Busted water pipe

Its been a long hot day working outside. I start out cutting grass, then move on to working the garden and after that i have some logs to cut up for firewood. Working outside in the heat all day tends to make a man sweaty and smelly. Im ready for a shower. Its saturday evening now, the wife is at work, as i start to walk in my mother in law meets me at the back door with an ice cold beer. She tells me to sit down and relax for a minute as i've been working hard all day. So i do. I sit there and enjoy my cold beer and strike up a conversation. My mother in law mentions she might have an old friend over later, i say im ok with that and its probably time for me to shower now. Especially if we're having company later. So as i start to get up my mil says, you know ive already got a load of your clothes in the laundry room, you might as well strip naked when you go in and leave your clothes here for me to wash. Ill sit outside and wait so you can have some privacy. Also i've got a load of towels in the washer almost done. When they finish i'll put them in the dryer and start your clothes. As soon as they dry i'll sit one outside the bathroom door for you. I agree and proceed to go inside and get butt naked in the laundry room. I then walk to the shower on the other side of the house with my penis swinging around. It feels strange walking around like this knowing she isn't that far away. I hop in the shower and begin to rinse off and soap up. I take my time because it is so relaxing. As soon as i'm done washing, i here what sounds like footsteps running and then banging on the bathroom door. My mother in law is freaking out. She says "help i dont know what happened, but water is going everywhere and i cant stop it!" I get out of the shower still dripping wet and ask her whats going on through the closed door. She says " i think i broke the washing machine, please hurry up before the laundry room floods" i say " ok, but there's one little problem, I'm butt naked! I dont even have a towel" then she says " ok i'll be right back with something for you to cover with". Shes back in under 10 seconds and im thinking that was fasy, what could she have possibly got for me to cover up with that quick. I crack the door open and she hands me a small pillow from the couch. Well not wanting my laundry room to flood i take it and cover my penis with it. My bare butt is still completely exposed! I run to the laundry room leaving her behind to see my bare butt jiggling away. When i get there i quickly realize its a major problem and the only way to stop the water from flowing is to go outside and turn off the main valve. As i start out the door she says are you really going outside naked? Yes maam, its the only way to stop the water. Then i remember there is a valve inside, but i have to remove a panel to get to it. I gather my tools as best i can while still trying to hold the tiny pillow in place. I go over to the panel and begin working. The whole time she is watching wanting to know if need help with anything. I finally realize i cant work and hold the pillow at the same time so without asking i just give it to her and say "im sorry, but i cant fix this and hide my penis at the same time". She says "that's ok, i don't mind at all" here i am on my hands and knees trying to fix this pipe, butt naked, balls dangling and everything, when i here a knock on the door and my mother in law opening the door to greet her friend!