Best of Friends 36 - Walking Back

Rachel danced slowly to a song that sounded like the countless ones before it. While Jack tried to meet her eye, Rachel kept her gaze on Noah. She watched her father's expression as they spoke. Trying to tease out which way the conversation was going.

"Sorry about this," Jack finally said. Rachel was in his arms, but she had forgotten he was there.

"Hm? Oh, it's not your fault. You know my dad,” she said.

Jack laughed softly.

"He's… interesting."

"Don't get me started." Rachel looked back over at the table.

"Does it look like it's going well?" Jack asked, giving Rachel a twirl. Rachel shook her head as he pulled her to his chest.

"I don't know, Dad is so hard to read. Unless he loses it, he’s nearly expressionless."

"Well, I'm sure Noah will be fine."

"God, I hope so," Rachel said. They danced in silence for a while longer.

"Hey, I uh… I just wanted to say sorry again for how I acted the other day,” Jack said.

Rachel smiled politely.

"It's fine," She said shortly. She prayed Jack would drop it. Rachel had zero emotional bandwidth for anything else at the moment.

"No, it's not. Look, I was out of line. I might not get it, you know? But that doesn’t matter. Because it’s your life. I know you don’t need me to say it, but you’re not doing anything wrong." Jack looked at her so sincerely.

He had always been this way. Ever since he was young, Jack always had a tender heart. It mixed well with his calm demeanor. A sort of stoicism that felt inhuman.

"Thank you, that means a lot," Rachel said. Jack smiled weakly.

“So, still friends?” He asked.

The song ended, and they parted.

“Yeah, still friends,” Rachel said.

Jack stared at her a moment longer.

"Well, you'd better get back over there," he said.

Rachel nodded. "Thanks for the dance."

"My pleasure. I'll see you around, alright?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes, I'll see you."

She turned. Those were the exact words she needed to hear. It had been subtle, but ever since Rachel had started down this path with Noah, she found the world questioning her every decision. And with every question, she began to wonder if they were right. That she was defective, something that was unwanted unless she played along with society’s rules.

At every turn, Rachel felt pummeled by a world that wanted her to finally cave in.

It’s why Jack’s words felt like a breath of fresh air.

With newfound strength, Rachel approached the table. No matter what her father said, she wasn't going to let him have his way. She loved Noah, and they had something that no one could understand. It didn’t matter how much her father yelled or fought back. She was going to make it clear that she was staying with Noah, and he would have to accept it.

As Rachel approached the table, her father gave that look.

It was the same one he gave after talking to her coach behind her back, telling him to bench her for the season. The one he gave when he finally agreed to let her cheer, under the condition that she be chaperoned at every game. The look of a man who had already set a plan in motion, regardless of her feelings.

"How was the dance?" Her father asked.

"Fine," Rachel said cautiously. She promptly sat at Noah's side and gave him a playful nudge. "How was the talk?"

Before she could gauge him, her father interjected.

"It was fantastic," he said. "Noah truly is a wonderful young man."

That was the last statement Rachel had anticipated. She examined him a moment, trying to tease out if it was a joke. But, surprisingly, he seemed sincere. Rachel shook her head.

"Wait, really?" She said.

"Oh yes, really." Mr. Wicker stood slowly and grabbed his suit jacket. "I truly believe he will do right by you, Rachel."

She tried to search for the double meaning. But her father seemed genuine. Rachel smiled as she felt tears begin to well in her eyes. She shouldn't care what he thought, but in the end, she did. And he knew that.

"Really dad?" It was a plea for the truth, for honesty, for him to finally accept her decisions and trust her. Her father smiled and opened his arms.

"Yes, really lovely," he said.

Rachel hesitated, unsure if she could trust his affection. But her longing overwrote any caution. She embraced him tightly.

"I do love you, you know," he said.

"I love you too dad," Rachel said.

