Asking for advice

Being an author on a popular erotic story site, I had made a few friends and fans. I decided to ask them for advice as I was in way over my head.

I made it to work and immediately called Ron, a fellow author who helped me with several of my stories. For the next hour I told him everything that had happened from the time at the bar until this morning. I finished by describing how confused she was and how she told me she didn't think she would be able to obey my rules.

The phone was quiet for a few moments. I waited and finally asked, "Well, what do you think?"

"I think you're an asshole. You have no idea what you're doing. She's a fucking ****. For the last decade all she knows is to obey. She doesn't think of herself as a person. She thinks she's a possession, a **** to be owned. Did you think you could just give her vague rules and freedom and she would become a woman overnight?" Ron barked. "If you did you're not only an asshole but a stupid asshole."

"This isn't some fantasy story you're writing, its real life. You have to remember, she only knows what a **** does. She can't think beyond that. And by giving her pleasure like you did, she will probably do it again to receive the same.

She's scared and has no idea what to do. For the last ten years, TEN YEARS MARK, all she's been trained to do is obey. You just don't undo that in a day."

I sat there with the phone against my ear my mind suddenly realizing what Ron was saying was true. I am a stupid asshole.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Well I you have a couple choices and depending on what you choose could affect the rest of not only your life but hers. Right now she either needs intense counseling or a strong Master, who will take time to undo all the damage done for the last decade. And just so you know, your idea of fucking her last night only made things worse. I would be willing to bet she's at your apartment cowering in a corner crying and completely confused. You cannot give mixed messages to her. It's either punishment or reward. That's all she knows. You playing a punishing her with pleasure was something she has no idea what you were trying to tell her." Ron explained. I could hear it in his voice how stupid he thought I was.

"I see," I answered, my mind finally realizing I had no idea of what I should do.

"What are my choices?" I asked.

"Well what you should do is take her to a hospital and let social services take over. They have professionals that might be able to help her. Although I don't know if they would. I mean they're already swamped with lots of other cases, and her being totally depended on government care she would probably be sent to a group home and minimal counseling." He said.

"What is my other choice?" I was afraid of what that might he was about to say.

"Your other choice would need you to make a lifelong commitment, or at least a long term commitment to be her Master. To take charge and slowly undo her training. All she knows it to obey. Didn't you tell me she spent years in a basement dungeon? Never leaving and only serving her Master? You need to take control and slowly train her to be a woman again. Hell she may never completely come back. She will always be a ****, but at least she would be able to function. It's all she knows." Ron finished.

"Damn, what have I gotten myself into?" I asked no one. Just a few days ago, I was a divorced man, living a solitary life, writing erotic fantasies and working at a mundane job. Now I had a **** that I had no idea how to fix, let alone how to be the Master she needed.

"Look, I'd be willing to bet she thinks you're going to sell her or abandon her. You need to make a decision before you make things worse. So my friend it's time to shit or get off the pot. I live across the country and I can't really help you but only offer advice. Do you have someone who can help if you decide to keep her?" He asked.

"Well maybe, but it would be very uncomfortable to ask. I would have to expose my secret writing hobby and I'm not sure how that would go over." I answered.

"All tough choices, but it all depends on what you feel about her. It's only been a few days and the longer you wait to make a decision it will only make it harder on her and you. So my friend the ball is definitely in your court. I have to go but call me when you decide." Ron answered and hung up.

I sat at my desk, my head in my hands. Last night when I took her it touched me. When she was lying next to me afterwards I could see it in her eyes I was making a difference. I knew that if I gave her over to social services it would hurt her, and me. I knew that's what I should do, but something inside me was holding me back. I walked out of my office and into my manager's and asked for a few days off. I needed to get away and think.