood up on end. He glanced to his side and spotted Theta, then did a double-take when he realized that the cat was staring directly at his genie.

“Uh…” Jack mumbled. “Can she see you?”

“Correct.” Theta growled through grit teeth, the wide-eyed and very serious expression on her mousey face sending a jolt of anxiety through Jack’s nervous system. He’d never seen her look at anything like that, and was almost worried for Patches’ safety for the first time in his life.

“How? I thought I wished that only me and Cindy could see you.”

“For all humans that haven't influenced by another genie, this would be correct. Animals in general are born with the ability to see and sense incorporeal beings such as myself, but that would be beside the point, in this case… Isn’t that right, Sigma?”

“Wut?” Jack asked, wondering where she’d gotten that name from. When he glanced back to Patches, however, he realized something was different about her.

Her big and once-green eyes were quickly consumed by a bright and piercing color of scarlet, clashing heavily with the formerly black and linear pupils in their centers, which form into a deep dark shade of blue in the shape of bizarre-looking letter-E’s.

“Holy shit!” He gasped, taking a few quick steps back as his big goofy dick finally began to show signs of deflating. “I knew that cat was evil!”

“Excuse me?” A woman’s voice, one that was carrying a thick English accent, said from the back of Jack’s mind at the same time Patches’ eye flicked toward his direction, her head still attentively pointed at Theta. “I’m not the one who’s leading a Hellhound around our home, Jackson.”

“I believe you have me confused with someone else, Sigma.” Theta said, then her mood, expression, and body-language instantly shifted back to their original, emotionless states. “I am but a humble servant to my Master, who is uncomfortable being called such.”

“What the fuck is happening right now?”

“Well, young man, it looks like you’ve been tricked into signing a contract with one of the most dangerous-...”

Jack felt himself blink, and while the reflex to do so was natural enough to go unnoticed, he realized that the voice’s sudden halt was likely due to his genie doing something without his permission, despite everything still looking as it did before-hand aside from Patches’ eyes now being directed towards Theta with her head cocked to the side.

“Apologies.” Theta said, craning her head back to face him. “This one tends to exaggerate, and I’d rather that she didn’t unnecessarily frighten you like she was about to.”

“... How on Earth did you do that?” Patches’ disembodied voice asked, sounding much less antagonistic than it did before. “And what all did you just do to me?”

“What the fuck is happening right now?” Jack asked again, growing more annoyed than he was worried by the second. “Seriously…”

“Your sister’s cat is a younger cousin of mine, one that currently has a physical form of her own.” Theta said, turning back to the cat. ”And I’ve suppressed almost every form of magic she has control over, taken away her capability for dishonesty, and made it so that she will always love you and I unconditionally.”

“... Okay, weird, but why is she here in the first place?” He asked. “Please don’t tell me that Holly’s had a genie granting stupid wishes for her this entire time.”

“I highly doubt that your sister is aware of her true nature, Jack. But that’s a very good question, this does not feel like mere coincidence. Please, answer my Master, Sigma.”

“Certainly, dear!” Patches, or Sigma, happily said, then jumped down from his bed with her tail high in the air, causing Jack to step back nervously. “I am but a simple freeloader, Jackson. For the last six months, I’ve been wandering endlessly from town to town, and Holly was the first human to not only let me live in her home, but to always feed me in a timely manner for as long as she has thus far, all without me needing to brainwash her into doing so! Also, the amount of table scraps the rest of your family willingly shares with me fills my heart to the brim with a deep sense of love and belonging that I’ve never known in this lifetime.”

“... But I don’t feed you table scraps.” Was all Jack got out of that, scratching his head in confusion.

“And I repaid your unkindness in kind by getting cat hair on the clothes you leave lying around in your room as often as I could, but that was before Miss Theta’s humble decision just now to alter my feelings towards you. In any other case, I’d be positively livid under these circumstances! However, I’m assuming that this fate is extremely merciful compared to the many unspeakable horrors she could’ve invoked upon-”

“That’s enough, Sigma.” Theta said, her monotone and chipmunk voice carrying a hint of warning along with it. On some level, it reassured Jack that she had his back in case his sister’s Posh-speaking demon-cat decided to attack them. “There are two other ‘Eta’s, and my sisters have done far worse than any legend my name may be tied to. Surely you must be mistaking me for one of them, wouldn’t you say?”

“You have sisters?” Jack asked, then remembered what was said a moment ago. “Wait, you said this is your cousin, right?”

Geeze, he thought to himself. Being terrified and horny at the same time made it hard to focus on everything that was happening and being said. That and, well, he doubted he could’ve really kept up with it all even if he didn’t have a foot-long love-missile dangling between his thighs and sending his creative thoughts into a spiral of perverted ideas.

“Aha!” Sigma’s human voice laughed, while her physical form simultaneously meowed. “You’re just as daft as ever, I see.”

“Yes and yes, Jack, and no, I can’t see us all getting together for an orgy any time soon.” Theta sighed. “There are twenty-four genies in total. Based on the specific molecular catalyst of our creation, coupled with the inherent magnitude of our power, we categorize and identify our familial relation with one another by a top-to-bottom ranking in the Greek Alphabet.”

“... Compared to the rest of them, how strong are you?”

Theta turned back to him, smiling the first genuine smile he’d ever seen on her gorgeous face, as slight as it was.

“I may not have the title of Alpha just yet, but I’m currently at the top of our little food chain.”

“Nice.” Jack chuckled, feeling a bit relieved finally. “So, there’s nothing to worry about then?”

“Nope!” Sigma’s voice chimed. “At least, not until Espil-”

Jack blinked again, and more than just the silencing of their housecat’s psychic yammering followed.

And it technically wasn’t a blink, being that he didn’t reopen his eyes after they had quickly shut on their own accord.

The last thing Jack remembered before falling into a deep and dreamless slumber was wishing to be in his room with the intention of going to bed.