It was these few moments that Rachel silently lived for. To have a father she could feel safe with. To feel like she did when he would pick her up and toss her in the air. When things were simpler, before he changed. Before he began to ignore her and enforce rules rather than love her.

Rachel relished in the simple, fleeting moment. Her father pulled away.

"I won't keep you, I know it's not hip to be with parents for too long," He said.

Rachel shook her head, smiling as she rode a deep euphoria.

"Dad…"

Her father chuckled.

"Alright, sweetie, have a good evening. And pleasure meeting you, Noah," He said, giving Noah a wave.

Rachel watched him exit before promptly turning to Noah.

"That wasn't so bad!" She said with a bright smile. Noah smiled back.

"No, not at all," He said gently.

She was too elated to catch the flatness of his voice. Or the dull sadness hidden behind his eyes. She was too excited to see the wound that had been struck, and would slowly begin to fester. All she saw was the hope her father had planted in her.

That everything would be alright. That she could be who she was, and love who she wanted.

"Want to get out of here?" She asked.

"Sure,” Noah said.

The two left, Rachel reached for Noah’s hand, she didn’t notice how weak his grip was as they made their way back to her apartment. She happily kissed his cheek.

“God, I can’t believe it! I did not think he would actually give us his blessing!” Rachel said.

Noah mumbled a laugh. “Haha, yeah.”

Rachel glanced at him. It was the first time she noticed something was off.

"So everything went ok?" She asked.

Noah nodded. "Yeah. It went well."

Rachel examined him. She was still too excited to believe it. That her father had already poisoned the well, that he had already done what he could to destroy the future she wanted.

"You sure everything is alright?" She asked.

Noah looked at her and smiled.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, just the nerves. I think I'm coming down from it."

That made sense. Rachel knew how much of a force her father could be. And, not wanting to face the reality sitting in front of her, she happily believed Noah’s weak excuse.

"Well, you did a great job. He said you were wonderful! He literally doesn't say that about anyone!"

Noah looked down.

"Lucky me."

"Well, let's stop talking about that. We've had enough drama in our lives,” Rachel said quickly. Things were good for now, and she wanted to keep it that way.

Noah shook his head and laughed.

"Tell me about it." He gripped her hand more firmly.

Rachel had just enough confidence to broach the subject she had been avoiding for the last several days.

"So… on that note, let’s talk about the kiss," She said. She felt Noah tense.

"I thought we said no more drama?" He said jokingly.

"No, this isn't drama!" Rachel said. She stopped and pulled Noah to her. "I wanted to tell you that it's ok."

Noah looked so incredibly vulnerable.

"Really?" He said.

"Yes," Rachel said. "But, we should probably talk ground rules, don't you think?"

He smiled and nodded eagerly.

"Absolutely."

Rachel took a deep breath. Bringing this up was the easy part. Now came the real challenge.

"I… I don't think it's fair that I get this crazy pass to do whatever I want, and you can't explore things yourself.”

"Rachel I–"

"Please, let me finish," Rachel said. Noah nodded. She took a deep breath and continued. "These are our college years. This is the time for us to explore ourselves, and I think we should. I think it’s important. But, we also love eachother. I know I don't want to leave you, and I know you don't want to leave me. I just… I just don't want you to resent me for not being able to explore things also."

She looked at Noah to see his reaction. He stared for a moment, then cleared his throat and nodded.

"A-alright. So if I wanted to do things with someone… I could?"

“Yes,” Rachel said. She sounded more confident than she actually was.

“And you mean I could explore anything... right?”

Rachel breathed slowly. The thought of Noah sleeping with another woman was enough to make her stomach churn. But she knew it was fair.

"Yes, all I ask is that you tell me beforehand. Even if it's just going to be kissing or something. Tell me first, alright?"

"Alright, I can definitely do that. Are there any more boundaries I should know about?”

"Yes, there is one more thing. I know you like to watch me, but frankly, the idea of watching you with another woman makes me kind of sick. So please, no videos, no photos, no talking about it. Just tell me what you're thinking about doing, and tell me when it's over. Ok?"

