Carry on alone

I still can't believe it.

"WHY, EVGENY?" I scream, and beat on his chest. "You and I were supposed to make it!"

I curl into a ball on the ground next to him, sobbing, clinging tightly to my rifle.

"I'm really fucked now." I say to myself, shivering, snot and tears flowing from my face. "What the hell am I going to do?"

I think about going for ****, but there's no way I can shoot with my hands shaking so badly. My nerves are completely fried. Any hope I had for a good ending to my story is gone now. Evgeny is gone, and I'm next. This city is going to swallow us whole.

I sit up, and try to wipe my tears. I still have duties to carry out. Things will be even harder now, without Evgeny, but I need to try and calm down. My **** will come, but I have to survive this moment, right now. There's still somebody out there, and they know where I am. I crawl back over to Evgeny and dig in his pockets for his map and compass, and look it over. I take his periscope, and sling his rifle over my back.

Leaving his side is the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. It crushes me. Evgeny doesn't deserve to be left for the crows.

I press forwards, crawling beneath a spot where the building is blown out to stay out of view. I come up once I pass it and manage to slip away from the scene of my worst nightmare. It takes a long time for my eyes to finally dry up.

The day begins to wind down. I pass the chemical plant and enter the factory district, in the north of Stalingrad. I approach a small group of soldiers carrying a few boxes through the street.

"Excuse me." I say to them. "Which way is the Red October factory?"

One of them takes a hand off of his box to point.

"That way, comrade." He says. "It's close."

I thank him, and follow his direction.

Eventually, I cross some train tracks and end up in a cluster of buildings. I approach three soldiers who are sitting against a wall. They look like a bunch of kids.

"Hey devushka!" One of them whistles. I stop in front of them. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for a group of snipers." I answer. "They're supposed to be somewhere around here."

"Snipers?" One of them asks, and leans forwards.

"Damn!" He laughs. "Look at that rifle! Who did you have to blow to get that?"

"I have killed more men than you." I tell him bluntly. "Don't make me add to my list."

I leave the three of them where they are and enter the building. A barefoot, weathered soldier sits on a battered chair in an undershirt, smoking a cigarette. He looks up at me with glassy eyes.

"Can I help you?" He asks.

"I've been sent here to meet with a group of snipers." I tell him. "Do you know where I could find them?"

"Not in this building." He says. "Sorry."

"Thank you anyways." I tell him and head back outside.

"Nice ass!" One of the soldiers from before catcalls me. Another whistles. They begin to snicker among themselves. I ignore them and carry on to the next building, a big, open industrial building, which has taken some serious damage. I approach two soldiers, sitting on the ground and leaning against a machine. One of them is loading a PPSh drum.

"Who are you?" The one with the drum asks.

"Kulikova." I answer. "I'm new here."

"We've been here for five days."

"What is this place?" I ask.

"This was the plate mill."

"Part of the steel plant, correct?"

"Correct."

"I received orders to come here, and meet with a group of snipers who are supposed to be operating out of this factory."

"Snipers?" One of them asks, stretching his head to see past me. "Like them?"