Blackout Bar Night

“...come on, harder,” said a voice.

“Like thish?” I asked.

“Oooh fuck yeah,” she replied.

I blinked at my surroundings as everything seemed to wash together. I could barely remember where I was, much less see what I was doing.

“Damn Wedney,” I slurred. Wedney? Who the fuck is Wedney?

“It’s Wendy!” she said between moans. That makes more sense. No one would name their kid Wedney. That’s a stupid name.

“Itsh whatever,” I slurred, continuing with what I was doing. What was I doing? I felt kinda cold. Except for my dick. Oh, duh. I was fucking Wedney. Wendy. Shit.

“You’re lucky you’re cute. I don’t normally fuck drunk guys,” she said as I pounded her from behind.

“I’m not drunk. You’re drunk,” I mumbled, falling over, my dick slipping out of her as I came.

“Wha?” she exclaimed. “No, not yet, dammit!”

The world went dark again.

I faded in and out of consciousness several times, barely seeing bits and pieces of Wendy as she coaxed my dick back to being hard. The next time I was able to see what I was doing, Wedney and her titties were bouncing atop me. Wendy.

“Ima fuckin...huh?” I trailed off, unsure what I was gonna say. Wendy cried out in pleasure, then collapsed on top of me. Then I realized I had cum again. The post-nut clarity cleared a bit of the fog from my drunk mind. “Oh, hey Wendy.”

“Just don’t talk anymore, okay?” Said Wedney, lying down beside me. “Just go to sleep. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, you’re...” I mumbled, drifting off to sleep.

When I woke up, I had a massive hangover. My head was pounding like someone was busting down walls with a sledgehammer inside there. I glanced around at my surroundings, only to see myself alone in a room at some inn. I was naked, and my clothes were strewn about the room. For some reason, my sword was dangling from the top of the cabinet in the corner.

Groaning, I went about gathering my things and getting dressed. On the dresser sat a note next to a bottle that read:

Drink this when you wake up. It’ll make your hangover better.

-Wendy

Unsure who this Wendy chick was due to the blackout, I assumed she’s the reason I was in such a state of disarray. I gingerly smelled the bottle’s liquid. It smelled awful. Like burning rubber, if the rubber was also sprayed by a skunk.

Pinching my nose shut, I quickly downed the bottle. It tasted just as awful as it smelled, nearly making me retch. I barely held it down. Luckily for me, it did what it was advertised for. My headache had mostly subsided, the demolition crew finally getting fired. I left the inn room, and headed down to the front desk, palming the room key in my pocket.

“Here you go,” I said, handing the key back to the innkeeper.

“Got a message for you from the guard,” said the innkeep. “Said they’ve got your party there already, and they want you to come too.”

“Huh!? What’d I do to get on the guard’s bad side?” I asked, incredulous.

“Bad side? What do you...oh. Yeah that was bad phrasing, wasn’t it?” said the innkeep, scratching his beard. “Nothing like what you’re thinking. They’ve got a favor to ask.”

“What the hell? Are they the mob or something?” I asked.

“Damn my phrasing! Look, the city guard needs your heads for something big.” he sighed, realizing how he made it sound. “You know what. Screw it. Go to the guard barrack. I’m done.”

Okaaayyy.

I left the inn and headed up to the guard barrack, eager to figure out what the he’ll was going on.