Noah nodded somberly.

"And what if I don't want to explore anything?"

"Then of course you don't have to," Rachel grabbed his other hand. She swung their arms back and forth for a moment. "I just want you to know the door is open."

She looked up and found Noah smiling at her.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" His voice was shaking. His eyes reddened. Rachel felt a clump begin to form in her own throat.

"Of course I know! Did you know I love you just as much?"

Noah laughed, pulled his hand away, and wiped a tear from his eye.

"I would do anything for you, you know that, right?"

"I would too."

It appeared once again. The looming danger, the hidden serpent. But Rachel couldn’t see it. All she saw was the man she loved, and a future before them.

"Look…” Noah said, “There's something that—"

"Yooooo, the looove biirrds," An all too familiar, slurred voice shouted from across the walkway. Rachel looked up to find Mike waving frantically at them, a bottle in one hand, and a woman in the other.

"Hey Mike," Noah and Rachel said in unison. They then glanced at one another as Mike stumbled towards them. The girl he was with began to follow, but he turned to her and promptly waved her off.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” She said, Mike answered by continuing to wave her off. She promptly stomped away in a fury as Mike turned to Noah and Rachel with open arms.

"The looooove buuurrds. HeheheHYUCK,' Mike let out a burp before clearing his throat and taking a swig from his beer. With a final stumble, he lunged forward and placed both arms on their shoulders.

"You alright, Mike?" Noah asked, steadying him as he began to sway.

"Oooh yeaaaah. I'm fine, totally... fine. Just having a blast being single, you know?" He let out a weak laugh as his head rolled slightly.

"Maybe we should sit him down?” Rachel asked Noah. Mike’s head snapped back to attention.

“Uhhhh, maybe we shouldn’t? I’m fine, guys. I’m like... good to go.” Mike leaned in. The alcohol on his breath was so pungent that it made Rachel pull back.

“Listen...” Mike continued, “I gotta ask you guys somethin’...”

Noah and Rachel glanced at each other.

“Alright,” Noah said. Mike let out a devilish grin as his eyes dropped to Rachel’s cleavage.

"When the hell can we fuck again? Cause I like, NEED that pussy."

Rachel bit her lip. Mike was such an animal. She loved it when he got this way, and hated admitting how much it turned her on to be wanted this badly. But she had just started to mend things with Noah, and there was absolutely no way she was about to jeopardize that for an impromptu hookup. She glanced over at Noah and found that he was already smirking.

At least, Rachel interpreted it as a smirk. She couldn’t have known that something deeper was running through that smile. That a secret pain was moving the man she loved like a puppet on strings. So, when Noah asked his question, she couldn’t have known what he was really asking.

"What do you think?" Noah said. Rachel smirked and looked back at Mike.

"Hmmmm, I don’t know. Do you think he’s sober enough?”

Mike immediately pushed himself off them and slapped his face so hard that it left a red mark.

“Jesus, Mike!” Noah said with a laugh.

"I am SO sober enough!” Mike answered. “I'm drunk but like… not fucking wasted." He downed the rest of his beer, crushed the can, and chucked it into the grass.

"Mike! Littering!" Rachel said.

"Oh, sorry," He tromped into the grass, snatched the can with a single hand, walked over to a trash can, and tossed it. He missed completely. Mike swore as he picked it up and threw it again. He missed once more.

"Fuck!" He shouted, before picking it back up and forcefully slamming it into the trash.

Rachel's eyes began to water as she laughed. Noah laughed with her. And she took it in stride.

Everything was going great. Everything was absolutely perfect. They had overcome her father and were figuring out this whole dynamic together.

And now, they could finally cut loose and enjoy their college years.

"So," Mike said, slightly out of breath. "Are we doing this, or not?"

Rachel couldn't contain herself. She absolutely loved Mike's personality in moments like this. She skipped into his chest and felt his huge arms wrap around her.

"Let's head back to my place,” she said.

--

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