BDSM, Explained

“What you need to remember, ma petite rebelle, is that all of BDSM comes down to enjoying different aspects of control. Sometimes people, such as myself, enjoy the feeling of being in a great amount of control, while others such as my partner Felicity, and I believe yourself, enjoy allowing someone else to take control. Bondage is a very physical representation of that control element.” Marc was talking quietly, watching Sinead intently as he tried his best to succinctly explain to her an entire breadth of kinks.

The red-headed Detective was listening and nodding slightly, showing she was engaged in the conversation. She had, however, started bouncing a leg under the table nervously and had slowed her eating. Not bad signs, but not good either.

“OK,” she said. “I can understand that. Handcuffs, rope, that sort of thing.”

“The instrument of the bondage is one aspect, but the other is psychological,” Marc said. “By accepting a piece of bondage, the submissive partner is volunteering parts of their mobility, or their senses, or their ability to communicate to the dominant partner. Bondage is a thing people play with without understanding the psychological side of it every day - a pair of fuzzy handcuffs can be a bit of fun teasing for one couple, but for another couple, they might represent something much deeper.”

Sinead grimaced a little.

“You don’t approve?” Marc asked.

“I just think that I’m not sold on the idea of bondage being… sexy,” she said. “Or enjoyable.”

“That brings us back to the main focus of this conversation,” Marc said. “Anything that happens in the bedroom should be consented to. Clearly, in the moment, if not beforehand. If you don’t like the idea of bondage, then you shouldn’t consent to it. On the other hand, sometimes it is healthy to let your partner challenge your limits - say, for example, that we were playing our game and I pulled your thong off of you and used it to tie your hands above your head to the headboard of the bed. You know you would be able to pull it apart fairly easily if you needed to, but you also know that I want free access to… tease you appropriately. Does this make it sound more attractive?”

Sinead had gone a little pink as Marc had given his example, and he could tell that she was turned on. “I don’t know,” she answered. “Maybe.”

“So, you see, there is a spectrum of options. This is the same for Discipline, the second part of BDSM. Some people say it is ‘Dominance,’ but I think Discipline is more suitable.”

“Like the last time,” Sinead said.

“Sometimes,” Marc said gently. “It depends on the people involved. To be a Dominant is, at its heart, to set rules and expectations and then hold the submissive to them. Some submissives like to immerse themselves in the rules and be rewarded. Others like to struggle to meet them, to risk correction. Others still like to challenge rules - Brats, as I called you the other night, are like that. It is entirely possible that you are someone who likes to challenge rules, Sinead, and that in the end we would not be compatible. I hope not, of course, but at least if we discover that together we will be able to end on a good note.”

“Marc, this is- It’s a lot,” Sinead said. “I don’t know what to think.”

“Then let me be brief,” Marc said. “The S stands for Sadism. Again, on a spectrum, it is to gain pleasure or gratification from inflicting pain or humiliation. Sometimes, in the uninitiated, someone might say a lover has a bit of a ‘mean streak.’”

“Where are you on that spectrum?” Sinead asked.

Marc smirked. “A little lower than half, I would think,” he said. “There are many different kinds of sadism. Entire categories. I do not necessarily enjoy the humiliation aspect - other people might enjoy forcing public acts, such as a submissive walking around with cum on their face. Pain, however, when enjoyed by my partner and properly applied, can be a fun tool.” Sinead’s face, starting to show disgust, was telling. “Now, now,” Marc continued. “Remember the spectrum. And that there is another side to the coin - if I were to spank you in the heat of the moment and I enjoyed what it did to you, it would be sadism. But in the same circumstance, if the shock of the spank is something you enjoyed, that is Masochism, the final letter. Enjoying having your hair pulled, or your breast mauled, all of these are mild forms of masochism.”

Sinead had gone deep pink now as Marc continued to list things he had a feeling she knew she liked. He couldn’t help but smile as he met her eyes - she was deliciously horny now, and likely her panties were soaked.

“Each of these elements, however, comes back to consent,” Marc said. “Because, in a proper BDSM exchange, there may be a Dominant and a Submissive, but the dominant only ever has as much control as the submissive is willing to give them. The control they surrender can be reclaimed at any time. So when we talk about the game we are playing, Detective, the thing I want you to consider is that everything between us will be voluntary. If you draw a line in the sand on any issue, I may ask questions to define the line or challenge your reasoning, but I will never cross it.”

“Why do you think I’m submissive?” Sinead asked. “When things first started, what made you think that?”

“You’re an aggressive workaholic,” Marc said with a little smirk. “You want to control every situation, be the alpha in every room. That often means you lean heavily on the Discipline spectrum when it comes to sex - you either maintain your desire for dominance in the bedroom, or to really enjoy sex you need to let someone else take control.”

“So you took a risk,” Sinead said.

Marc smirked again. “I can’t share all my secrets, Detective,” he said. “Now, tell me. What are you thinking? Je suis terriblement impatient de savoir ce que tu penses de tout cela.”

Sinead took a breath and let it out, then delayed her answer by taking a big bite of her waffle and chewing slowly before swallowing. “I can say no to anything?” she asked.

“You can,” Marc nodded. “Or, if you like, you can say ‘pumpernickel’ or some other safe word if you prefer me to do things even when you say ‘no’ because that turns you on. That isn’t so uncommon - roleplaying the inability to say no. I know that you’ve enjoyed the feeling of being **** into situations and actions.”

“Fuck,” Sinead groaned softly, closing her eyes. Marc could tell she was deep in her own head about things, so he didn’t prompt her and let her think. Finally, after almost three full minutes of silence, she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Jupiter,” she said. Marc raised a questioning eyebrow. “That’ll be my safe word. Jupiter. I’ll- I think- Fuck, Marc. Yes, I’ll keep playing. Just… no humiliation stuff. You already don’t like it, and there’s no way I’m doing anything in public.”

“Bien,” Marc nodded, “Agreed. But I have some musts. Things that I very much prefer.”

“What are those?” Sinead asked.

“Oral will continue, and I will reciprocate on occasion, but I very much enjoy a rough blowjob. You already do that well, when you are trying, so I do not think that is too onerous,” he said.

“What else?” she nodded.

“I think you know,” Marc said. “But to be explicit about it - it won’t be today, or possibly soon, but I will be taking your ass, Detective. I am very much an ‘ass man,’ and prefer it to vaginal sex both due to the sensations as well as the psychology. So, as we play our game, expect that anal sex will be coming your way.”

Sinead audibly gulped. “I, uh, guess that explains the buttplug.”

Marc smiled and reached into his suit jacket pocket, pulling out the buttplug that he’d palmed from his desk back in his office where she’d slammed it down. He set it gently on the table between them, Sinead’s eyes going wide.

“Yes, it does,” he said. “So, Sinead. Those are my two musts. I think it’s only appropriate that if you agree to keep playing, you should follow through on my direction.”

Sinead swallowed, looking around the dining room, but none of the waitstaff were near them.

“The bathrooms are just around there,” Marc said, gesturing back towards the bar.

“Fuck,” Sinead muttered and grabbed the silver plug from the table as she stood up.

“Detective,” Marc said, stopping her in her tracks just as she was stepping away from the table. She turned back, eyebrows raised. “I think, once you have properly accessorised yourself, I’ll want some proof. A picture on your phone should do.”

Sinead swallowed, flushing again, but nodded before heading towards the bathrooms.

<U>Translations</U>
- Je suis terriblement impatient de savoir ce que tu penses de tout cela. = I cannot wait to know what you think about all this.

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