Bullshit diet trends are a multiversal constant

"Goddammit, George!"

Linda swore under her breath at the sight of the dry salad her husband had packed her for lunch that morning. Luckily, a coworker walked into the break room just as she was looking around for help.

"Hey, Tanya;" she smiled as sweetly as she could manage. "Could you do me a huge favor?"

"What's up?"

"My husband and I are trying this new semenarian diet thing that everyone's talking about -- the only protein we can eat is cum -- but my beloved idiot forgot to jizz in my salad before he boxed it up. Could I maybe have some of yours?"

Tanya sighed as she hiked up her skirt and fished her cock out of her panties, stroking it quickly to full-mast.

"Fine, but you're sucking it out of me. I haven't had decent head all week."

"Oh, of course! I'd never ask you to do it yourself."

In moments, Tanya was kneeling on the table in front of Linda, the salad bowl inches from her dangling member. Linda eyed both hungrily as she wrapped both hands around the shaft.

"This dick reminds me of my roommate back in college. She used fuck me so hard... One time, we actually broke the bed!"

Tanya's cock, now fully erect, visible pulsed at the thought of a skinny little coed like Linda must've been getting plowed against a cheap university mattress.

"You like that story, huh? George likes it, too. I wonder if I could track her down in time for our anniversa--"

Linda was suddenly cut off when Tanya grabbed her soft hair and pulled her mouth down over her throbbing head. Getting the message, the married woman got straight to work. She eased her way down the shaft, inch by inch, savoring the taste and the size of her colleague's cock. Her throat opened up for it with practiced ease, and when her lips reached the base she held it there for a while, winking up at Tanya calmly.

"Fuck... I've watched you work under Mr. Oskar's desk, but feeling it is something else entirely! Why didn't we do this sooner?"

Linda pulled back just as slowly as she'd taken Tanya in, keeping just the head in her mouth to tease it with her tongue while she worked the shaft with both hands.

"I'm getting close already..."

Tanya would've loved to blow her load straight on that magic tongue or all over Linda's carefully made-up face, but there was a practical purpose to all this fun. At the very last second, she pulled herself free and let loose on the salad, spraying jet after jet of hot, fresh spunk all over it. Linda kept stroking all the while, pumping every last drop she could get out of her friend's balls.

"Thank you so much!" Linda beamed, "That looks delicious. To be honest, I prefer it fresh anyway."

"Remind me to fuck you sometime. Maybe if you can't get your roommate, I could fill in?'

"You really would fill me in, wouldn't you..."

Linda winked again as she tasted her freshly made dressing.