But the stars we could reach

Nick could tell that Ella was nervous. She made it pretty easy, since she kept snapping the rubber-band on her wrist and wouldn’t look him in the eye.

I think I know why she’s feeling that way, too.

Ella kept glancing over at the other girls, and every time she did, she seemed to shiver slightly, like she was hesitating about something.

It didn’t take a genius to put those puzzle pieces together.

“Hey, Ella, do you want to get out of here?” Nick asked.

Ella gasped, and her eyes opened wide behind her bangs.

“E-eeehh-hhh!?” She squeaked out, nearly falling from her chair in shock. He couldn’t be… he wasn’t suggesting…

…

…Was he?

“I-I-I… I don’t… I…!” Ella fumbled through her derailing brain as she snapped the rubber-band on her wrist over and over again. “THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!”

It wasn’t helping.

Oh, Cinder wasn’t taking over or anything like that, and that was certainly a relief, but that didn’t mean Ella’s emotions were any more settled.

Is… is this how sex starts!? Ella started to freak out even more. She’d never done anything like this before, leave a party to be alone with a guy… she’d barely had any contact with a guy before in her life, at least not a real one! She was horribly naïve about this sort of thing, which is why she kept overreacting, and found it impossible for her to fully understand the situation she was placed in.

But… if it was Nick, then maybe…

“Just… just for a walk,” Nick clarified, realizing that he might have suggested something a little too overwhelming for her. “Do you want to go for a short walk away from everybody else? So we can talk, I mean.”

Ella’s eyes widened in realization, and she nodded. When Nick phrased it like that, it made things a lot easier to understand.

“Oh… okay!” She agreed. She couldn’t leave the table fast enough after hearing that.

Nick approached her, but then someone called out behind him, “Hey! Nick, where are you going?”

Drat. So much for making a hasty retreat while they weren’t looking!

He turned around to see Vivian staring at him curiously, and she wasn’t the only one. Several of the other girls were looking at him strangely. And by “strangely” it meant that Sylvia was looking hopeful and excited, Morgana was embarrassed, and Gina and Carly were both wearing knowing smiles on their faces. They knew what was up, when a boy and a girl snuck out of a party alone.

At the same time, Amelia’s expression was unreadable. Mary nodded in silent encouragement, even though she was definitely misunderstanding things, and Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin looked a little jealous. That wasn’t anything like the note of jealousy that flashed across Dakota’s face when he met her eyes, though.

In fact, the only people who were taking this rather normally were Dani, Kim, and Vivian, to Nick’s surprise. They all seemed rather ambivalent about Nick sneaking away from the party. Octavia and Nola were as well, but that was because they obviously had no investment in Nick one way or the other.

Nick was just grateful that Rose was still occupied with some of the other girls. Knowing her clinginess, she probably would have insisted that she come, too. But Vivian, she was just amused.

“Trying to go and get some steamy time, eh?” Vivian wiggled her eyebrows.

Nick shook his head. “We were just going for a walk,” he asserted firmly. “Ella needed some time to clear her head, that’s all.”

“R-right!” Ella’s head jerked up and down in a nod. “Just some… just some time to myself, that’s all, if that’s okay…”

“Oh yeah, sure! Not a problem!” Vivian nodded, playing with a lock of her hair. “Take all the time you need! We’ll just be having fun over here!”

Nick suspected that Vivian wasn’t buying the “we’re just going for a walk” story, but that was fine. Because that’s all they were doing, going for a walk.

And the sooner they got on with that, the better.

So, before anybody could say anything and make this even more stressful for Ella, Nick turned to her, and gestured for her to follow him. He had half a mind to take her by the hand- an assertive move like that, that’s what a master should be doing, right?- but he knew better. Something that aggressive would just make the poor girl shut down.

Thankfully, she followed him willingly, trailing behind him like an obedient dog wagging her tail, even though she clearly felt uncomfortable about the situation.

