Best Friends

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Dante was surprised by how detailed his own method truly was. He’d never directly explained all the different ways he identified his mom’s guests. Before the Hearts Movement, it might’ve been embarrassing for Dante to list all the different sounds his mom makes during sex, depending on her partner. Now, however, it was more than expected for a black youth like himself to be familiar with such things. Diana’s interest helped as well, making the conversation as a whole feel less embarrassing for him, and more like an excuse to make fun of how some of his neighbors sound during sex.

Diana’s laugh had always been rather unique, and loud enough to fill a car. “You’re joking right? He fucking snorts during sex?” she laughed again, barely able to finish her words.

It was infectious, Dante giggling as well, as he drove and said, “Yes, he fucking snorts. It’s loud as hell too. Like a pig with a fractured nose.”

“Then it sounds like your mom was a pretty tasty trough for piggy,” Diana continued to laugh. She didn’t intend to embarrass Dante with such comments. It was simply the norm nowadays, and Dante knew she didn’t mean anything by it.

“Yeah, he certainly sounds like he’s enjoying the taste whenever he visits,” Dante said, not wanting to seem awkward by not responding.

“You think the piggies are gonna enjoy my trough?” Diana asked.

It was clear from the way her laughter had quieted, that this was something she’d been thinking about a lot. Dante wasn’t stupid, he knew she was probably worried about whether white boys would like her or not, now that she was eighteen. They’d always seen her as boyish. And as much as he detested the implication, he didn’t want her to feel insecure about her looks, especially when she was so undeniably gorgeous.

“You kidding? I’m sure your trough is fucking delicious,” Dante said, getting an appreciative smile from Diana. “I know I’d love a taste.”

Diana’s smile died as quickly as it had arrived. Dante regretted the words immediately, watching as Diana looked awkwardly back at road, clearly uncomfortable. It wasn’t a mystery why. Diana was nice, so she’d never say it out loud. Yet, she was still a girl. She might love him romantically, but the thought of a non-white guy like him getting a… taste, of her, was likely very gross for her.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” Dante said.

She didn’t reply with words, instead punching him in the shoulder; Diana-language for “It’s cool.”

Alleviating the awkwardness for both youths, they arrived at their destination. Dante pulled up along the curb and parked.

“Gift ready?” Dante asked again.

Diana nodded, gift bag held tight, as she stepped out of the car.

Dante followed close behind, making his way up the steps of his best friend’s house. It was bigger than Dante’s place, a shock to no one. White families always got the bigger ones. That’s why Oliver’s house had always been the designated hangout spot for their group. Before Dante had his license, he and Diana would walk to Oliver’s house together, and it was on a walk back when he had first asked her to be his girlfriend. She’d said no at first, finding the prospect too girly for her, but he’d kept trying.

Diana knocked on the door, perhaps too eagerly, as the sound was loud enough to wake the whole street up.

The door flew open almost immediately, Oliver standing behind it, having clearly been waiting for them to arrive.

“Damn, I thought it’d be some Mormons,” Oliver said.

“Is that really who you’d prefer to greet you on your birthday?” Diana asked, unamused.

“Depends, is one of them a hot lady Mormon?” Oliver asked.

She made a face of mock outrage. “The nerve! Am I just chopped liver to you?” She motioned toward her body.

He rolled his eyes. “You know that’s different, Diana. You’re like my second brother.”

“Well your first brother is tired of standing outside. We brought you a gift, birthday boy, so let us in,” Dante said.

Oliver smiled, finally letting both his friends enter and take off their shoes.

“I don’t see much decoration yet,” Diana said.

Oliver shrugged. “Yeah, my folks have been gone all morning. I’m pretty sure they’re planning a surprise party for me after school’s out. So nothing’s set up yet.”

“What if they just forgot?” Dante asked, cracking a smirk.

“You’ve met my mom. You of all people know she’d rather die than forget her sweet baby’s birthday,” he said.

“And let me guess, she wants this one family-only, like always?” Dante asked.

Oliver nodded, clearly annoyed by his mother’s refusal to let friends attend his birthday.

“Well I think it’s sweet. Shows she cares about you,” Diana said, barely hiding her own giggling at Oliver’s embarrassment. “And besides, we already have our gift ready for you now.”

Diana placed the gift bag on the living room table, inviting Oliver to open it up.

“Nothing from you then, D?” Oliver asked, clearly joking.

“You kidding? That gift there was bought with my salary,” Dante said.

That answer seemed to please Oliver, as he dug excitedly into his friends’ gift. After feeling around, Oliver pulled out a few bits of white clothing. He straightened the pieces out in his hands, getting a better look at them before realizing what they were.

“Lingerie?” Oliver and Dante both asked, rather shocked.

“Happy birthday!” Diana said. “I picked it out myself. Thought it’d be the perfect start to a wardrobe, for if you ever buy a slave girl, and want to dress her up nice.”

Oliver let out an awkward laugh, before he asked, “Diana… what size did you get this in?”

Diana looked confused, as though she thought the answer was obvious. “What do you mean? I just tried some on and bought a nice pair that fit.”

Dante held the bridge of his nose, holding himself back from scolding his lovable but oblivious girlfriend. “Babe, most girls are not as tall as you. It’s very unlikely Oliver is ever gonna end up with a slave who fits that lingerie.”

Oliver smiled weakly, trying to be appreciative, but also clearly in agreement with Dante.

Diana played awkwardly with a braid of her hair, her eyes looking off to the side as she said, “I… uhh… didn’t really think about that. I just thought I looked really pretty in them… and so another girl might as well.”

Oliver smiled at Diana’s admittance. It wasn’t surprising. She’d always been like that, and they loved her for it.

“It’s fine, Diana, really. I’m sure I can find a use for it,” he said.

“Like what? Are you gonna wear it?” Dante asked, trying to move the topic away from his girlfriend’s mistake.

“Maybe I will. You questioning my ability to look good in anything?” Oliver asked, a smirk now covering his face.

“When have you ever had the ability to look good in anything?” Dante asked, a smirk on his lips as well.

Oliver looked about ready to take it as a legitimate challenge, and head upstairs to go change, before Diana interrupted with her laughter.

“Thank you both,” she said, appreciative of the way they hadn’t scolded her for the mistake.

Both boys nodded, and Oliver quickly threw the gift into his bedroom, before grabbing his bag and following his friends to the car. He sat in the backseat, as usual.

Dante started up the car again. He and Diana locked eyes briefly, instantly getting on the same wavelength, before they started to sing, loudly.

“Happy birthday to you!”

“Happy birthday to you!”

“Happy birthday dear Ollie!”

Oliver’s earbuds were already in before they’d finished the first verse, though he smiled at the gesture nonetheless, as Dante began to drive.