Call her to the office

You have the secretary call Erica to the office and have her meet you in the principal's office.

Erica walks in and looks at you.

"I know you, you're my brother's creep friend. What's going on?"

Pause. Program.

"Erica, for the next week, every time you talk to a guy you find attractive, you will put your hand down the back of your panties and scratch your butt crack with one hand while you scratch your scalp the other and will not realize you are doing it unless the boy points it out or the conversation is over. For the next week, whenever you are talking to a female, you will vigorously scratch your crotch and not realize you are doing it. if someone asks you why you're doing it, you'll say 'just another bad case of crabs.'" Every morning this week, you will wake up believing you had a very erotic dream about all the senior boys ejaculating and pissing all over you in the gym while you had multiple orgasms and the rest of the school cheered the boys on."

You walk over to her and unzip her fly and give her a wedgie. "You not notice your fly is open or your panties are showing and will not try to fix your wedgie until the end of the day. After school you will go to a salon and get a sideways mohawk and shave your eyebrows off. You will find that look very sexy until you graduate. Also, every time you weigh yourself between now and graduation, you will think you are ten pounds too skinny, and you need to eat more and exercise less in order to be curvier."