“…Sorry to drag the spotlight on you,” Nick apologized when they got far enough down the beach that nobody could hear them. “I would have preferred to just sneak away in silence, but apparently Vivian was watching for something like that…”

“N-no, it’s f-fine,” Ella assured him with a quick shake of her head. “I’m not bothered at all, don’t worry!”

He somehow doubted that, given the look of anxiety on her face.

“You sure?” He asked, concerned.

Ella swallowed and nodded. She tried to look him in the eye, but she had a hard time doing it. “It… going for a walk on the beach… it’s very nice.”

The way she said that, the awe and reverence in her voice, it reminded Nick of one of his early dates with Kim, and how she’d told him that she’d never gone to the beach before, and how they’d enjoyed a nice date walking down the beach in the sunset. Like Kim, Ella was in a similar situation, though for very different reasons.

But before Nick could follow that train of thought into the station, he quickly corrected course. After all, this wasn’t something he should be thinking of when dealing with Ella- comparing her to other women? He shouldn’t do that to any potential partner!

He decided to focus on her, and her alone. That was the most respectful thing he could- or should- do with her.

“I thought you were probably under a lot of pressure, talking to me alone like that, with everyone looking at you,” he explained. The way Ella’s eyes had been shifting around and the look of guilt on her face when Nick had come up to talk to her, it was obvious. She hated being the center of attention, and like it or not, wherever Nick went had a tendency to be just that.

“Yeah… I… I was really getting nervous,” she admitted sheepishly. “I mean… it’s a beach party, and… and you came to talk to me? When you could have been talking to anyone else? That’s gotta get people talking, I mean…”

“Why shouldn’t I come talk to you?” Nick asked, trying to boost the poor girl’s cratering self-esteem a little. “You didn’t look like you were having fun at the party, so I wanted to make sure you could enjoy yourself too!”

Ella smiled a shy smile at him, and her amber eyes glowed with appreciation. “…Thank you for that,” she said, brushing lightly at her bangs with one hand while the other self-consciously tugged her swimsuit up a little higher. “I haven’t been round other people before in situations like this, so I didn’t really know what to do…”

Parties were never something Ella had gotten to experience. Those horrible women had never even thrown her a birthday party before! So she was woefully unequipped to handle such a situation, and she knew it.

But… she was glad that Nick had come up to her and tried to make sure she could have a good time, even if that involved putting her on the spot in a way that she definitely wasn’t prepared for like this time.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I can’t imagine that I’d be good company, though,” she admitted with a sigh. “What would I even talk about with the others? My favorite brand of cleaning supplies? Somehow I don’t imagine that would make me a lot of friends.”

Nick winced. He expected something like this from her, even if he didn’t like it. After all, Ella was in a pretty difficult position on this show. She’d been stunted due to her experiences and her mental health issues. At least Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin wasn’t afraid to express herself or make her desires known.

“I think there are all sorts of things we can talk about,” he said, shaking his head. “How are you liking the island so far?”

He knew it was a pretty shitty conversation starter. Especially when he was trying to get to know someone and help them have a good time. But it was the best he could come up with on such short notice.

Luckily, Ella didn’t seem to mind. She smiled bashfully at him and blushed a little.

“I… I’ve never been to the beach before,” she admitted. “The sand… the water… it’s all so new. I’d like to go swimming… but I’ve never learned.”

“I’m sure we could get someone to teach you,” Nick suggested.

Ella liked the sound of that. But she wasn’t satisfied. This was her chance to be bold, and that’s what she was going to do.

“Could… could you teach me?” She asked, looking hopefully at him.

Nick was caught off-guard by that.

“Err… you want me to teach you?” He stammered nervously. “But I’m hardly qualified for something like that…”

“You know how to swim, don’t you?” Ella pointed out. In her mind, you didn’t need to be more qualified than that to help.

