Ashley, by playing the bimbo.

"Omigosh, like, hey there, um, Sir," says Ashley.

Sarah turns to look at Ashley, startled by the strange tone of her voice, a tone Sarah has never heard from Ashley before. What she sees is even stranger.

Ashley has undone a button on her blouse to show off her magnificent chest more, but that's not what's strange. I'd have done the same if I had her assets, thinks Sarah.

Ashley has adopted a spacy, vacant look. Perhaps inspired by the "dumb blonde" stereotype and her own golden locks, she has clearly decided to do her best to embody the bimbo valley girl stereotype. She gently twirls a lock of hair around her finger, a ploy that Sarah begrudgingly acknowledges as clever -- in addition to playing into the stereotype, her hand is right in front of her chest, and the motion helps draw attention to her tits.

"I, uh, just wanted to say, like, you know, how happy I am to see you," she says. "'Cause, like, I could use some advice." She bats her eyes -- literally bats her eyes!, Sarah notes in astonishment -- at John. "I've, like, heard so much about your smarts, and I'm, you know, kinda stuck on something. Can I, like, pick your big brain for a sec?" she asks. You have a 3.9 GPA! Sarah shouts inside her head. John had to take remedial English three times!

John chuckles. "Sure, hon," he says. "I know you never had the head for this kind of thing." He pats his lap. "Siddown here and tell me all about it."

Ashley giggles again, swaying her hips as she sidles up to him and perches herself on his lap, making sure to press her assets against him. "Oh, you're so sweet," she says with a wink. "See, there's, like, this big decision, and I can't quite wrap my head around it. But you, mister, you've got such a big brain."

John chuckles, his hand resting on her thigh. "Well, sugar, I'm here to help in any way I can. Just let me know what's on your mind."

Ashley giggles and wriggles her butt, grinding it against John's crotch. As she begins her bullshit made-up problem, Sarah grits her teeth. I can't do that! she thinks. Even John isn't dumb enough to buy an act like that from me, given our history. Besides, I'm not that good an actress.

That last point was a major problem for her. No matter how much she wanted to outdo her friends, her instinctive revulsion for John would probably come through. John would notice. Unless-

Sarah suddenly grins. She knows what she has to do next.