Attracting Opposites

Luke had felt more than a little sheepish as he logged onto his favourite app the next day and initiated yet another of his many chats with Aphrodite. He began immediately with an apology, which she accepted gracefully, and which also gave a slight but visible boost to her affection rating for him. For the rest of their interaction, she was her usual chipper, helpful self.

It still felt hard for Luke to believe this text was being written by the same woman he video called last night. It just didn't make sense. How could the Romance Mechanic afford to pay someone to be on hand 24/7 to talk to him whenever he felt like logging into the app? No way was her name real either. Who was called Aphrodite in real life? And, even if someone was, what were the odds they then ended up working for a dating app?

On the other hand, her personality tracked perfectly across both the app and their video date and, whenever Luke had referred to their numerous text conversations during their virtual chat, the woman on the other side of the screen had known immediately what he was talking about and been able to respond both quickly and seamlessly.

So, really, Luke didn't know what to think. For now, his plan was to skip the next opportunity for a video date and wait until he had raised Aphrodite to two hearts. At that point, he could either enjoy a physical date with her, in more than one sense of the word, or be able to dismiss her as a fraud. With how often he talked to Aphrodite and how quickly the first couple of hearts tended to fill, Luke figured he shouldn't have that long to wait.

---

It was hard not to feel like a stalker when secretly following someone using a map on your phone that they had no idea was tracking their every movement. However, if Luke wanted to try and take things anywhere with Sasha, which he definitely did, then he really had ****. Famous people may indeed just be people, but they were fucking difficult people to get access to.

Sasha actually didn't live that far from Luke, also being based in the Surrey suburbs just outside of London, though in a much wealthier and more exclusive area. His town had the shittier charity shops though, and that might just be his ace card here. It had been highly embarrassing having to trawl through every second hand shop within walking distance of his home to pay hard earned money for some of the worst tat known to man but, if it ended up making the countries sexiest comedian endlessly dateable to him, then it would be Luke who had the last laugh.

He needed to make it look like he had just happened to bump into Sasha by chance, while coincidentally holding a carrier bag full of charity shop tat he'd accumulated to give to her. Not the easiest of tasks already, and one that was further complicated by Luke's initial inability to even recognise his target. In fact, without the map he would likely have walked past Sasha without a second thought and never turned back. But, after a while studying the area she was supposed to be walking in, he was able to identify the lightly disguised comic.

It seemed Sasha preferred to keep a low profile when she was out in public. Hopefully she wouldn't be too annoyed by him invading her privacy like he was about to.

"Excuse me, Sasha"

Luke made sure he spoke loudly enough for her to hear, but not with enough volume to risk her low level cover being blown to everyone in the vicinity. She stopped for him, though somewhat uncertainly.

"Sorry, I'd never normally do something like this, but I saw you perform at the Top Secret Comedy Club a couple of nights back, and I thought I'd just stop you to say how much I enjoyed the show."

Sasha hesitated a moment. Then..

"You were! Oh God, I roasted you in front of your date, didn't I?" she gasped "Sorry. It's kind of what I do. But then you didn't actually turn up planning to see me, so I guess you hadn't signed up for that. I hope you weren't offended?"

"Are you kidding? I paid a tenner to watch a hundred pound comedian. And I got to be a part of the show as well. You made my night"

"Well, I'm relieved to hear you feel that way" she smiled "Some people don't.....OH MY GOD! What have you got in there?"

Sasha had been able to get a glimpse into what was inside Luke's bag of charity shop rubbish, mainly due to him holding it wide open and waving it right under her face. She seemed instantly enthralled by it.

"Oh, I kind of enjoy picking up the worst junk I can find in charity shops" Luke lied, having loathed every humiliating minute of the experience "They get some money for a goof cause and I get a laugh. It's a win win situation"

"Are you for real? I do exactly the same thing?" the comedian enthused as she pulled the bag further open to get a better look "But not of such horrendous quality. This shit is unbelievable! You must have a real eye for it!"

"You like it?"

"Fuck yeah, I love it!"

"Then you know what, why don't you take it off my hands?" Luke suggested generously "As a thank you for making my date and I laugh so hard the other night"

"What, seriously?"

"Yeah, of course. It would be an honour for me to donate to Sasha Stone's personal collection. Who knows, maybe I'll see some of this getting the piss taken out of it by you on TV some time?"

"You can count on it!" Sasha promised.

Luke passed the items he was secretly relieved to get rid of to her one by one - a demonic looking doll, a porcelain pig eating a sausage of all things, a frog dressed as a clown for some inexplicable reason.

When they were all gone, his phone was giving him that extra long buzz that could only mean one thing.

"I honestly don't know how to thank you for all of this"

"Come on a date with me"

Sasha seemed thrown by the boldness of the request, But only momentarily.

"Sure, how about tonight?"

Tonight? Luke already had a date with Diane and, as much as he would bump his boss for Sasha Stone if he absolutely had to, it would be preferable not to piss her off.

"I'm already having dinner with another date tonight, perhaps you could double up with her?"

"Sounds kinky. I'm in" Sasha agreed with a quip "Here, let me give you my number"

Was that a good idea? Luke had paired up his ultra serious boss with a comedian who loved to roast people.

Eh. He was sure it would all work out fine.

---

It was only 3 pm when Luke got back to his flat. His dinner reservation, now for three people, didn't start for another five hours.

He was weighing up whether to pass some time by wanking over naked footage of Stef or wanking over naked footage of Rachel when a better idea came to him - why not just order in the real thing?

But which one? He was horny for both right now.

So, then maybe he should just call both of them up, duh!

"Hey Rachel, want to come over for a date for a few hours?"

"Cool, I'll be on my way soon!"

"Hi Stef, I'm out in the evening, but I wondered if you'd like to come and hang at mine for a while until then?"

"I'd love to! I should be there in about twenty minutes!"

Okay, so this was definitely going to be more pleasurable than a wank.