Ask the Clerk

"Sir." I say. I'm holding the chips and dip and the Smirnoff Ice as I approach the store clerk. He turns to face me. Unfortunately, he's an older man, so I don't think this plan will work. But I try anyway.

"This is embarrassing, but I left my money at home...but it's really such a long way back...and I would really like to just get something to eat soon..."

He directs his attention to the Smirnoff Ice.

"How old are you?" he says, and I can tell he's ready to scold me at any second.

"Oh, umm... I can put this away sir, I was just wondering if there's any way I could just have the food--only chips and dip!--and I can come in tomorrow to pay you back."

"You don't need to put it away."

"Oh, I don't?"

"How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen, sir."

"I can't let you leave with the Smirnoff." He says, pointedly.

"I thought you said not to--"

"--Wait. I'm not finished. I'll let you leave with the food only if you share those Smirnoffs with me, right now, in the back."

Now isn't that the strangest offer you ever heard? Of course, I'm not stupid, I already have a particular idea what this creep's angle is. I size him up. He's an old man, so if he tries anything I'm pretty sure I can handle him. What do you think, conscience? I'll probably accept his offer whether you say no or yes, but I really feel like this is a good time to ask your opinion.