Becky cant take any more

Becky walks back up the ramp and goes back stage without a word.

several superstars, male and female alike, try to talk to her but Becky just picks up her bag and walks to her car.

Tegan nox hobbles out after her still in some minor pain from when Kay lee Ray had attacked her recently.

"Becky!" Tegan calls after her.

Becky glances at her, mascara all over her face.

"just don't, Tegan, " Becky says hoarsely, "just don't."

Becky drives away.

Tegan sighs and walks back inside the arena.

*** weeks pass

(Paula Cole's "Mississippi" plays over the scene)

Becky walks into her kitchen, barefoot wearing grey sweat pants and a loose gray tank.

her hair is wild and unkempt.

Becky turns on the answering machine as she goes into the kitchen.

Becky goes to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of whiskey.

she sits at the table, legs spread apart and guzzles the ****.

the answering machine plays messages from concerned friends like Tegan nox, Shotzi blackheart, Zoey stark, even Dakota kai.

Becky just listens as she drinks.

how could they KNOW what she was going through?

how could they even PRETEND to know?

Kay Lee Ray had ripped her heart out.

Becky didn't care if she ever wrestled again.

Becky wanted to die. just wanted the pain to STOP.

she felt like Kay lee had walked on her heart and then just scraped it off of her shoe.

burping loudly Becky goes and curls up on the bed.

clutching the bottle in her arms she stares at a picture sitting on the bedside table.

Becky is smiling in the photo, Kay lee ray is hugging her, their faces pressed close.

Becky stares at Kay lee. while Becky is smiling big in the photo showing lots of teeth she notices Kay lee is more reserved, smiling close lipped.

Becky stares into those cold blue eyes.

she could almost see the deceit on Kay Lee Ray's face.

the falseness.

a hot flood of tears flows down Becky's face as the pain hits her hard.

Becky guzzled the rest of the booze emptying the bottle.

she tossed it next to few other empty bottles beside her bed pulled her pants down around her ankles and furiously fingered herself.

as she did so she remembered her encounters with Kay Lee Ray.

the warmth of Kay Lee's body next to her at night, the taste of her lips, the scent of her skin.

"do ye want me ta **** ye?" Kay Lee had said more than once, and that never failed to make Becky wet.

Becky wasn't sure why though.

Becky focused on the memories, imagining Kay lee was with her, kissing her, squeezing Becky's breasts and sucking them.

Becky let out a strangled sound as she orgasmed.

wrapping her arms around the photo of Kay lee Becky cried herself to sleep.