At a campfire

You awaken to see your leaned up against a rock with a bright campfire in front of you on a starry night. And you look to your left as you see the orc with the elf wrapped in her arms talking about what would’ve happened if the elf had gotten pregnant to which the orc replied jokingly “I'm sure they’d be a beautiful pain in the ass tara...” And it hits you... YOUR DEAD.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE MY FIRST ACTUAL GOOD SETUP AND I GET MY THROAT SLIT IN MY SLEEP! I didnt even want to kill you two after i got so horny! But not like you'd know with the regular cackle and yip garbag-“

Tara: “we can hear you know?”

You turn and stare

“... comeagain???”

Karna: “some scarf thingy we picked up off of a tamer said it could make monsters talk.”

“Wait... so im not dead?”

Tara: “no your not dead... when we came to we set up canmp and waited for you to come to so we could just ask for that chain.”

“BUUUUUUUUUT what about the two guys i killed?”

Tara and karna in sync: “fuck em”

You unclip the chain and toss it over to them saying.

“Well im concerned with how this got tied up with a neat little bow. Anyone else?”

Tara: “your being paranoid... every good adventurer knows that you get better results when you send some unlucky dumbasses ahead as tribute. WHY DO YOU THINK WE PARTY WITH PEOPLE WE HATE!”

...you feel like you just unlocked the secrets of the universe and somone up there in the sky is laughing their ass off...