By laughing hysterically

After a few seconds of holding it in, Luke burst out into gut-busting laughter.

"This isn't fucking funny!" Andrew said in fierce but hushed tones. "Seriously, my dick just fell right off of me! In the middle of class!" This comment just made Luke laugh even harder. Turning around, Andrew stormed toward the door, muttering, "Fuck you, man," which made Luke **** his laughter under control.

"I'm sorry," said Luke, still giggling. "You just have to understand how insane that sounds."

"Trust me. I have the proof in my backpack," was Andrew's response.

"What do you...?" Luke began, before understanding hit him. "Oh. OH!" He started laughing again, and was **** to stifle it when he saw the serious expression on his friend's face. "Sorry, I just," more giggling, "Sorry, really, I'm sorry." When he finally managed to plaster a straight face on himself, Luke spoke, "So..." another smile crossed his lips, but he righted it shortly thereafter. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"You're the one majoring in transmogrification; I was hoping you would know something about how to fix this!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Luke stopped him. "This sounds like something you should talk to the nurses in health center about, rather than getting someone still learning to use an entirely unrelated school of magic to do something that sounds completely bonkers."

"No, but... well... it kind of was the result of maybe some mixed up schools of magic..." Andrew launched into the story of how the whole thing happened, including how this is somehow the result of a combination of alchemy and transmogrification.

"Woah," is all Luke could say after the story was done. "Well, I'm certainly out of my depth." After a pause, Luke had an idea. "Did you try saying the activation word again?"

"No, I don't remember what it was. Septo-something."

"Sectunisco?" asked Luke.

Andrew sat bolt upright. "That felt weird," he said, and started rifling through his bag. He pulled something out of it, wincing slightly as he did. It was a binder with a penis attached to it, and he had pulled it out by said phallus.