Baka Yellow Auditions

Nodoka, Chamo and Haruna sit at a table in a white room.

Nodoka: Alright, let's get this over with. C'mon in.

Melfina from Outlaw Star enters.

Melfina: H-hello.

Haruna: Just get to the line.

Melfina: Yes. ahem The sakura falls like snow for...Baka Yellow!!

Haruna: Not bad.

Nodoka: I think we may have gotten it on the first one!

Melfina: Really!?

Chamo: Sure! Now, this will require nudity...

Melfina: No!! I'm far too pure and innocent to be nude for anyone!

Chamo: Really? 'Cause i got a DVD that says otherwise.

Chamo holds up a copy of Outlaw Star Vol 1.

Melfina: KYAAA!! Wh-where did you find that!?

Chamo: Hastings.

Melfina: My shameful secret is out! Now everyone will know i've been naked with a woman, a cat-girl and a child!!

She runs out crying.

Haruna: Damn pervert! Though i gotta admit, she did have a nice rack. Oh, well. Next!

Kaolla Su from Love Hina enters.

Haruna: Hi.

Su: Your head smells funny! I think i want mustard in my tea! I'm hungry for all your food!

Chamo: Uh....huh. And your audition?

Su: Oh, i don't need to audition. I am the 'daughter' of the 'boss', understand?

Chamo: Yeah, so are we all! Now audition or leave!

Su: Very well. ahem I WANT CURRY AND BANANAS!! BAKA YELLOW!! Wahoo!

Su runs up walls and bounces everywhere.

Haruna: Next!

Osaka from Azumanga Daioh comes in.

Haruna: Name?

Osaka: I'm Ayumu Kasuga.

Haruna: 'kay. Show us your stuff.

Osaka stares ahead blankly. The others glance around awkwardly

Chamo: Kasuga-san? Your read?

Osaka: Huh? Oh, right. Chiyo-chan has flyin' pigtails!

Chamo: That isn't the line.

Osaka: The what?

Chamo: The line you were supposed to read for this audition!?

Osaka: Audition? Is that where I am? glances over the copy in her hand Oh. pause Chiyo-chan is gonna be the owner of Chiyo-chan-land!

Chamo: Thats not the line either!

Osaka: ....I can't read.

Chamo: NEXT!!

Osaka: ONE LAHF, ONE MEETIN'!!

Haruna: We can only pray.

Reika Kitami enters.

Reika: I am Reika Kitami. Shall we begin?

Nodoka: Whenever you're ready.

Reika: Always seeking virgins! Baka Yellow!!

Nodoka: A little questionable choice of line, but a good read.

Haruna: I know, right?

Reika: Good. You, with the purple hair. Would you happen to be a virgin?

Nodoka: What!?

Chamo: YEAH, she is!

Haruna: No, she isn't!

Nodoka: What? Yes I am.

Haruna: No, Nodoka, you aren't. trying to drop a hint Remember? That..one time...with Negi-sensei?

Nodoka: N-N-NEGI-SENSEI AND I HAVE NEVER M-MADE LOVE!!! We've barely even kissed.

Reika: Oh?

Chamo: The kiss didn't even mean anything! She's such a virgin, you don't even KNOW!!

Haruna: whispering chamo, shut up! this woman was in bible black! do you have any idea what she'll do to nodoka if she tricks her into going along with her?

Chamo: why do you think i'm trying so hard to make it happen? i wanna turn with jou-chan in the anal panties!

Haruna: oh, you pervy bastard! Thank you, "ms." Kitami, that'll be all.

Reika: I still need your virgin. For...a game.

Nodoka: I like games!

Haruna: No, you don't!!

Sasami from Tenchi Muyo! enters.

Haruna: Name?

Sasami: How do you do? I'm Sasami Masaki Jurai! Pleased to meet you!

Nodoka: So polite!

Haruna: And cute!

Chamo: If I was a lolicon, I'd so perv on that!

Haruna: You're not?

Chamo: Please! If I were one of those, I'd spend a lot more time gawking at Evangeline.

Haruna: I thought you didn't ogle her because if she caught you, she'd juice you like an orange.

Chamo: That too.

Nodoka: Go ahead with your read, sweetie.

Sasami: Thank you. ahem I'll make you feel good for a fix! Baka Yellow!

all: .....!

Haruna: uh...maybe try another line there, cutie!

Sasami: Sure! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE CAR, MOTHERFUCKER!!! Baka Yellow!

Chamo: Double-u! Tee! Eff!?

Nodoka: Jurai-chan, please try to say something a little more consistent with the feel of our show!

Sasami: I'm sorry, but I've never watched your show before. I'm sure its good, I've just never seen it. I'm sorry.

Nodoka: Its okay. Just tone it down some, okay?

Sasami: Okay. Is Sasami gonna have to **** a bitch!? Baka Yellow!

Haruna: Seriously, kid, chill out. We're not on HBO.

Sasami: You're not!?

Haruna: No. I don't think we're on tv at all at this point.

Chamo: To be fair, HBO is not tv.

Sasami: I'm sorry, but your show is beneath an iconic character/lolicon poster-girl like me. Bye-bye!

Haruna: Hey, watch out for the blonde lady out th...aw, whatever, you'll figure it out.

Angol Mois comes in.

Mois: Hi! I'm Angol Mois!

Haruna: I'm afraid to ask at this point, but can we hear what you've got?

Mois: Of course. ahem iYo soy..!

Mois throws her arm back for dramatic effect, which causes her to stumble backward. She manages to land on her shins with her knees touching, her hand behind her head and a ditzy "I tripped a little" expression"

Nodoka: She definitely has the....baka feel down pat.

Haruna: No doubt! Plus shes blonde and her skin is kinda dark! We can replace Ku-Fei with her and nobody will even notice!

Nodoka: Is that all we're looking for? Because I think Zazie would have...

Chamo: I think we got ourselves a Baka Yellow! Welcome aboard, Mois-chan!

Mois: I got the part!? iDios Mio!