But when opportunity knocks...

Andrew quickly ran to shut the door. Ross just stared at Madison's unmoving form, mouth wide. He felt dizzy and leaned against a desk.

"Madison- she's- she's-"

"...a golem," Andrew finished. He bent to pick up her script and examined it. "She's a fucking golem."

"What the fuck?" Ross said. Andrew immediately shushed him.

"Dude, you've got to chill. Do you have any idea how awesome this is?" He kneeled over the crumpled form and lifted its head. It lolled limply in his hands.

Ross didn't even hear him. "She- she- I asked her out!" He slumped down into the desk, eyes still wide. "I asked her out and she said no! She can't be a golem!"

Andrew had lifted it and was trying to put it in a desk chair. "Apparently she can be," he grunted. "Now would you get Levinson for me?"

Ross watched as his friend shoved the golem crudely into a sitting position. Its head fell forward and hit the desk in front of it with a loud thump. He felt a sudden flash of indignant anger.

"Hey, watch it! That's Madison!"

Andrew turned and fixed him with a steely glare. "No it's not. Dude, don't you get it? There is no Madison! This machine was just pretending. Madison was a fictional character invented to make this lump of clay pass as human."

"Why would they do that?" Ross asked, his voice shriller than he intended. "Why would they make a student golem?"

"How should I know?" Andrew said as he hoisted up the professor golem. "All I know is now we've got twice as many sex golems. Now we won't have to take turns!"

"What the fuck? You can't fuck Madison! That's, like, ****!" Ross said. As the shock of seeing his friend turn into a hunk of inanimate matter faded, he was starting to get angry. "You need to put her back the way she was!"

Leaving the professor in a chair next to Madison, Andrew scowled at his friend. "Dude, you need to get ahold of yourself right now. It's not **** or **** or anything because these things don't have any more feelings or rights than a fucking lawnmower."

"How can you say that about Madison?" Ross cried. Andrew put a hand over his mouth and leaned in close.

"You need to shut the fuck up and think for a second. I'm sorry your friend isn't real, but this is a fucking opportunity. Stop being a pussy and fucking think about it. If she's just based on a script, then that means we can change the script."

Ross's eyes widened as the implication hit him. Andrew removed his hand, but Ross still didn't speak. He stared at the slumped figure in the desk and Andrew nodded with a malevolent smile.

"That's right. She didn't reject you because you're not her type or because she's a lesbian or ace or something. She rejected you because the script made her. So if we change the script, maybe she doesn't reject you."

Ross didn't respond, but Andrew could tell that his panic was subsiding. He was still looking at Madison, but the fear and shock in his eyes was replaced with something new.

Excitement.