Cain

I am Cain. No not the biblical Cain, though I share his sentiments. I am a demon in human skin. I see the world and nothing except disgust and contempt is what I feel.

Why do I feel this way you ask? I’ll tell you. Perhaps it started when I was young, when my dad would leave for months on end. Rarely was he ever home, and if he was he may as well not have been. I barely knew the man. He would come back from his long sojourn tired and angry. It was not uncommon that I was the one who he took his anger out on.

My mom on the other hand was a wretched woman. Unlike most mothers, she didn’t want anything to do with me. The words she repeatedly spoke to me as if it was her mantra?

“Get away from me. You’re a guy problem. Your dad will deal with you.”

Abandoned and bitter, I looked outward to see if maybe someone out in the larger world would be kind. I dreamed of being a group of friends who would do anything and everything together, but this was not the case. Every attempt at companionship was awkward and clunky. I didn’t get along well to say the least. Many of my so called “friends” left me. Probably for a good reason, but it only deepened my loneliness.

How can a child deal with that? The answer. He doesn’t. He hides from the horrible reality of his circumstances. No friends, no family, and definitely no lover. Yeah, the last time I tried talking to woman she told me something not too different from my mom. In essence, to her, I was a walking waste of oxygen and space. She had made that bluntly clear to me.

This world is hell, so why not tear it down? Why not scream and rage? Why not take what I please and be damned with the consequences. I will have what I want.

When I had finally shattered I was visited by a serpent in a dream. The serpent was both beautiful and terrifying. It was completely black, save for a single white dot upon its head. It spoke to me.