Call Sue

I couldn’t stop thinking about how badly I’d fucked it up at the grocery store.

Those polite smiles. The way the pregnant women had looked at me like I was just some awkward guy making small talk instead of someone who wanted to drop to his knees and worship the curve of their bellies. I’d been so confident with Lisa because she’d been starving for it. These women weren’t. They were glowing and content and probably went home to men who still fucked them properly.

I needed to learn how to do this properly.

My thumb hovered over Sue’s name for a solid minute before I hit call.

She answered on the third ring, voice warm but a little wary.

“Hey. You okay?”

“No,” I said honestly. “Not really.”

I heard her shift, like she was settling in somewhere. “Talk to me.”

I paced my living room as I spoke.

“I went to the grocery store today. Saw a couple of pregnant women. Tried to flirt. It was fucking terrible. They looked at me like I was weird. And I realised… I don’t know how to do this. Not with women who aren’t already **** and neglected by their husbands.”

Sue was quiet, listening.

“I made dating app profiles,” I continued. “Matched with one woman who’s thirty-four weeks. We’ve barely started talking and I already don’t know what the fuck to say to her that doesn’t sound like I’m repeating the same creepy lines from the store.”

I took a breath.

“I need help, Sue. Real help. From someone who actually knows this world. Do you know any pregnant women? Or places where pregnant women hang out where I could… practice? Without coming across like a total creep?”

The silence on the other end stretched.

Then Sue let out a soft, disbelieving laugh.

“Jesus Christ, Ryan. You really went all-in on this, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I did.”

She was quiet again for a few seconds. When she spoke, her voice had changed — lower, more thoughtful.

“I don’t know any pregnant women personally right now who are single and looking,” she admitted. “But I know of some. Through friends of friends. Maternity yoga classes. A couple of the bigger baby stores do evening events sometimes. And there are apps that are more… targeted than the ones you’re probably on.”

She paused.

“But you’re not just asking for locations, are you?”

I closed my eyes. “No. I’m asking if you’ll help me. Tell me what to say. How to approach them. What actually works when a pregnant woman isn’t already unhappy in her relationship.”

Sue exhaled slowly.

“You want me to coach you on how to pick up pregnant women.”

“Yeah.”

Another long pause.

“I should tell you this is insane,” she said. “That you need to slow down. That Lisa’s going to call you in a few months like she promised and you should just wait.”

“But you’re not going to say that,” I replied.

“No,” she said quietly. “I’m not.”

I could hear the shift in her breathing again — the same one from last night. She was turned on by this. By how far gone I already was.

“Malc would lose his mind if he knew I was even having this conversation,” she added, voice careful. “But he’s not here right now. And you’re asking me for help.”

She let that sit.

“I can give you some advice,” she said at last. “Over the phone. Or… in person, if you want. I could walk you through how to talk to them. What they actually want to hear when they’re this far along. What makes them feel sexy instead of just maternal.”

My cock twitched hard.

Sue’s voice dropped a little.

“I could even… roleplay it with you. If that would help. Pretend to be a pregnant woman you’re trying to flirt with. See what works and what doesn’t.”

She was offering more than advice. We both knew it.

I stopped pacing.

“What do you want in return?” I asked.

Sue was quiet for a beat.

Then she said, soft but clear:

“I want to hear every detail afterward. Every woman you talk to. Every time you fuck one of them. I want you to tell me exactly how their bellies felt. How tight they were. Whether they let you cum inside them while they were carrying someone else’s baby.”

My breath caught.

“And I want to know,” she continued, “if you’re still thinking about Lisa while you’re doing it. Or if you’re already moving on to the next pregnant body.”

She let the words land.

“So. Do you still want my help, Ryan?”