Automatic Baseball Bat. Wait, what?

This is, without a doubt, the best gym you've ever been in. Every piece of equipment is cutting edge, including some you've never seen before. For example, an automatic bat. A pole on an automated swing that strikes your abs, retracts, & strikes again. A fantastic design for conditioning & stamina. More enticing though, is the woman using it.

She facing back to you, barefoot & topless & grey track pants. Her hands are behind her head, beneath thick red hair. When the bat strikes her belly she grunts ever so slightly. She must have been at it for a fair while, the sweat pours off her, honed athletic muscle defines her back. The grunts a getting louder. You don't have to see her face to know it's twisted in exertion. After a final strike, the bat machine beeps & stops. She exhales deeply before retrieving a matching grey sweater. She turns around & she slips it on, giving you a glimpse of underboob & a eyeful of abs. Bruised & impressive.

"Howya doin' friend?" she says between breaths.

Accent thick, Irish.

"Good, all good. John." You extend your hand.

"Last Warrior." Her casual grip is very firm.

"O.K. You have a real name?"

"Yeah."

There's something standoffish in her tone, so you you don't press the matter. The 2 of you stand eye-to-eye (hers are deep green.) Your musculature is even matched. She's your physical in every way. You need a new conversation piece. Fortunately, her sweater bears a Trinity college crest.

"Trinity?"

"Baile Átha Cliath."

"Gesundheit."

She snorts in laughter. "Thanks boyo."

Woo, tension broken.

"What's your major?"

"Classics, Ancient History and Archaeology."

"Whew, full on. That can't leave you a lot of free time."

"When I start next year, yeah, I'll be buried in it. Tryin' to have a bloody big gap year before then."

"Hope it doesn't cut into your gym time."

The automatic bat beeps & Warrior turns her head to it.

"Not in this lifetime. Nice chat friend."

You shake again & take your leave. Before you're gone, her sweater's off & the bat's swinging again.