Black Widow and Deadpool -- BFFs!

"Wade, for the thousandth time... We. Were. Never. Married," Natasha sighed in frustration.

"Not in this universe, no. But the actors who played us in our movies were married -- then they got divorced. And if you think that's a crazy coincidence, this'll blow your mind -- Thanos and Cable are the same person."

"There are no movies about us..."

"Not in this world, no. I mentioned that already -- try to keep up! Some super spy you turned out to be."

"Wade, keep this up and I swear to god..."

"Hey, I'm just saying that we're huge money in the movie business, at least in other universes, I don't see why we don't sell the movie rights to this adventure here and buy ourselves Scrooge McDuck vaults--"

BLAM!

"I told you what would happen if you didn't shut up about that," Natasha smirked, shooting Wade right between the eyes. She stood there, satisfied and relieved as she waited for his healing factor to repair the damage, enjoying the lack of constant yapping in her ear. *Sweet, sweet silence. How I've missed you,* she thought.

"Gadjkghdhtkfnnnagh..." Wade groaned as he stumbled to his feet. "Totally not cool, Widow. That was a real Wolverine move."

"...I'll take that as a compliment. So, Any idea where Taskmaster is right now?"

"A few. There are a few bars where the mercs and hired thugs hang out I could show you."

"I'm guessing you mean to start with the Bar With No Name," Natasha remarked.

Wade nodded. "So you've been, huh? They have the best karaoke nights. I'll never forget listening to Juggernaut sing 'Milkshake'. He *nailed* it. Nailed. It."

"Can we get going, Wade? I don't have time for your... wait, Juggernaut sang 'Milkshake'? Seriously? Juggernaut?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah. Cain Marko has the voice of an angel. Once he sang 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' -- I was a blubbering wreck by the end."

"I... would actually pay money to see that," Natasha admitted.

"Ooh! We should totally go for karaoke sometime," Wade suggested. "Tonight's trivia night, though -- we should totally team up for it. Between your SHIELD intelligence and my extensive, mostly useless knowledge of pop culture references, we'd be unstoppable!"

"No. We find Taskmaster and regroup at the hideout. And you'll be on your best behavior -- step out of line and you get another bullet in the head. Got it?"

"Fiiiiiiiine," Wade whined, then muttering under his breath. "...Spider-Man or Nightcrawler would've totally been down for trivia night..."

Indeed, Tony Masters, also known as Taskmaster, was at the Bar With No Name, drinking. Both Natasha and Wade couldn't help but notice that there were far more women seeking illegitimate employment there than there used to be. No doubt this was a result of assimilation.

"Taskmaster! Buddy!" Wade happily crowed, arms outstretched.

"Deadpool. Can't believe I'm saying this, but it's good to see you," Taskmaster said, looking up at the pair from his chair. "Can't say the same for your friend there, though."

"The feeling's mutual, Masters," Natasha muttered disdainfully.

Deadpool sat down and ordered a drink. "So, how's the merc business treating you?"

"Lousy. Seems like all the good hit jobs are going to the ladies these days. I'd like to know what the hell's going on here."

"This is your lucky day, Tasky ol' pal. Fury's hiring people to gather info about reality suddenly going all-girl, and he's paying well."

"For once, Wade's not making things up," Natasha confirmed. "Reality is being manipulated, and we need all the help we can get to stop it."

"Hmm. Well, it's not like I'm getting any better offers. I'm listening, Wade..."

"You really want *him* to explain this to you?" Natasha asked.

"I don't like you, Natasha. You don't like me. I can tolerate Wade," Masters explained.

"...Fair point," Natasha admitted. She knew the Avengers needed all the help they could get, even if it was someone like Taskmaster -- a brawl was the last thing she needed at this point. She went over to the bar, ordered a drink, and proceeded to observe Wade & Tony's conversation. Surprisingly, Wade ended up explaining the situation quite well -- Natasha was actually rather impressed. She was suddenly distracted by a tap on the shoulder and turned around to see Black Cat and Elektra grinning wickedly at her. Felicia slipped a note into Natasha's hand, and the pair walked off, hand in hand, looking rather cozy with one another. Natasha looked down at the note and read it.

The McKenzie building. Room 418. 15 minutes.

Natasha tried to put the invitation out of her mind, but the thought of the gorgeous thief and the stunning assassin was overpowering. She desperately tried to focus on Wade's conversation, but her mind kept wandering back to Felicia & Elektra. Before long, it became too much -- Natasha quickly and quietly left the bar and headed to the meeting point in the invitation.

The door to the apartment was unlocked. As Natasha walked in, she heard satisfied moans coming from the bedroom, so she made her way there and opened the door slightly to see what was going on.

Elektra was lying on her back, bucking her hips excitedly against Felicia's face as the thief's tongue wriggled around between her folds. Natasha felt her heartrate spike and her cunt grow wet immediately -- she knew she was moments away from giving in, but she didn't care. She wanted Felicia and Elektra to tear off her clothes. To feel their nude bodies pressed up against her. To feel their hands and tongues all over her body.

Elektra moaned loudly as she climaxed, and Felicia's mouth remained on her pussy, eager to taste the flowing juices of her lover. Felicia slid up Elektra's body and kissed her forcefully -- the pair stopped when they heard a small moan, and turned to see Natasha, who had unzipped her suit halfway, her hand inside it, groping at one of her breasts. Smiling, Felicia & Elektra beckoned Natasha to come join them...

"Yoink!" Wade yelled as he grabbed ahold of Natasha's shoulder, pulling her away from the open doorway and once again teleporting her outside, where Taskmaster was waiting.

"I'm disappointed, Natasha. You're the last person I'd have ever expected to crack," said Masters.

"I... I'm sorry, Wade," Natasha said as the lustful fog cleared from her mind. "The urges... they're getting stronger."

"All good, Nat. Every time I stop you from having hot lesbian sex, I get an extra hundred thousand from Fury," Wade said back.

"Well, I owe you... again," Natasha grudgingly admitted. She began to wonder if she should even be a part of this mission anymore. If other heroines or villainesses saw her, they'd likely make a pass at her, and now she knew she wouldn't be able to resist -- she could have ignored Felicia & Elektra's invitation, but she didn't. The Black Widow had the willpower to endure pretty much any situation 99.9% of the time, but now? When it came to being seduced, her confidence was now at an all-time low. And she knew she couldn't keep relying on Deadpool to bail her out.

"We should get back to the hideout."

Still, she didn't want to sit on the sidelines as reality was manipulated around her. As good as giving in to her overwhelming lesbian urges would feel, none of this was right. So, as she and the mercs she was travelling with made their way back to their safehouse, she wondered what her own next move should be...