“Well, yeah, but it’s a little more complicated than that,” Nick replied. “You need, like, credentials, or something! And training! And the ability to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation when someone almost drowns, I think!”

He was just rambling at this point, but it was hard for him to get his thoughts in order. Meanwhile, Ella just stared at him hopefully.

“Well… if you wanted to give me mouth to mouth… I wouldn’t mind so much…” It had take most of Ella’s courage to ask that, and she could hear the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears. Her hand fumbled for the rubber-band on her wrist, and she quickly snapped it with a loud “THWAP!” hoping that would be enough.

It wasn’t enough to settle her down, so she needed to do it two more times. “THWAP! THWAP!”

Each time she did, she winced from the pain, and Nick winced as well, feeling awful that his hesitation put her in such a bad position.

“…I’m sorry,” he apologized, which unfortunately resulted in even more alarm coming from the young maiden.

“Eh!? Sorry? But… you… you don’t need to apologize!” Ella stammered, waving her hands frantically. “It’s okay, really!”

Nick wasn’t at all sure about that. “No, I mean… I’m sorry for shooting your idea down so quickly,” he clarified. “I’m sorry about that. I’d be happy to, if you wanted to, I mean.”

Ella blinked. Then a smear of crimson flashed across her face. “…W-wanted to… you mean… mouth to mouth?” She stammered, nearly falling over her own feet as she shifted awkwardly in place.

Nick gasped. “No! I just meant… err… well, it’s not like I wouldn’t enjoy it, but I was talking about teaching you how to swim, I meant!”

“Oh… oh, right,” Ella said, calming down a little. Her hand froze halfway to her rubber-band, and she tried to still her heart without having to rely on it. She actually managed it, much to her delight and surprise.

Nick still felt awful.

“…Sorry,” he apologized, wincing. “I didn’t mean… no, it’s nothing. Sorry.”

“Please stop apologizing?” Ella’s words came as a surprise to him, and he looked at her in confusion.

“Huh?”

Ella bit her lip, and glanced away. “Every time you apologize… I feel like it’s because you’re afraid that I’ll lose control over my emotions again unless you appease me. And I don’t like that. It feels so horrible for me.”

She grabbed her wrist, squeezing it hard, resisting the urge to snap her rubber-band. With a great deal of effort, she **** her eyes up to meet Nick’s, and squirmed as she tried to maintain contact.

“I know I have some issues,” she acknowledged. “But… I’m not fragile. I told Dawn, and I… I’m telling you now. I can handle stuff, Nick. You don’t need to treat me like I’m made of glass. I’m not that fragile, honest.”

Nick actually believed her. It must have taken a lot of courage to stand up and tell him that, and it was clear that she meant it. She didn’t want to be coddled like a helpless child. She really was trying to stand on her own, and he could appreciate that, even if he wasn’t sure he should be endorsing it, given her existing issues.

But if she was sure that there wasn’t a risk of Cinder taking over every time he said something that she didn’t like, well…

They couldn’t have any kind of relationship together if he didn’t trust her, so that’s what he decided to do.

“In that case, can I apologize one more time? For taking you so lightly?” He asked.

Ella gave him a small smile and nodded her head slightly. “…I think that would be fine,” she agreed. “Yes, just fine indeed.”

Nick grinned. That was what he liked to hear.

“So… what now, then?” He asked, getting back to the matter they were previously discussing. “Do you still want me to try to teach you how to swim? Because I’m pretty sure, just because I know how to swim, that doesn’t mean I can teach you. Swimming’s just… well, it’s just swimming.”

He could hardly remember learning how to swim himself. And it had been so long since he’d really done it, he probably had terrible form.

“In that case, um, we can just forget it, then,” Ella agreed, changing her mind surprisingly fast, much to Nick’s surprise. “Maybe we could think of something else to do together, then?”

Nick finally got it. Wait, she doesn’t really care about swimming that much… was she just looking for ways for the two of us to spend time together?

