Cat's in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon

Written in collaboration with Shadowmage

“Ooh yeah girl, you know you like it like that.” grunted Brad into the woman’s ear. She tried to push him away but his overbearing muscles kept her ass grinding against his crotch. The club music way too loud for her to call for help, it was the perfect crime just like always. “Maybe we can go up to my hotel room later?”

“Fuck off!” She hissed, struggling to pry at least one finger off her hip… when suddenly they were all off. The burly man’s entire being just flopped in place. Standing, but without any lights on upstairs. The girl didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and bolted.

He just stood there for a minute. Considering his life and what had led up to it.

Brad was completely entranced by the pheromones in the air. One that guided him to what he really wanted… this beautiful chair.

“Oh god yes!” He roared as he ground his dick against the barstool. Humping for all he was worth. “That’s right girl! You’re the one for me! UNGH UNGH UNGH!”

And as the bouncers tried desperately to separate the strange man from the company’s property, or at least throw them both out, they missed on seeing three people giggling to themselves from the bathroom.

“Oh fuck! That’s fucking amazing!” Mindy laughed, having to wipe a tear from her eye she was laughing so hard. “That guy’s such an asshole but he partly owns the club so no one’s been able to stop him from perving on girls.”

I was also calming down in my laughter, enjoying this **** plot immensely. I could even see Ivy had gotten some enjoyment in entrancing a jackass. “You know I could have just beaten him up.”

“Yeah, but he would have sued you or something. If he fucks a stool he’ll be ruined forever. And if he wants to sue anyone, it’d be Poison fucking Ivy. Why would he ever do that?”

I was definitely beginning to see her point in using Ivy this way. “Well, any other ideas?”

Another evil smirk crossed Mindy’s lips. “How about we make things a little hornier in here? I’ve seen what our new friend can do after all.”

I was really starting to like this girl

“Antidote, antidote, where would that green bitch keep an antidote…”

Catwoman was normally an expert in finding and taking what she wanted, Harley once commenting she could smell diamonds through a wall, but this was tricky. Ivy’s plant based room was chaotic, not the usual kind of laser system Selina could break into.

Why was she looking for an antidote? Why, she was horny of course. Something about the kiss she’d shared with Ivy had done something to her, and there had to be a way to stop this cat’s growing itch.

“Hmmmgrgrgmmfff!”

“Hush Harley, I’m looking for… wait, Harley?!”

Amidst the violation of her roommate’s privacy Selina shot her head up to find her third roommate. Bound and gagged and hanging from the ceiling only supported by various vines wrapped around her in a very traditional BDSM way.

“Oh! Oh god…” She stammered, slowly backing out the door she came from. “S-sorry Harls, I had no idea you and Ivy were-”

Angry eyes glared down at the cat, “GNGFFNGGGHHHGG!!” Spat Harley through her vine gag.

“Uh, didn’t quite catch that hun.” said Selina. “Can I take a swing and guess you want to come down?”

“DRRRRR!” Harley groaned with a roll of her eyes.

After a minute of cat scratches and clown acrobatics, Harley was back on solid ground. “Whew! Thanks cat! There was so much blood in my head I think my face was turning pink!” Harley grinned, patting her face to let loose some of the leftover blood. “Why you here anyway?”

“That’s my line.” replied the leather clad woman, folding her arms as she studied the naked acrobat. “Why are you here while Pamela is out sucking dicks out at the club?”

Harley looked a little hurt at that. “Oh. Is that where she went? I… I was thinking she was just taking her time coming back to me…”

“Well she isn’t.” Selina bluntly told her, scratching her arm slightly in irritation. “Now, help me find Ivy’s antidote collection.”

Selina was already deep into another cabinet of combs when Harley registered what she said. “Hm? Did she poison someone she doesn’t want to kill or somefin?”

“Yeah, me.” growled the cat, “She kissed me now I’m feeling way too… look, just help me find it. Can't make heads or tails of this damn garden.”

Harley nodded, took one step towards being helpful, then spun around in realisation. “It’s spring!”

“I know what the bloody season is, Harley.”

“Nah nah nah.” The clown waved off, “Pams all hot and bothered cause it must be plant mating season! That’s why she used her vines on my cunt, sucked off some guy and kissed you! It explains everything!”

Selina considered this. “I… I guess we haven’t been roommates for very long. It’d really explain her attitude today.”

Harley puffed out her chest, “Ol Harleen still got some psych brain left in her!”

“...is it contagious?” Was Catwoman’s only question, gripping her friend’s arms tightly. “Harley, is it fucking contagious!?”

“Hey! I dunno!” She whined, “I’m just hypothemesizin here cat! Probably not, if it was contagious then I’d be feeling it where she licked me, which would mean I’d have a deep ol itch right up my love hole.”

Selina’s body shuddered, her horny body was picturing the image of Ivy and Harley locked in love making and it wasn’t doing her any good. “H-Harley… please…”

“Hm? Want me to go in more detail?”

“N-”

“Well there was a big ol vine that got waaaayyy up inside me. I never knew tentacles could be so good but when Ivy hit my cervix and started drilling I knew I was in love at first cum!” She reminisced, not even realising the state she was putting Selina into. “Guess my big green plant knows how to really fuck a girl up so she’s reaaally satisfied. You ever feel that Cat? When your whole body feels tranquil after a really good f-”

“FUCKING LICK ME HARLEY!”

“Wha-?!”

Harley Quinn didn’t get to finish her thought. Catwoman had jumped up and begun riding her painted face for all she could get from it. Catsuit zipped down as far as it could go until it showcased both slit and hole. Harley could only vaguely support her friend for a few seconds before they tumbled back onto Ivy’s plant bed. It was also where the cat’s heated pussy threatened to suffocate Harley, rubbing up and down over her mouth and nose without any chance to breathe.

But ever the quick thinker, Harley just rolled with the punches and shot her tongue out into the pussy’s pussy. If Ivy was off sucking dudes then Harley could lick cats! It’s only fair!

Selina was gone. Horny body too much to do anything but hump Harley’s face as quick as she could. Maybe twist her uncovered nipple, but it was pure instinct at this point. Catwoman was just a mess of sweat and **** pleading desire.

Her first orgasm came and went with such little fanfare neither was entirely sure it happened. Especially when orgasms 2-9 happened with increasing **** and intensity for the poor cat.