Bad thoughts

Buffy shook her head and waved a hand at him, "Nothing."

"Yeah right." Xander snorted. "Tell the truth, Buff, what were you thinking?"

Buffy let her shoulders droop, her head hang forward and with a whine she answered, "Just a really stupid bad idea."

"Explain." Xander commanded teasingly.

Buffy gave him a guilty glance and answered softly in an embarrassed voice, "I was just wondering what it would take to keep you locked up safe and sound at my house so I could have on demand perfect massages."

Xander stopped and just stared at Buffy, "S-seriously?"

Buffy sighed and nodded her head, "Yeah."

Xander just stared for a moment and then snorted, "I think your mom might have something to say about the boy you keep locked up in your closet."

Buffy gave him another guilty look and hunched her shoulders, "Not if you give her perfect touch massages."

Xander stopped and stared again. "I'm sorry... you're telling me you were planning to kidnap me and you were going to bribe your mom too look the other way with **** massages."

Buffy gave a rueful smile, "Really, really, reaaaaally good massages. Mom would understand once she had experienced a perfect touch massage."

Xander just stared and closing his eyes as he realized where this was going, "Let me guess how you plan to handle Willow when she comes looking for me. More massages?"

Buffy bit her lower lip and nodded her head while adding an lyrical "Mmmhhhmmm."

Xander chuckled, "I'm almost afraid to ask but how are you planning to motivate me to provide all these massages? Traditional ****? Whips and chains? Red hot pokers? Bamboo under the toenails?"

Buffy blushed, "Uhhh.... Not quite the way I was planning to motivate you."

Xander gave her an askance look, "Well, how were you planning to motivate me?"