Career counseling.

The career counselor was Mr. Ortiz, my homeroom teacher. It wasn’t the first time we had to talk to him about career choices to get guidance, and since I was mostly decided on what I wanted to do for a couple years now, he knew already.

“Mr. Brooks, are you still set on pursuing a career in music?” the old teacher asked me.

I nodded, sitting across from him in his office. “Yes.”

Mr. Ortiz sighed. “Very well, but what is your plan for the future? What is it that you want to do that is related to music?”

“...”

“I watched you perform in the talent show, of course, and I was pleasantly surprised. I was glad to see you perform at all, but the music teacher praised your technical skills. It’s clear that you have talent and have put in the work to become as good as you are. Where can you put those skills to use, however? What can you do with your skills that will let you earn your livelihood? Have you thought about that?”

One idea crossed my mind, at least. The channel we had with Isabelle could be one thing, but that was a big maybe. To get to the point where we could live off of it we’d have to become huge, and the internet was already full of other, better creators.

“I know I want to create music,” I told him, looking at his desk more than at him. I felt somewhat ashamed that, at this point in the year, I still didn’t have a plan for my close future.

I expected some objections, some criticism… but no.

“Hmm. Good, you HAVE given it some thought. I know you said you wanted to focus on performance, but you’d be looking at a degree in musical theory in this case. Finding a job as a songwriter, composer or music producer would take work, but it wouldn’t be much different than any other one with specialized skills. Let’s see… If I remember correctly, good universities that excel in music theory would be…”

Mr. Ortiz began to browse through the files he had in his laptop, giving me three recommendations for school, even. A small smile crossed my lips. I could appreciate he was genuinely trying to help me instead of telling me that pursuing a career in music was a waste of time. Still… None of the schools he mentioned were particularly close to town.

“How is… Hyogen University in music theory?” I asked him.

“Our own university, huh? They offer the courses, yes, but their focus lies in the sciences, like biology, chemistry and such. Much like here in our high school, the arts are not our forte.”

I nodded and tried to suppress a grimace, but Mr. Ortiz noticed. “Is there a particular reason you need to stay close to the city? Is moving away or daily commuting an issue?”

“Ah, w-well… Not exactly. It’s…” I let out a deep sigh. “There are people I want to stay close to. It doesn’t have to be here. Anywhere is fine. I just… can’t leave them.”

Mr. Ortiz smiled kindly at me. A smile far **** than the words that left his mouth. “Relationships come and go, Mr. Brooks. I’m sure you believe this to be the most important thing in your life, but…”

I felt my face stiffen as I looked Mr. Ortiz in the eyes. When I saw him go white as a sheet and stop mid-sentence, I knew I was glaring daggers at him that could’ve pierced his throat.

“My apologies. I overstepped my boundaries.”

Yeah, he did. Still, not like I didn’t get where he was coming from. Even from the sidelines, in my years of utter silence in this school, I saw plenty of couples openly professing their love for each other only to break up in a month or two, unable to look at the other with anything but loathing.

Despite how well my relationship with the girls was going, even taking into account the connection between us, even if we wanted this to last forever… We couldn’t guarantee it would be. Plenty of foreign elements could get in our way, and now distance and diverging paths were our biggest threats.

“Thank you for your guidance, sir,” I said, standing up from the chair.

“Y-Yes, of course. Could you tell Mr. Lopez to come in next, please?”

I nodded and walked out of the office, telling my classmate to head in next.

I went to the club room alone during lunch. The girls didn’t come. I think they didn’t even meet amongst themselves, and I also didn’t meet with Thomas or any of the guys. We all needed time alone. Seeing each other’s faces might mess with our thoughts.

In my case, though, it didn’t matter much. The more I thought about it… the more I became convinced that I’d be able to give up university studies if it meant staying with them somehow. I could pursue music anywhere, even if I had to work in something unrelated. I would climb my way up as a waiter if I had to, working at the fanciest restaurants in the city. I’d never give up on music, so it didn’t have to be my job. Problem was I would never ask the girls to do the same. Their studies were too important to their families, and I couldn’t ask them to leave everything behind to run away with me or something reckless like that.

What should I do? We’d have to make a decision eventually, sooner than we wanted. We’d have to talk about it before making said decisions, too, and that was not going to be easy or pretty.

My stomach hurt the more I thought about us being separated. As an anxious person, being scared of possible futures was a daily thing, but this… It was one of the few times in my life I’ve been absolutely terrified.

Patreon.