Looking at the hopeful expression on her face, that seemed so obvious in hindsight. He felt like a complete idiot for not figuring that out sooner.

“…Okay, yeah, um… is there anything else you like about the hotel, then?” He asked.

Ella opened her mouth, and her eyes turned glassy as she tried to think of something to say. What DID she like about this place? It wasn’t like she’d really had a lot of time to experience it, or anything. Considering that she kept switching with Cinder. And when she didn’t switch, she tended to hole herself up away in her room.

…Well…

“…My room smells like candy,” she offered awkwardly. “…So there’s that…”

Nick didn’t really know what to say in response to that. He stared blankly at Ella and slowly nodded. “Well… candy… candy is good,” he said lamely, mentally punching himself in the face for having such a stupid response.

Luckily, the shy girl snorted and then burst out laughing.

“Is… is that it?” She asked, wiping the tears from her amber eyes. “Saying ‘candy is good’ is that all you have to offer?!”

Nick blushed. “I-I mean… it’s not like talking about your room smelling like candy is giving me much to work with!” He protested. “Ella, I just… well-!”

He was a little uncomfortable with all this. But at the same time… he was actually enjoying talking to her. Much more than he thought he would.

His first impression of Ella hadn’t been the most flattering. …Well, his first impression after being introduced to her other side, that is. And he was ashamed to admit that he’d been treating her in all the wrong ways. Just like she’d called him out for doing, he’d been acting like she was a fragile thing who couldn’t handle any stress or strain without shattering, and that was wrong.

Ella might not have been the boldest or the bravest. And yes, there were certainly trigger points that would lead to Cinder taking over, as she demonstrated by her constant snapping of her rubber-band at all hours of the day.

But Nick could see there was a lot more to her than that. Aside from those issues, there was still a sweet girl who genuinely wanted Nick to get to know her, and wanted to get to know Nick in turn. That was something he shouldn’t take for granted, and he decided not to do that anymore.

Instead of acting like Ella was someone who needed looking after, he would try harder to treat her like the person she actually was, like a girl who just wanted a chance to shine.

“Do you like reading?” He suggested, and immediately realized that he shouldn’t have asked that. Did Ella even know how to read? Did she-

“A little,” Ella admitted. “But I’m not very good at it. I didn’t exactly go to school.”

Again, Nick felt like an idiot. There were plenty of times when both Ella and Cinder demonstrated they knew how to read, and he’d forgotten all about them due to his own beliefs and prejudices, like a complete tool. It wasn’t like he was talking to Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin, of course she knew how to read if she could read those bounty posters and her own purchase sheet!

“Sorry, that was a dumb question,” Nick apologized. Then he hastily clarified, “I’m not apologizing because I’m worried about you losing control, by the way. I apologized because I really felt bad about that just now.”

Ella looked at him with an expression filled with sheepishness.

“Yeah, um… I know,” she acknowledged. “Again, it’s really not a big deal.”

Nick scratched his head. “…Sorry. Ah! Sorry!”

This time, he slapped himself in real life, much to Ella’s astonishment.

“…I need to get better about this,” he said firmly, more to himself than to Ella. “I apologize way too much. Hopefully, you can keep me straight on that.”

Ella smiled a little, feeling slightly better about this. “Well… things we can do together… I honestly don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe… no, no, can’t do that… I was thinking about us spending time together when I’m cleaning, but I think I might be too self-conscious then.”

Nick nodded, remembering how she tended to act every night when she was cleaning the Master’s Suite. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like the best idea. But we’ll just have to keep thinking.”

Reading children’s books together didn’t sound like the best plan, but he wasn’t going to give up. He could find some mutual interests between the two of them if he really put his mind to it. And if not, well… maybe he could introduce Ella to some fun hobbies they could share!

Given her lack of experiences up until this point, he honestly felt really obligated to do so. Hopefully, he could help her find things that would bring some enjoyment into the innocent girl’s life.