Calming the Kitties

You chuckle nervously as Unohana continues to giving you that soft smiling stare, one hand reaching up and scratching the back of your neck as you speak, “Er…are you sure that is a good idea Unohana-chan? I mean…a woman of your caliber deserves to be the center of a man’s attention and at the moment I am quite literally up to my neck in wives…I don’t know if I can give you the attention you really deserve…”

Instead of disappointment or irritation as you expected Unohana simply giggles, her eyes closing as her smile grows a bit, “Very selfless, that is one of the things I like about you John-kun…now please, if you’ll follow me we can gather my things and retire home for the evening.”

“B-But Unohana-chan,” you start to protest but Unohana’s smile turn hollow, the thick miasma of her displeasure filling the room causing your words to die in your throat.

“What is it husband?” Unohana’s voice is firm but gentle, a no nonsense voice that reminds you of your grandmother when she softly admonished your grandfather, “surely you wouldn’t turn me away would you? I am a woman of much experience and I know a great deal about Soul Society that even Nanao-chan does not know.” Unohana’s eyes open as her smile takes one a completely different tone, the murk of her previous anger dissipating while her tongue subtly dances over the very edge of her lips. Unohana comes closer to your form and her voice drops in pitch, a huskier and smoother voice calling out to you as she speaks, “And I am also a woman of great…practice in all matters. I feel you will enjoy the fruits of this…experience John-kun~”

Unohana’s words have your face a bright cherry red, her teasing tone and subtle flirtation causing blood to rush from the top of our skull to a zone far more southward, “U-Unohana-chan…”

With a lyrical giggle Unohana taps a single finger against your lips, her body turning away with simple grace as she speaks again, “Later John-kun…first we must gather my things and help my students prepare.”

For several moments you just watch Unohana walk away, your eyes glued to her form as she gracefully strides away, almost seeming to glide over the ground with sheer elegance and mystique. However the spell is sharply broken as you feel a paw and a small hand smack you upside the head, your focus resetting and your mind clearing as you turn to see an agitated Yoruichi and cross looking Yachiru still perched on your shoulders, “Eh heh…er, hi?”

Yoruichi is the first to speak, her tone of slight irritation mixing with her usual good humor, “Go ahead and keep staring John-koi…maybe if you’re lucky her clothes will burn off.”

For her part Yachiru simply huffs, her cheeks puffing out in anger as she speaks, “Nii-chan is being mean! Not paying the least bit attention to Yachiru, maybe Nii-chan really is a bad guy after all!”

With a sigh you reach up with one hand, your finger curling under Yoruichi’s chin which quickly reduces the flash step goddess into a quivering mass of fur and purring on your shoulder. With Yoruichi placated you face Yachiru, an apologetic look on your face as you speak, “I’m sorry Bubblegum-chan, I didn’t really plan any of this but how about I make it up to you? You come home with me and have dinner with my family, does that sound alright?” Still huffing in anger Yachiru shakes her head, your body shaking with soft laughter as you speak again, “Then afterwards you’ll have me all to yourself, how’s that?”

For some reason Yachiru perks up even faster than you expected, her hands grabbing hold of your coat tightly as she speaks, “R-Really? Does Nii-chan promise?”

You nod your head, patting the top of her pink haired head with your one free hand as you speak, “I promise Bubblegum-chan, I promise.”

You are about to say more but you suddenly feel a powerful pressure wrap itself around your waist, your gaze turning down thus causing you to miss the rather mischievous and plotting gaze that Yachiru gives you in the midst of your diverted attention, “Genryusai-sama!”

Blinking a few times you find none other than Lilynette, her head poking out from the zipper of your coat while the rest of her body leeches onto your chest like the lamprey you were beginning to suspect her of being, “Er…hi Lilynette-chan…I take it you are feeling better?”

Lilynette nods quickly, her head jerking backward thus turning your attention to the other occupant in the room, “Luppi-chan feels better too, thank you Genryusai-sama!”

“Er…it’s John…but you’re welcome,” you mutter, turning up from the green haired leech to the sheepish looking Luppi, “And you must be Luppi-chan…it’s very nice to meet you.”

Luppi nods, scratching the back of her neck with her sleeved hand as she speaks, “Yeah…look, thanks for helping us. You’re not like any of the other Shinigami we’ve met…most would just kill us on sight.”

Shrugging your shoulders slightly you speak up, “It’s not a problem Luppi-chan, if you’re not here to fight then I don’t see why we can’t be friendly towards one another.”

Blushing a bit Luppi nods, “Yeah…I guess you’re right…”

Feeling Lily give you another squeeze you can’t help but sigh, the one hand that was patting Yachiru moving to Lily’s helmet covered head, “You do know I’m supposed to keep an eye on you just to make sure you don’t try anything right?” Luppi nods which prompts you to continue, “And that I’m supposed to ask questions about our presence here right?” Once again Luppi nods, your hand patting Lily’s head as you speak, “Alright…first question, is Lilynette-chan always like this?”

At this question Luppi giggles a bit, her head shaking back and forth as she speaks, “No, she is not Genryusai-sama. You see, Lilynette is technically only half of a soul, she is one part of a much stronger hollow and since she is so far from her other ‘half’ I think she must be reverting to a more childlike mentality to cope with the stress…but I wouldn’t worry, I think she should return to normal soon enough.”

With a sigh you nod, “Lovely…alright, next que-“

You are quickly cut off as a thick and unerring pressure assaults the room, the displeased voice of Unohana filling everyone’s ears as she calls out, “Oh Husband~ surely you don’t expect me to take all of this alone…”

Needless to say you are stuck with most of the bags on the way home…