Ask to use the restroom

“Is there a restroom I can use?” Alex asks, hoping for some privacy to talk to Smithers.

The receptionist points the way, and soon Alex is in the bathroom. After confirming that he is alone, he steps to a urinal, unzips his fly, and pretends to be peeing, just in case anyone comes in. He clicks on his transmitter and says, “Ok, I’m clear. What’s going on, Smithers?”

“First of all, Dude, I’ve got to give you high fives for quick thinking back at the alley. We were monitoring your vitals, and I knew you were getting critical. And by the way, super kudos for that cum shot! You hit the other side of the alley! Some of our marksmen can’t shoot a bullet that far. Heck, when I spooge, I can barely hit the floor when I’m standing up!”

“What are you talking about?” Alex protested. “I thought this thing in my mouth just transmitted sound. How were you able to see me?”

“I hacked a CCTV camera in the area. I try to keep an eye on you where possible.”

Alex still is not comfortable with Smithers being able to talk inside his head at any time or to be monitoring his bodily functions. He sure as hell isn't thrilled with knowing his masturbation session was on a big screen monitor back at HQ with who knows how many people watching.

“Just tell me the news,” Alex says, impatiently. “I’m on a tight schedule here.”

“Oh yeah... Well, like I said, I’m watching your vitals, and you are definitely close to whomever has the Orgasmatron. From the moment you walked in that building, the nanobots in your body have been throwing off their excess energy like crazy, but instead of it making you go insane with monkey lust, something else is soaking it up. I still don’t know the full effect of all of this, but I thought you’d want to know that you won’t have to toss off the moment you get your next woody. I’ll let you know if I find out more.”

“That’s a relief,” said Alex. “I was afraid I’d never learn anything with all the times I’d have to run to the bathroom to — er — relieve the pressure.”

“Ha! You just described my junior high school years. I spent more time in the bathroom stall than I did at my desk. Hey, have you ever noticed that if you hold your breath while you’re beating it, that it really enhances the —“

Alex cuts his off angrily. “Will you just stop spurting that stuff out like that?! I’ll choke you with both hands if you don’t get under control!”

“Ahem.”

Alex jumps, hearing someone standing in the doorway, looking at him. It is a janitor, looking both amused and confused.

“In my experience, if you want it to stop spurting stuff, you are better off keeping your hands off of it altogether.”

Alex follows his gaze down to his waist and realizes the man must think he is carrying on a conversation with his penis. How long has he been standing there?

“Uh, yeah... sorry.... I’m sure this really looks weird,” Alex tries to explain, but the janitor holds up his hand to stop him. “I’ve been working at this studio for 15 years. This is hardly the weirdest thing I have seen, and you’re hardly the first young man who doesn’t feel like he has total control over that part of the body. Just try to keep your voice down; someone will think this is the studio where we do the BDSM scenes, and you will find a lot of unwanted company.”

Alex zips up and washes his hands. He looks at his watch. He should get in for his interview with Tyler Wainright, but the janitor said he’d been here 15 years. He might be a good source for information.