Bill discovers his neighbor Amber is a p-zombie

It happened on his morning walk.

Bill was enjoying a leisurely stroll around his neighborhood, steaming mug of coffee in hand. It was a chilly morning but with hot coffee and a heavy jacket he didn't mind. He had always been a morning person, and since moving to a cozy townhouse in a historic neighborhood he'd made sure to take advantage of the pristine early morning solitude to clear his head. This week he was walking a little more slowly than usual; he'd built up enough PTO at his job to take a few days off and he had decided to treat himself.

It had been a few years since his wife passed and Bill was just starting to re-emerge into the world around him. He had thrown himself into his job and hadn't come up for air until a few months ago. After that, he experienced what he called "Grief 2.0" - that middle-term ennui when the wounds have scabbed over but still hurt like hell. He wasn't necessarily ready for romance again, but he was starting to long for some human connection.

His reverie was interrupted as he turned a corner and almost bumped into his neighbor Amber, who was out for her morning jog. They often ran into each other in the early morning. She liked to jog before work and it seemed there weren't many other morning people in their neighborhood. She gave him a pleasant smile and stopped for a minute catch her breath. "Hey Bill, how's life treating you?"

Bill had always like Amber. In truth, he could see them together in another life. She was about five years his junior and cute in a girl-next-door way. She had a bubbly personality and a chipper positivity that left him feeling a little better after every interaction. He enjoyed their morning talks.

"Not too bad. How about you? Any luck selling the car?"

"No takers yet, but it's only been up for a week. If I don't get any after a month, I may just have to take it to the dealership and see what I can get for a trade-in. I was hoping to..."

She trailed off mid-sentence, with an odd look on her face. She turned her face to the sky as if listening to something that he couldn't hear. Bill felt a twinge of alarm. "Amber? You ok?"

As suddenly as she had fallen into this weird trance, she snapped out of it. She smiled at him. "Yeah, sorry about that. Hey Bill, I've got a secret I really need to get off my chest. Can we head over to your place? I'd kinda rather share it in private."

Bill was confused. "Don't you have work though?"

She shrugged. "I can take a sick day. I'll email them when we get there. This is more important."

He wasn't sure what to make of this, but he didn't have any reason to decline so they went on their way back to his place. Amber went back to the usual neighborly small talk as if there was nothing amiss, but by the time they had gotten to the house Bill's curiosity was piqued. What could she possibly need to tell him so urgently?

Bill offered to take her light running jacket when they got in, but she declined. He led her to the dining room where they sat down together at the table.

"Bill, have you ever heard of a philosophical zombie?"

He blinked. The term sounded familiar from some old college class but he didn't remember the details. Where could this possible be going?

"I don't know why I need to tell you this, but I'm a philosophical zombie. If you'd rather, I'm something like a robot. I have no interiority, personality, or sentience. I'm basically a machine with the sole purpose of imitating a human being."