Can't sleep either?

I don't usually use the single room above the main hall. I've got it, of course, just in case I ever really feel the need to be alone, but most of the time I spent in one of the wings with one of the girls. Their rooms always felt more like home, especially considering how often I used to have to wake up in the middle of the night for feedings...

It was that thought that kept me awake and I ended up stumbling down the circular staircase to the kitchen around two in the morning. I was tired, but just couldn't concentrate on anything but expecting the cry of an infant at any second. It's a hard habit to break, especially if you're gearing up for it again.

I blearily started a tea kettle going over the burner. It only took a few moments before the high pitched whistle echoed through the room, bringing me further awake. Shit... didn't want to wake up everybody. I grabbed at the item with a pot holder and shifted it away as the whistle dropped to a slow drone. Tea bags... there... totally doing the herbal thing, because I want to get back to sleep, not stay up all night.

"You got any chamomile?" Kaila asked from behind me, her voice sounding tired.

"Don't usually keep much around, but I think so..." I stated, finding my ex-wife standing in the doorway. She was dressed in an old green bathrobe that I hadn't seen in years.

"Mind making me a cup? I mean, since you're up." Kaila asked, looking at the small wooden table in the corner of the kitchen. Against one wall we'd set a bench into the wall itself, and the table also was firmly ensconced in the supports as well. "I always wanted one of those."

"What?"

"A breakfast nook. I know... dumb, and so middle class, but I just... always wanted one. "

"I remembered you mentioning it. So... I put it in. The kids love it. Especially when I make pancakes."

"Yeah, I can see the crayon marks." Kaila moved to the table and settled into it.

I finished pouring the steaming hot water into two mugs. They were both plain, but we kept the plain ones around for guests. I think my personal mug was somewhere in the depths of the washing machine, and didn't have the heart to go looking for it at this particular time.

"You mind herbal?" I asked Kaila, noting the tea bags closest at hand were decorated with a sleeping bear. Seemed to be the most appropriate for the current time.

"Sounds great. No sugar though, please, I'm trying to cut down."

After a few more moments of preparation, I slid into the opposite side of the little nook, passing the mug to Kaila.

"Thanks." She said with a smile, and looked out of the small window towards the surrounding darkened fields.

"You're welcome. " I said plainly. "And I mean that. I... want you to be welcome here. We didn't end things well."

"No... we really didn't, and I really regretted that." Kaila nodded, taking a tentative sip. "Too hot."

"Yeah, give it a minute. Just... I'm sorry it didn't work."

"I didn't want to be a mom, Brent. I made a choice. It wasn't... I regret the choice, but I made it, and I have to be the one to live with it." Kaila sighed and sipped again at the tea. "Still think it needs sugar, but I'm getting used to it."

"The tea or the choice?"

"Both I think." Kaila said. "Thanks for letting me see Danny again. You didn't have to. I know you didn't have to. Just... means the world to me. Feel like I missed so much."

"You don't have to leave, you know." I offered.

"I feel like I'd just... I missed too much. I see you all happy, and how my life is going these days... I feel like I wouldn't fit in to the picture very well. I feel like I didn't know what I had when I had it."

"Oh yeah, you went to therapy." I took a swallow of the tea. Didn't know what she was talking about, I thought the honey made it perfectly sweet enough. "Feel statements, self sacrificing bullshit, putting everybody else first. I don't want a ****, Kaila. Never wanted one."

"What?"

"Seriously, I want you back, you want to come back, let's not dance around this. We lost enough time as it is."

"That's it? Just... drop the college, forget about the guy I'm dating..."

"He any good in bed?"

"What does that have to do with..."

"That's a big fat No."

"I can't talk. He won't let me talk in bed, because the second I do he gets limp. I swear, third guy in a row with that thing going on. It's weird!" Kaila rolled her eyes. "What is it with guys these days? They want presents, everything their way, and they all want to play video games before being fed. I swear it's like talking to a monkey sometimes."

"So... you didn't exactly keep me around for conversation."

"Look, I want... maybe we could just start with sex."

"Start with..."

"That's someplace we both were really good with. I mean, if I moved back, which I'm not saying I am, but if I did... "

I stood from the bench and walked around the table to where she sat. Kaila inclined her head up at me.

"You already have a room." I smiled at her, before lowering my lips down onto hers for a soft kiss. It didn't stay a soft kiss for long, as Kaila pushed back at me hard, kissing me back with vigor.