Blaze Broke The Timeline

By the time the glowing portal swirled into being in mid-air, the Loises were mostly dressed. Zatanna stepped through, in top hat and tails, the corset pushing her impressive cleavage up until her breasts jutted before her like something out of a Japanese manga. Following on her high heels were the golden-helmeted form of Doctor Fate, and the crimson-and-gold figure of Mary Marvel, the Lady Shazam, who together took charge of the **** demon and hauled her away.

Leaving Zatanna to raise her gloved hands, showing that there was nothing up her sleeves, and whisper the mystic phrase:

".cigam ezylanA"

A blue glow limned the gloved hands, and the two Loises stood still, not sure whether they should feel anything as Zatanna's chin dipped, eyes closed, concentrating intently. A small, pouting frown graced the sorceress's lips, and when, a minute later, the glow died and she lowered her hands, raising her head and opening her eyes to meet the gaze of each Lois in turn, the reporters were ready for the worst.

"So...good news and bad news," Zatanna said.

"Bad news," the Loises said together.

The witch coughed. "Normally, it's relatively difficult for magic to permanently change a subject. The victim's soul and the universe realize something is 'off,' and both try to correct it. Residual self-image fights the spell internally, and the universe realizes something doesn't fit and tries to rewind the change. If, however, you can get the subject to agree to and accept the change...even unconsciously...and if you can meddle with time so that the change takes place 'naturally,' you can get a transformation to stick."

"So..." the skinny Lois said. "If she had made my believe I wanted to be a pig, and then made it so my parents were pigs, I'd always have been a pig and stuck as a pig forever?"

"Right. Retrocausal metamorphosis. It takes a lot of power to pull off, and it's very tricky. So, um, she tried to do that to you. Basically, to make you into a...kind of all your desires made manifest. Bigger tits, all the sex you'd deny yourself. A bit of a bimbo slut. No offense," Zatanna said, to the shorter, more well-stacked Lois.

"None taken," the shortstack Lois said with a shrug. "I know I'm a ho. I enjoy it!"

"Right," Zatanna said. "So, Blaze screwed up. Instead of making the original Lois Lane's timeline match up with the new one she wanted to create, the timelines splintered and collapsed. So now there's just one timeline, and you're both here. Parts of both timelines got merged together. I can't undo the spell. We live in a universe with two Lois Lanes, and people remember both of you."

"Okay," the original Lois said. "So...what's the good news?"