Call a specialist

The only other time you’ve dealt with a ghost is… that time in Lavender Town. If only that creepy man and the perverted ghost girl would show up out of nowhere like they did before, maybe you could convince them to help you. Wait… didn’t that guy give you a card!?

You rifle through your backpack until you find a business card. There’s nothing written on it except a phone number, but it’s the only business card you remember getting on your adventure, so it must be his. You never learned exactly what he does, but he can clearly deal with ghosts in some way, so it can’t hurt to call and ask. You dial the number and wait anxiously for someone to answer.

The ringing stops with a click, but you don’t hear anything from the other side. Timidly, you say, “H-Hello?”

“Hello.” There’s that gloomy and serious voice again. It sends chills up your spine, even over the phone.

“Uh, hi! I have a ghost problem.”

“This isn’t a number for prank calls.”

“It’s not a prank! There’s this mansion on Cinnabar Island, and it has-”

“Mansion? I’ll be there by sundown.”

*beep*

That might be the shortest phone conversation you’ve ever had.

“Good evening,” the mysterious man says, standing beneath a low-lit sky as promised.

“Thank goodness you’re here!” you exclaim. “The ghost, it sexually harassed me, threatened to fuck me, and even wasted electricity-”

“Yeah yeah, we get it. The ghost’s a pervert. Who knew?” a girl’s voice sighs.

“Oh… she’s still around?” you ask nervously. “Of all the things to help with a ghost problem, another ghost wasn’t what I expected.”

The man comments, “Mm, perhaps I should have mentioned: Sally was an exorcist in life. She wasn’t very good, thus she is dead.”

“Stop saying unnecessary things, old man!” Sally snaps.

He continues, “She was bound to this world by a desire to try again, so I’ve been teaching her what I know. Rest assured, this matter is in good hands. Now…”

The man extends his hand, barely touching the tip of his finger to your forehead. Your vision goes white for a second, and when it clears, you feel a familiar presence. “Hey.” It’s Sally. She’s in your head again.

“Noooooooo!” you scream, flapping your arms and running around in circles. “Get her out get her out! She’s gonna take me to a retirement home and get me fucked again! Getting fucked because of a ghost isn’t much better than getting fucked by a ghost!”

Sally screams right back at you. Err, rather, she screams from within you. “Quiet down! I’m not gonna use your big tits to get laid this time! I have work to do and I need a body to do it!”

“That’s right,” the man adds. “The ghost isn’t native to this area. Unlike most spirits, this one migrates from place to place, specifically choosing mansions as its dwelling. Due to this ghost’s tendency to change location, I’ll be performing a Ritual of Spatial Binding, which will temporarily limit the ghost’s form to the vicinity of-”

“Ugh, you suck at explaining stuff!” Sally interrupts. “Basically, the old man’s gonna stay out here and make sure the ghost doesn’t go anywhere while we go inside and kick its ass!”

Your stomach drops. “You expect me to go inside!? Nonononooooo!”

Sally growls, “Ugh, you’re so annoying! I didn’t wanna have to do this, but you’re not giving me a choice!”

Your body locks up and you start moving like a tin man as you and Sally fight for control over your limbs, but Sally eventually wins. “Alright! Load me up, old man, and I’ll have this done in time for dinner!”

“Between the two of you screaming, I’ll have a headache for a week. Here.” The gloomy man dumps a pile of junk into your hands, ranging from high-tech gadgets to plain, household items. You haven’t the faintest clue what any of this stuff is for, and you can barely hold it all by cradling it in your arms. “And just as a reminder, I won’t be playing the hero. I stand to gain nothing by entering a situation with an angry spirit after you’ve failed to exorcise it.”

“I know, I know! You worry too much. This ghost’s gonna be a piece of cake!”

No longer in control of your words or actions, Sally marches you into the mansion while holding you hostage in your own body. This is the WOOOOOOOOOORRRRST!