Bailey's Tale

"I was born the third of six kids, the only girl," Bailey begins. "My parents were well-off, Dad a tenured English professor, Mom a biochemist. My family was all about success, about being good enough, doing well. If I ever scored less than an A in any class or any assignment, my parents acted like it was a personal insult. What really didn't help was that all of my brothers were annoyingly good at what they did. I was the only one who didn't graduate from some high-powered university with honors. Mom was particularly upset that I changed my major from Surgery to Pediatric Nursing.

"I knew early on that there was something different about me." Bailey sighs. "When all my brothers were discovering girls, I wasn't really all that interested. I got the usual hormonal rush, you know, and I was definitely curious. But they were all hounds, different girls every week. My father, I think, was reasonably glad I was so sterile; I was the only kid who didn't get caught up in some sort of drama. Mom, on the other hand, started in early, pestering me about dating. She wanted grand-kids bad, bad enough she talked my oldest brother into marrying his high school sweetheart as soon as he graduated. That didn't work out very well for them.

"The first time I actually got a clue of what was going on in my head was when I went to college. My first year, I ended up in a freshman English class with this girl, Sarah. She was amazing. Dark hair, strong, dominant, genuinely interested in me. I crushed on her really badly, wanted her to notice me. I started dressing up just to impress her. It worked, too. For the first time in my life, I had a female friend who actually seemed interested in me. I didn't understand yet what I really wanted from her, but that first year of school was one of the best of my life up to that point. Sarah's family were perfectly accepting, really nice Northeastern lobster-pot types. By the time summer rolled around, we were thick as thieves, and I spent the break with them at their place up in Maine."

Bailey rubs her eyes and continues. "So I had never even considered my sexuality, I mean, I was really that naive. I was pretty enough that Sarah I got asked out a lot by the frat boys, and we went on some double dates. Even then, I didn't really figure out why I was so anxious to spend time with her. I lost my virginity to a football player in the back of Sarah's old VW van while she was fucking someone in the front seat. And that's how I found out my difficulty with getting off with most people. Thank you for fixing that, by the way."

Neither of them speak, but Tommy kisses her again. "So I started getting more and more frustrated. I would get so worked up around Sarah, and then I would come home and lock my bedroom door and finger-bang myself until I was raw and sore. I thought I was broken. And then, one day, looking for porn online, I found a video of a lesbian domme working her **** over. I fucked myself silly, pinching my nipple and imagining Sarah doing that to me, being all bossy and demanding. Until I met you guys, I honestly thought it was the pain that was doing it for me. And...well, there were other things going on, too."

She pauses, takes a deep breath. When she's ready, Bailey goes on. "I had realized I didn't want to be a doctor. And I realized I loved working with kids. And when I told my parents I was going to be 'just a nurse,' my mother lost her mind. She called me lazy, and ungrateful, and stupid, and weak, and every other thing she'd ever called me. And then she said that she was glad I was a lesbian, so I'd never have disappointing grand-kids. I mean, I hadn't ever even considered that label for myself, and here she was using it as a weapon. And I broke inside, a little bit. I lost my shit, started screaming at her, telling her off, telling her I'd NEVER have children, and that I didn't give a shit what she or Dad had to say, and I fucked off out of there and drove all night back to campus. I never told Sarah any of that, just ate it, packed it down.

"Two weeks before graduation, I had the week from Hell. Sarah told me she had been accepted to a ritzy specialist program for neurosurgery, out of state. My father called to tell me my mother had terminal breast cancer. And my first week of residency, I had a beautiful little girl, aged three, die in my arms because her dad had thrown her down a stairwell because she was crying too loud.

Tommy grips Bailey's hand tight, placing her face on Bailey's cheek. "I got crazy, then. I thought I knew what I wanted. I retreated into myself after Mom died, and I just avoided my family altogether. I felt so much guilt about that. And one day, I found a website that advertised BDSM dating. I alternated between wanting to try it out and being afraid to. Then, about three years ago, I had another child **** case, a little boy with a spiral fracture in his arm from mommy tugging him around. I felt so angry, so furious, so helpless, so guilty that I couldn't stop things. That I couldn't help. Like Mother told me, I felt worthless. I got drunk, went online, and agreed to meet the very first dominant who contacted me.

"Looking back on it, I was amazingly stupid. I went to some hotel room, and this overweight and balding white guy in a badly-fitting leather suit spent ten minutes spanking me before he had a premature orgasm all over my back. I didn't get off, but for that ten minutes, there in that room, letting him use me however he wanted, it shut the fear and loathing out. For that ten minutes, I was fine. I went home, watching bondage porn and jilling off until I couldn't move, and that was that, I was hooked."

"Is that how you met Rick?" Tommy asks.

"Yep." Bailey shakes her head. "Like I said, all this time, I thought it was the pain and humiliation I was after. I mean, I've never been in any sort of regular relationship since college, and most of those were strictly vanilla. So when I discovered the lifestyle I was all in. I had a domme who liked to whore me out to her frinds, and she's the one who introduced me to Rick. He talked a great game at first, all about total commitment and how he could take me to my limits and help me push beyond them. Even after he gave me that stupid ownership contract, I was still convinced he'd 'fix' me if I just et him push me far enough out on the fringe. And every degrading and fucked-up thing he did to me, and there were a LOT of those, he would bitch at me when I still couldn't cum for him. He had me so wrapped up in trying to be a perfect masochist I didn't even catch that he was turning me into a miniature version of his ex-wife."

"Anne?" Nick asks, suddenly understanding.

"Yeah. They have kids together, and he's managed to get full custody. So any time she makes him mad, he takes the kids away for a while. It seems to work pretty well as a discipline mechanism." Bailey coughs, rolling over to snuggle in closer to them. "So, anyway, that's how I ended up getting the worst sex of my life, and how I found you two and got the BEST sex of my life."

"What happened to make you need us so bad tonight?" Tommy asks, then rushes to back-track. "You really don't have to tell us if you don't want to."

Bailey laughs bitterly. "Oh, that's the best part. My luck is shitty most of the time." She sighs. "See, last night, I met our hospital's new surgical resident."

"Oh, no," Tommy exclaims, hand over her mouth. "Not-"

"Yep," Bailey grunts. "Sarah Miller, the absolute unrequited lesbian love of my life."