Back to work on that letter

I return to the communications room and pick up where I left off. It’s hard to focus, with Artyom fresh on my mind. How does he do it?

“Tatyana, are you almost finished with that?” Kozlov asks me from behind, placing his hand on my shoulder. I look back at him. “Where have you been?”

“I need a little more time.” I tell him. “I was with Commissar Fedorov."

“Do what you need to do.” He says, rubbing my shoulder.

“If there’s anything you need, just ask me.” He tells me. “Anything.”

“That’s good to know, but I’m alright.” I say.

“I’ll let you finish that.” He says, walking away. “I need it soon.”

I turn my head back to the paper and continue to work. Maybe another fifteen minutes pass until I finish. Just as I’m ready to stand up, I hear a voice behind me.

“Tatyana!”

It’s Fedorov. I hate the sing-song way he always calls my name in that gravelly voice of his. “Tah-tee-yah-naaa!” I can’t stand him.

He sits down next to me and places his hand on my thigh. He wraps the other around my waist and holds me by the hip.

“I’m sorry that we were interrupted like that.” He says, stroking my thigh up and down. “We were having a very nice moment together.”

“I’m going to make it up to you.” He says. “I’m arranging for you and I to have a nice dinner together. Tomorrow night.”

It’s hard for me to think of what to say to him.

“Oh, you’re too generous to me, comrade commissar.” I say.

“There’s more where that came from, Tatyana. I can be very, very generous.” He tells me.

My back stiffens up when I feel his cold hand touch my bare skin just above my knee.

“I don’t want any special treatment, comrade commissar.” I tell him.

“There’s a lot that I can do for you, Tatyana.” He offers. I shudder as he slides his hand up underneath my skirt and caresses my thigh. “And there’s a lot that you can do for me.”

He gives my thigh one last squeeze before he stands up.

“Dinner will be at seven o’clock.” He says. “But I’ll see you sooner.”

I put my head in my hands when he leaves. What am I going to do? I know that he is going to make a move soon and I don't know how he is going to react if I refuse him. From what I've gathered since I made the mistake of signing that piece of paper, most people around here seem to be terrified of him. I thought that I'd be helping fight the enemy but it seems like I'm only here to be the office plaything, and it pisses me off. Yuri was right.

"Tatyana?" A voice asks gently from behind me. "Are you alright?"

I let out a sigh and roll my eyes as Kozlov eases himself up next to me where Federov was only moments ago, and places his hand on my back.

"I'm fine." I answer. "I finished this for you."

"Good work." He says, moving his hand from my back to my hip, before trying to give me a look of love. It only makes him look like an idiot, which he is.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" He asks me. I take a moment to think.

"Do you remember when you said that if I ever wanted something, just to ask you?" I ask.

His eyes light up. "Of course I do!" He says. "What is it that you want?"

"I want a new job." I tell him. He frowns.

"A new job? Why?" He asks.

"Because I'm no good at this." I say. "I want to get out there, and actually do things."

He gives me a shocked look. "You mean that you want to fight? Out there? Like, with a gun?"

"Yes." I tell him. "I would like my own gun."

"You're not serious, are you?" He asks.

"I am serious." I say.

"But that would mean we wouldn't be able to see each other much." He says.

"Oh no, that would be so sad!" I say, rolling my eyes.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me.” He says angrily. "If you're going to play hard to get then I'm not going to give you what you want. Request denied."

Not that it matters. I know Fedorov would never let me go anywhere without his approval.