Bonus: Food served on Libby's body

The third acid rain storm made short work of Liberty's short shorts, freeing her glorious Franco-American bush. That's when Sophia surprised her again.

"We've raised $10.5 billion, Libby!"

"Wow," Libby blushed. "My fellow Americans really want to see my breasts and bush, don't they?"

"They sure do. In fact, we've had an offer from the world's three most eccentric billionaires to each match the amount raised if they can eat dinner off your body, Libby."

"How do you mean?"

"I'll show you. You just have to lie down and we can quadruple the amount raised!"

Lady Liberty was ready to do anything to end acid rain in the United States forever. She lay down on Ellis down like Sophia instructed. Her restorationist then buffed and polished her right nipple to a copper gleam.

"In Japan they call this 'Nyotaimori'," Sophia explained as she worked over Libby's grand nipples. "But of course in Japan they serve sushi like this. This is America! We've had the finest New York chefs cook the finest American cuisine!"

News helicopters recorded the newfound gleam of Libby's grand tetons. Sophia's team of chefs laid out a fine American meal on the Statue of Liberty's copper nipples: Oysters Rockefeller, Boston clam chowder, New York pizza, Carolina barbecue, Texas Porterhouse steaks, California sushi rolls, Puerto Rican empanadillas, Hawaiian poké, and baked Alaska.

The news coverage of the Statue of Liberty's glorious tits redoubled when the three eccentric billionaires arrived, each signing a giant novelty check to Sophia's charity before eating a meal off Libby's nipples.